Nanny absences

[satsumagirl]

Our new nanny started 3 weeks ago and I'm a bit worried about the amount of absences she has had so far. Within the first few days her grandfather died, so I told her not to work the afternoon shift. An awful thing to happen to her and obviously completely outside of her control. Then the next week she had a doctor's appointment and asked to go 45 minutes early, so I let her. This week she has the flu and has just picked my kids up from school and asked to go home early. We've also given her the afternoon off next week to go to her grandfather's funeral.

It's only a few weeks in and obviously all of those things are not things she can help, and we want to be supportive and helpful employers. She has a contract with us which states SSP only. I don't want to come down too hard on her as she is obviously having a tough time with her grandfather, but I'm worried about the impact the continued unscheduled absences could have on my job. I am self employed and DH works away a lot and we have no family nearby. Every time she is off I need to rearrange my work and I am worried about missing deadlines.

Her references said she was very reliable. Should I say something, if anything? I'm really worried about this as we have had a nanny in the past who took a lot of sick leave and who we had to let go.

I’d give her a little longer to settle down. Leaving 45 mins early to see the doctor and doing the essentials but needing to leave early with the flu doesn’t sound too bad excessive.

That's good advice PolarBear. Thanks.

Would be interested to hear others' thoughts.

I wouldn't pay for the days off with flu/cold this soon into an employment (although I would for the funeral).

Thanks underneththeash. We don't pay for any absences apart from holiday pay as per our contract. She will get SSP if she's off for 4 days. I'm hoping we can have a week soon where she works all of her shifts! It's only happened once so far and she's been with us almost a month.

I would keep an eye on it. Keep a good track of working hours actually done, so you can have a chat about it in a couple of weeks time.

Are you around at home a lot? Seems strange that they think you can suddenly let them leave early.

How long is the probation period in your contract. You can extend probation when you feel there has not been sufficient opportunity to prove that the job is the right fit for all concerned.

Thanks @nannynick, that is good advice. We keep detailed timesheets here and do everything by the book through our accountant, payroll, contract etc.

Her probation is 3 months so ends in mid April.

She is off with flu today still, was profusely apologetic and says she hopes to be back tomorrow. I'm chairing a conference tomorrow and really worried she won't be there as I can't miss it. I've booked an emergency nanny as a back up and DH has also rearranged his work to step in if needed. It's a pain as if she is back tomorrow we will have to cancel the emergency nanny at less than 48 hours' notice, costing us £120 for half a day.

Two instances, the grandfather dying and funeral are related and is just one of those things. It isn’t indicative of her being prone to having dying grandfathers or other family members, it’s just bad luck. We all need to visit the dr and leaving 45 mins early isn’t bad, I have seen employees need far more time off for routine drs apps, she has clearly arranged it as conveniently as possible. It’s flu season, people get sick. It could demonstrate she is someone prone to calling in sick a lot, but it could just be unlucky that she is really sick shortly after taking a job. I wouldn’t have thought anyone would call in sick this early in the game unless essential. If her references say she is reliable, I wouldn’t be too concerned, but if this is a pattern that continues then I would be hesitant to move forward beyond the probationary period. In summary, it’s too early to tell!

I'm going to have a gentle chat with her last week as I really don't want to come down too hard on her with the bereavement, but I think it is helpful for both of us to set boundaries. I'll be saying that:

1. We appreciate that she has been absent frequently for last few weeks due to circumstances that are beyond her control. We hope that things can now start to settle down into a pattern of full attendance, as required.
2. Regarding working from home, yes I do this regularly but it is still a huge inconvenience if she has an unscheduled absence. For example yesterday I had to look after the kids and almost missed the deadline to submit a proposal and will now have less time to prepare for the conference tomorrow. When she isn't here it impacts on my work significantly.
3. I've gone easy on her for the last few weeks with everything that's been going on, but she needs to make sure the children's areas of the house are tidy, sorted out and in good order (this is in her job description and I discussed it with her when she started).

There's a few other small things eg she has been late a few times as parking was tricky on our road (I forewarned her of this before she started the role, saying she should allow enough time), plus she needs to clear up the mess the kids drop on the floor after eating and let me know when we run out of the food they have regularly (eg I noticed we are almost out of frozen peas and she needs to use the system we have in the house to write shopping items up on the whiteboard in the kitchen). These are small things but they all contribute to the smooth running of the household.

