Would you dismiss?

[horsinaround]

Had nanny about 9 months, looks after two DCs. It's her second job after doing something else and au pairing. We have thought she was fab in almost every way (small gripes about organisation) sometimes find her too positive - I know my kids (one school and one Pre school) can be a pain like most kids, although they behave better with her.

Anyway I was at home today, eldest breaks something, I hear this from the next room and look up - just about to say something when it looks like nanny hits or taps DC deliberately with the thing she has broken - ie out of spite/ frustration. Nanny is talking at same time and telling DC not to worry they will clean up. My view is through a window so not entirely clear. I go in and DC's lip wobbling, I extract him and sit in next room to ask what happened. Don't really get anything, ask him if nanny hit him. He says yes on head (which is what I think I saw). Ask nanny, she flat out denies and apologies if she did and didn't realise.

Never seen anything like this before - perhaps one aside to other DC where he was being difficult and she said something like "suit yourself " ( which is fine really I'd just never heard her talk like that before). Kids are playing perfectly fine with her now (I am hovering).

What would you do ?

Bump. Help need to make a call before tomorrow !

Yes, I would dismiss her. It is absolutely not ok that she hit your child and it’s likely that she has done it before.

Any chance she could have patted him on head while saying never mind

If you think she is fab and your kids are happy with her, giver her another chance. You can’t be sure what you saw and surely your children would let you know if she was abusive generally?

Oh duck, fuck, fuck! What to do. I can argue it both ways. I believe she did hit my DC. It's wether it was deliberate. It could have been an accident but this seems unlikely and even more unlikely that she didn't realise she hit her but hit her hard enough to make her teary. I was thinking perhaps she did it as a joke which misfired but when I called her on it she didn't admit it and the strength at which you would do a joke hit wouldn't make DC cry. That said if I sack her that's career ending.

One thing, I didn't get a reference from her last employer - they were in holiday when we made the offer, then were difficult about start date, and I didn't push it as had other references which were glowing.

I'd look at the bigger picture.. you cant be sure what actually happend so are there any other signs that she is sometimes violent with them? Do any seem afraid of her? Have they ever said anything about her doing anything like this before? I think I'd keep a close eye on her for a while. I'm not sure id sack her though.. but you should do what you think is best for your children.

It’s dofficult because you’re not 100% sure what happened. The child could have been testy because they broke something they didn’t seem to be thinking about volunteering the hitting until you asked. The nanny was reassuring the dc about not worrying and cleaning it up which suggests the dc might have been upset about the breakage. It sounds a bit weird to be saying that while simultaneously hitting the child.

So have slept on it and talked at length with DH. We also re-enacted and I think it's possible it was an accident/ meant to be a joke but I do think it happened. DC is shy and wouldn't normally volunteer things like this straightaway. He was also more specific than just head when I asked which was the same as what I saw.. I am at home for next couple of weeks so think I will keep an eye on whilst looking for new nanny and then let her go. Couple of other niggles which bug us and she would otherwise have taken in more responsibility later in the year.