Help - does anyone have a comprehensive list of nanny duties and a bit of advice?

[BirdyArms]

I am just about to employ a nanny for the first time. Have interviewed one lady who I liked a lot, she is very experienced but I am slightly concerned because she did very much stress that she is not a general dogsbody. That's fine, I'm not intending to treat her as one, but one of the examples that she gave was of getting annoyed because her boss left coffee cups by the dishwasher instead of in it. I am not the most organised of people and to me this shouldn't be a big deal - I would never leave the dishes from last night's dinner out but am very likely to accidentally leave the odd coffee cup. Similarly I occasionally forget about stuff I've put in the dryer. She did backtrack on the coffee cup comment when I pressed her on it but it rang an alarm bell for me - but otherwise she is probably our favourite so far. What do people think?

Also I wondered if anyone had a detailed list of nanny responsibilities that I could use to go through with her so that we are both clear on what she is expected to do?

I do not have a nanny but have done been a nanny in the past and a coffee cup by the sink would not annoy me, I used to expect that as people leave for work, seems odd that she would go on about it, maybe give her a trial first to see, but I would be unsure, is she gonna get like that if your dc leave toys out?

When I was a nanny the coffee cup on the side was just a normal part of daily life! What used to really annoy me was the mess made by the parents after I had finished for the day which was left for me to deal with the next day eg last nights dinner plates etc.
I remember the other things that used to really piss me off was coming back from a weekend off to an overflowing nanny bin ie full sangenic and mountain iof dirty nappies climbing wall next to it as it hadn't been emptied since I left on the Friday. Also if you are at home for any period of time when she is working and you make yourself a cup of tea wipe the side afterwards (the amount of time I cleaned the kitchen only to come back in 1/2 hour later to tea dripped all over side and teabag on the unit was unbelievable!!

I'm a nanny and I do understand both sides, I am happy to put cups and glasses (left all over the house!!) in the dishwasher, what pisses me off is when dishwasher is open and people (anybody, not just employers) reaches over the open door to put crockery and/or cutlery on work surface/into sink!! Also if dishwasher is on when I leave, when the parents leave the clean stuff in the dishwasher and then leave all their dinner stuff on the side! I think that she probably didn't mean she wouldn't do the odd glass etc., but that it is unfair to leave dishes for the nanny the following day.

Also, the tumbler thing, most nannies are happy to remove and fold parents clothes from the dryer but remember that we don't always have time to do these things ourselves. It is all about give and take in IMO.For example, If your nanny does the recycling one week for you, please don't expect her to do it as part of her job discription (unless of course, it is!) Just see it as an added bonus! The same with ironing the odd t-shirt of yours, hoovering the living room (where the children do not go) mopping the kitchen floor on hands and knees, these are all things that have happened in previous position and had to be addressed, so now it makes me wary of doing these things in the first place. I like the parents to come home to a happy, tidy home with as little as possible for them to do over the weekend, so that they can spend quaility time with their children, but I am not a cleaner, I am a professional nanny, it's what I was hired for and what I am paid for!!

I hope she turns out to be fantastic! Good luck.

Ali

I think if you like the nanny you shouldn't let this put you off; after all, would it be so bad if she didn't put your left-out coffee cups in the dishwasher for you, so long as the kids like her and are safe & happy etc...? In my experience things tend to get more relaxed once the nanny settles in, and I am sure you will find there is give and take, so long as it goes both ways!!! Be good to her, she will be good to you...if she isn't, you may have to think again. How about a 3 month assessment period after which either side can back out with no hard feelings?

My nanny's duties include in addition to looking after ds - she does all the washing and vacuums the living room floor a couple of times per week.

In reality she does much more than that - some shopping, takes the rubish out, picks up drycleaning and I always find the place tidier than I have left it. Last week she cleaned the entire flat last week because my cleaner failed to turn up (on her own accord). I told her to at least take the cleaner's money but she said she did it as a thank you for us taking her on our holiday (where she had to work all of 6 hours). She is not too busy - she only has my 20 month old to look after and he is not an overly demanding toddler.

My previous nanny would actually leave someting of hers in the place of a dirty cup - just to make a point.

Needless to say, she did noot last very long.

It is not the cup - it is the attitude that is really annoying.

