CM Club: If you were me what would you do?

[CMneedingadvice]

This may be long winded so please bear with me as I could do with some other childminder's POV on this. I am a regular in this topic but have name changed as this is a very specific problem and would like anonymity so please don't out me or try to guess in writing, as I am remaining confidential for the family this relates to.

I cm two siblings aged 10 and 14, whose mum works shifts. Here are a few issues I have on my mind at the mo...

Older sibling no longer comes in a morning, and I am having younger sibling (who has behaviour problems) for single, regular hourly rate, early mornings.

I work until either 6.15-6.20 or 8.15-8.20, but only ever get paid til 8. I used to get paid til the half past, ad it then changed. The youngest is extremely draining, and by 8pm it is on my mind that I am not getting paid to have him 6inches from my face saying look at this watch me watch me etc.

Today youngest sibling was playing out with older sibling and other mindee, fell out with them and ran off. (Has done this before). At the time I had mum picking up baby mindee, and 7yr old mindee had injured herself and I was 1st aiding! I couldn't go after him, and had to wait 10mins before I could go, which then meant leaving 4 other mindees and ds with dp - which is not ideal. Went to end of block and he was coming back round the corner towards me thankfully.

Don't think will have them much longer as eldest is getting older - mum was wanting them both at home in a morning but it didn't work out.

DP is losing patience with mindee who follows him around the house constantly talking to him. This is also annoying other mindees, and his mum at home, and his sibling at home and at mine.

YS irritates other mindees by constantly attention seeking, showing off, pushing it in terms of playing games/sharing. Has also punched a mindee around 18 months ago, and has physically attacked his older sibling, I told mum if it happened again he would be out immediately, and I wouldn't wrk notice period for him, which she understood. No violence since.

Had a chat with mum tonight and mentioned I may have to ask her to sign something, that she is aware I may not be able to run after him if he goes off again. Worried as he did this at home few weeks ago and ran across two big main roads (live near a dual carriage way), mum said 'lets not be pedantic I don't need to sign anything, we both no the situation'.

School breaks up and in hols I don't mind for them but mum pays me a retainer, so don't know whether to give notice now, or hang on in there and review in September term.

Thanks for reading this, give me your thoughts.

Surely its worth hanging on til September and then reviewing the situation, particularly as the holidays can only be a couple of weeks away. Even the most unruly children do change and he will be a couple of month older then - might make a difference, and if it doesn't, you can still then give notice.

The running away issue is not acceptable and the mum is putting unfair pressure on you if you don't make an official note of it. Having said that, even if mum signs to say you are not resposible if anything happens, I suspect you would still be help liable. I trust its not possible to keep the doors locked etc.

Perhaps whilst your new 'running away agreement' can also include a review of the whole contract, in particular the timing and pay bit. I suspect the family would find it very difficult to find someone else to look after their child, so you're in a good position to negotiate what you want from the contract.

to be totally honest i would end contract - it's not fair on your family or other mindees - or really to this 10yr old boy he must know people are feeling irritated by him which cant be helpful to him either.Also i think it would be pretty mean to take a six week retainer then end the contract. You have to do what's best for your household and you - it's no good if you arn't enjoying your work

I have told mum I will be keeping him in from now on, as he is a flight risk. This will lead to sulks though I know but without mum supporting me he is not playing out.

I am as near to handing in notice as I can be I think, however, I don't want to let this YS down, he has had a lot of childminders, and I am the only one he has settled with (been here 2 years now). He is not purposefully badly behaved, he cannot control himself or his emotions fully and has a lot of trouble at home and at school because of it.

I wouldn't wait until September and then give notice, I'm not that heartless! I think the 6 weeks would give me time to think about it without them here, then I would review their contracts, and make changes. Mum may say she doesn't want oldest to come from september, wich may mean I change how much I charge for unsociable hours (charge usual rate as there are two of them.

Wrigglejiggle, yesterday when I got him in I did actually 'lock down' the entire house, and me and dp had our keys on our belts like jailers! He had got out at home last week and locked his mum and OS in the house while he ran off so didn' want him
to try the same here!

You are right I am not enjoying him at the moment.

bump for morning crowd

I would def give notice - anything that effects my family in a bad way then it stops! If your not happy either you cant be giving the best care to the others which is unfair all around. I wish u luck with wat ever u decide tho!

I agree with Wrigglejiggle I would try to hold out and see what happens in september, you don't have much longer to wait until you get a break, a break will do you all good then you can review in sept.

I would definately have a word with mum and say you are not happy with timing and unpaid etc if she is unwilling to sort those issues then with everything else on top i would have to give notice tbh.

Good Luck!

Well the responses are 50/50, but as I now have only two school weeks left I am going to go with reviewing contracts in Setember I think. Will be asking mum to pay me until at least quarter past the hour, and may charge extra for mornings too if still doing them for just the youngest.

Thank you all for your advice, it helps to get other people's point's of view too in these situations!

Does she usually come at 20 past? or is it nearer to half past? personally at that time of night i would charge til half past. Infact i would charge til half past any hour as fiddling about with quarter past sounds like a pita!!

hiya chick, you should be thinking of yourself and your own family here and doing whats best for you.
i know youre only trying to do whats best for everyone, but we do this job as itis supposed to fit around our family but rarely does..also this woman HAS to sign something to say she does not hold you reponsable if her child runs off, yes you do both know the situation, but if she wants him to keep coming she either has to address the issue or sign your forn saying she agrees you have other children to look after and cant abandon them if he runs off..you should also def charge her for the time she uses(why dont you charge after 8?) i charge extra after 5.30 and would never charge normal rate for such late hours, but i know everyones different...i usually charge in 1/2 hours but ill be stasrting to charge by the hour with any new mindees...hope you get sorted