Nanny issues

[BestArty]

Dear all,

I gave my nanny of 7 months a 4 weeks’ written notice ~2.5 weeks ago.

She got very angry to have been fired & even though things weren’t great before, they are now at breaking point. She threatened me that she will sue me for libel because I texted one of the neighbours who subsequently went on to be a close friend of hers that she was lazy & didn’t do her job as per the contract. She also claims that my husband stood on my son one day when he was going out & my son was on the floor trying to stop him from leaving. So clearly she is making crap up because she doesn’t like that she was fired.

Now, I intended to give her a factual reference just stating that she worked form x to y as a live in nanny. However I now think that she is basically threatening that if I don’t give her a good reference she will make crap up! I am inclined not to give her a reference because not only was she bad at her job (which is why we are firing her) but clearly she is horrible & prepared to compromise our reputation as parents to get her way.

I looked it up on the gov.uk website & as far as I can see there’s no legal requirement to give references unless it states in the contract that you will.

Any help much appreciated.

Many thanks

Have they actually asked you to provide a reference? If they do then providing something factual is the morally right thing to do - they have worked for you for over 7 months, so they did pass probation but then something has not worked out later on. A written reference can certainly be fairly basic, giving dates to/from and suggesting someone calls you. Verbal reference should then be factual, how they were initially, why you decided to part ways.

Having someone living with you working notice period must be very hard.

I’d be very careful about the conversations I had with her- do it by text if you possibly can, to keep a record.

Mind you, I’d be tempted to record her on my phone if she insisted on doing it face-to-face. Just enough to convince her you had it all recorded. In fact, you wouldn’t even have to do it for real, just give her the fear that you had. Really puts people off ‘taking things further’, even when there’s no realistic payback she can do after she leaves.

Frankly, I’d pay out the notice period of anyone working in my home. No way do I want that mood and risk around me and mine. People do horrid things when hurt and cornered. Give her a cheque and get your key back.

Why is she still in your home? That level of aggression around me never mind my child is not right.

Thanks everyone.

I would have paid her the 4 weeks’ notice & sent her away but I don’t have alternative childcare at the moment as no family nearby. I don’t think she would harm the children & even though it is at least awkward at home.

And yes, nanny nick, she did ask me for a reference.

I would give her the reference simply stating the dates she worked for you and nothing more. This will tell a future employer everything they need to know.

And get a move on getting different childcare. She needs to be out of your hair immediately. You can bet your arse anyone threatening/blackmailing me would be out in a heartbeat even if it mean me taking the time off work myself.

Why did you fire her

I read so many times that an employer fired their nanny for whatever reason but they still keep them onfor 4w/notice

Makes me Think they aren’t that bad

Pay and let them go

Anyway. I think you legally have to give a ref and can’t be a bad one

By you can simply state

nanny xxx worked for me July 18 - feb 19 as a love in nanny to my children aged xxxxx

Live

Seriously? You're making her work 4 weeks notice so basically she's good enough to look after your children while you find someone else? YABU

Princess 1066

There are multiple issues with this lady. My kids are safe, yes. But that’s the extend of it.

I don’t want to get into a discussion but I just couldn’t handle being her employer anymore for several reasons.

She is free to look for another job too, hence the 4 weeks’ notice.