Both her references were very good and she gets on well with the children, plus she stepped in to do an extra day last week when my daughter was sick (we pay at enhanced hourly rate for emergencies), so I want to give her the benefit of the doubt at this stage. But yes, I am worried. I really need her to start working all her shifts every week- that has only happened once in almost a month of her being in role.

That should say next week not last week!

@nannynick Yes I work from home a couple of days a week and I'm worried that nannies may think I'm a soft touch if they need to leave early. The fact is I work from home to get work stuff that I really need to eg reports, proposals, preparing for meetings. It impacts me a lot if she then goes home early. I was up until 130am making up time lost yesterday and today as she is off sick again.

Any thoughts on how best to have that conversation with her would be appreciated. I hope it's not too harsh but I do want to be clear about expectations. She does seem conscientious generally.

@rainbowwaffles agreed, it just seems like a run of bad luck to me. Can't be helped. She did mention that she hadn't been well a few times over xmas with flu then a gastric bug before she started, and postponed her induction meeting because of it. It is early to say but yes if it continues we can't keep her beyond 3 months. Basically the next 4 weeks are critical because if she doesn't last I'd want to get someone else lined up asap who may be on a notice period.

I think just having a quick back to work and housekeeping meeting is a suitable way to approach it. Your points re: lateness and not completing all tasks are totally fair enough. I would keep the comments on the absence to a minimum, it could be a bit passive aggressive and if this is all genuine bad luck may irritate her (it would me to be honest). You can raise the dr app- you mention working on a day off, if she has a day off in the week it’s reasonable to expect all routine apps to be conducted during that day. Some employees are sicker than others, that is just a fact so just see how she gets on the next couple of months. You could always give her a fixed term contract after her probationary period expires if you have doubts to give you more time to assess.

I agree, you are currently in probation period so having regular meetings to discuss what is working well and what needs improvement is fine.

Get tomorrow out of the way, you need to focus on your job. Later this week have a chat over a cup of tea, a return to work meeting - how are they feeling now after flu, how you are happy to have them back, how you hope the loss of their grandfather has not caused them to much distress. Ask how they feel the job is going, anything they dislike about it, anything they feel could be done a different way to make things easier for them and you. How they are finding having you working from home - is that something they have had in previous jobs and if so what did they find worked well and not so well in that situation.
They are new, the more you talk and get to know them the better. They also need to get to know you, so need to know that the little things are nothing you and that's the way you are. You both want the same outcome, harmony, working together as a team to ensure the smooth running of the household.

@rainbowwaffles @nannynick That is excellent advice, thank you. I like that suggestion of framing it as a positive and open conversation. Will do that.

We will see how she gets on over the next few weeks. If her attendance doesn't get better we won't continue after her probation though. It's just not sustainable for our jobs.

@nannynick Quick question- how often do you think I should have those check in meetings during probation? They're a great idea. I'm thinking every 2 weeks? I see her daily and do chat to her as well so of course we will talk inbetween.

That sounds about right. It's really just a chat to make sure everyone is happy and to iron out any minor issues before they fester and become major issues.

@nannynick Super, I will do that, thank you.

She said she was going to keep me updated today about whether she'll be back tomorrow but no news as yet.....

Grandfather dying and funeral rare

Flu. Happens and doc app sounds like she made it near end of day to be helpful

Having no official car space is hard. She can leave early but if no one in your road moves - or they go and someone grabs their space then it’s not her fault

Do you have a drive that she can park on and you park in road

Cleaning up and writing foods that need to be brought is a must tokeep
House hold running smoothly

How has past week been ?

The first two are rare. Sickness does unfortunately occur and to be completely fair she did try to please you. How big is the house? What has the past week been like?
Maybe you should talk to her. Initially I would not be worried but if all of this is affecting her ability to do her job I would recommend therapy.

Just resurrecting this thread. Thanks to everyone for your advice.

Our nanny came back to work, all ran smoothly for a few weeks.... and is now off sick again. She has been off this afternoon and will be off again at least all of tomorrow with kidney stones. That is 3 separate episodes of sickness in less than 2 months of employment.

We are going to do an official back to work meeting with DH. I'm so worried. This just isn't sustainable with my work. Her probation ends in mid April and at the very least we will extend it.

I don't want to get rid of her just yet as my kids like her, she is committed and hard working and does listen to feedback. I can tell she is worried when she is sick as she does want to be at work. But at the same time being a nanny is not a job for someone who is sick this often.

Have any of you been through a similar situation with a nanny who had several absences and turned it around?

Are you paying for all sick days

Maybe ring refs again and query how many sick days she had in their employment