I am not contracted to do any household cleaning, washing type duties. I care for 4 children, 3 of whom are pre-school aged thus I don't get a lot of time to do such duties.
However, I when the opportunity arises I do empty/load the dishwasher, put washing on, hang washing to dry/use tumble dryer, fold and put away children's clothes (leave parents clothes for them to do).
If I am loading the dishwasher, I will go around the house and gather up any stray items left lurking in bedrooms - sometimes the glasses and mugs seem to have a little party in some rooms! I will run the Dyson around on occasion - actually found it helped 9 week old drop off to sleep yesterday.

I would not be too concerned about the coffee cup comment - so what if it annoys her, with luck she will have far better things to worry about. If you expect your nanny to do any specific duties, then document those very clearly in the contract - do not just put 'nursery duties' as that is meaningless. While spelling things out clearly in the contract may seem like overkill, it does help both sides know what the arrangement is.

We have had to make the effort for our nanny - yesterday she when she arrived she said "what a tip...I leave it perfect...then it ends up a mess"...well we are just living in it after she goes home!! the mess was babys clothes on side of sofa from night before - I thouhgt they were clean enough for next day...the dishwasher thing ..is tricky...usually she puts the dishwasher on as she leaves so it is still going when we finish our meal - plates do then end up on the side at times ...but it must be soul destroying to come to work a mess we do try to be considerate

the best thing is think of it as the nannys' office.

It is her work place and she takes pride in keeping it clean and tidy.

Imagine if someone left a few dirty mugs or an occasional plate on your desk/in your office. You would soon feel a bit miffed. Especially if it was always the same person doing it!

If you ask me it depends how 'clean' you naturally are. We nearly got a nanny and when I said I would expect her to turn washing machine off she didn't blink! (and said she would happily hang it out) I couldn't ever see us employing a nanny who forewarned us about coffee cups (we have a system like juras) the fact that she felt the need to warn us would make us think she's not for us, we have a fairly good tolerance of mess!

The last family I was with were terrible for leaving stuff on top of the dishwasher or in the sink next to the dishwasher, I didn't mind too much but one day made a jokey comment about the dishwasher fairy coming to fill it while they were at work, after that they started filling it when they were finished with their dishes.

For about 3 days. Life's just too short to get uppity about things like that, even if it is annoying.

This comment would concern me, not because of the dishwasher/cup thing itself but because it is may be an early indication of incompatibility. If you are not the 'most organised of people' and she is someone who is so annoyed by misplaced crockery that she finds it necessary to comment on it in her first interview, this could be a tough relationship. Our current nanny provides superb childcare and is meticulous about everything she does. Her approach to the world is to beat it into submission through notes, timetables and rigorous attention to detail, mine is to concentrate on the big stuff and slide through the rest by the seat of my pants. I don't mind her rigorous approach at all, in fact I like it, and she might have found my 'roll with the punches' attitude to life charmning. But she doesn't. My sloppiness drives her to distraction and we've done very well to survive as long as we have.

Surely the issue is whether or not the nanny has responsibilities for clearing up after parents/general family mess, or just for children?

If you expect the nanny to clear up after you (ie to leave the house cleaner and tidier than the way she found it), not just the children, this should be made very clear at the outset IMO.

No, I think the issue goes beyond this. It's whether the nanny is bothered by what she considers to be the family's mess, irrespective of whether or not she's required to clear it up.

What about a very messy family where there is a nanny and a housekeeper? Nanny takes care of children, housekeeper takes care of mess, duties are clear?

Though I agree it's very hard to coexist with anyone in the same space if you have totally different priorities on tidiness, cleanliness etc - in fact, I don't think it's worth trying. A recipe for conflict.

Thanks for the replies everyone - have been away for a couple of days so haven't checked back. I am very wary of ending up in a similar situation to Issymum, ie I drive her nuts. The nannies posting on here all sound very reasonable but I'm wondering if she is flagging up to me that she's not going to be!

She does seem very keen on the job though and has emailed me to suggest that she does a trial day with us. Plus the only other person I liked has accepted an offer from another family. So I will get her in for the trial day and try to work out what her tolerance level is. I would hope that we could both be mature enough to sort out any problems as we go along, ie she tells me about anything that's annoying her and we try our best not to do it, but I guess if we are very different it's not going to work. Starting to feel a bit panicy because I need someone to start mid-august but don't want to rush into a big mistake.