Food

[Pistachiolover]

I have had my live in nanny for over a year looking after my toddler son. We order delivery of food from Sainsbury and putting in her food bill for her and my son used to be about £70 a week. However in the past few months it’s increased to about £120 a week which I thought was quite a lot. Her explanation is that my son is eating a lot more (I haven’t noticed an increase in his appetite). This increase in food coincided with the arrival of a new boyfriend on the scene and her sleeping over at his place most nights. So she started handing us the receipts of food she buys when she doesn’t stay at home.

Last week in addition to the usual Sainsbury delivery order, she has given us receipts for an additional £150 of food that she has bought and eaten. This seems to me to be unreasonable as she’s buying things like wine (surely I shouldn’t have to pay for alcohol?).

How much is reasonable for food? Is there a better way to deal with this. This situation is very annoying for me as it’s obvious that these receipts are her boyfriends shopping not just hers so I’m effectively paying for him as well.

[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying information for the OP]

'An allowance is a good idea should the OP employ another nanny in the future but it seems a very light touch way of addressing expenses fraud.'

That's true.

I suppose it depends how much the OP likes her. And how much she thinks it's a conscious effort to defraud Vs being a bit stupid/trying to impress the boyfriend.

She would give me receipts for when she ate out with my son which I’m completely fine with. It’s just since the arrival of the boyfriend she’s started giving me all her receipts as she stays overnight with him / is there on weekends so now she thinks I should be paying as she’s a live in and all meals should be provided.

I am fine with her using the food from my home, cooking it and eating it at his place (I suspect she’s cooking enough for him as well given the cost of the food shop) and we’ve turned a blind eye to it initially, but it’s now handing me all these receipts which is taking the piss.

In addition I find I’m providing food for two places for her - so i have butter in my kitchen but then she buys butter to leave at the boyfriends (which surely he’s also using).

Perhaps a weekend allowance sounds like a reasonable compromise. But the deliberate deceit is not acceptable. Lesson learnt for next time.

Lol handing you receipts for when she's with her boyfriend. This is not a "tough one" as a previous poster said. The food covers her meals at your home and that only. I've heard it all now. No is a complete sentence.

She cannot take good from your home to cook at her boyfriends. It just doesn't work like that. I don't know a single nanny employer or nanny fir that matter who would behave like this.

This is a ridiculous thread. You provide board and lodgings. You provide all the food she eats at your home. You dont provide for any food she eats off the premises except if a meal out with your son. If she make a sandwich to take out fair enough. Stop being a push over.
Also spending her days off at her boyfriends fair enough. But on working days i would expect her to in at a reasonable time to be fresh to start work the next day. You might as well have a live out nanny. And hire your spare room out to a lodger. As under two years give notice.
She shouldnt be meeting her boyfriend in work time. You dont know who he is to be spending time with your child.

I would say no more than £50 for a weekly food budget, for both the nanny and your son (unless he eats a huge amount/lots of expensive fruit etc.)

That would allow the nanny ample room to have three meals a day and some snacks. Just because it is provided doesn't mean the nanny shouldn't have to budget. I would go as far as to say that many nannies would be cautious about spending too much of their employers money.

Wow. Nanny is def taking the piss

You should not be paying for her wine - and even buying food at weekends at bf is a no - tho if she was at yours she would be eating your food

So maybe a kitty of £20 for weekends and she buys what she wants

If she continues to stay at bf - and you are happy as a nanny then consider live out - yes you would pay a bit more but wouldn’t be buying weekend and evening food meals usually

I haven’t read all the responses only some so hope I am not repeating everyone.

But your nanny is taking the absolute piss! A live in nanny gets food provided at the house! She can not choose to go out and then charge you for it that’s what her wage is for!
She adds her stuff to the weekly shop if she needs to top up for basics then yes you give her money but you do not need to pay for everything she desires just because she is live in.

To be honest she isn’t a very professional nanny if she is doing this.