Clingy breastfed baby - nanny with other charges or nursery?

[Suzysuzuki]

I go back to work in 4 weeks and have had a nanny on standby who was available for both days. She also has a 2 year old DD who will be with her.
I've just confirmed the days with her and on both days she now has other charges for a couple of hours. She is saying that she will take my DD to the charges (though hasn't checked with other charges' parents yet). DD will have a meal there.
The issue I have is DD is only 7 months old and has never been out of my care for longer than 30 minutes. This has not been through choice, I am hankering for some time to just breathe. She is breastfed, refuses a bottle (I am the only one who has tried and she's hardly going to take it from me when the boobies are there). She naps twice a day, falling asleep on the boob and staying there for the duration. She's a light sleeper and could probably hear the grass grow, so she won't sleep in her cot during the day. I'm trying to rectify this but she pings awake within 5 mins (she goes for 2 hour stretches in the night). If she's overtired she's awake every hour during the night. I will not CIO. I should say she's my 4th child but none have slept this little.
I've been to look round a nursery, the nanny and nursery would both cost the same as I'd have to pay a full day for nursery so cost is not a factor.
I know that nursery will not rock her to sleep and she will go in the dark room for naps, but the environment will be baby proofed. I don't know what the other charges house is like.
The nanny will rock to sleep then try and put down on cot or take for a walk in buggy (she sleeps ok in there).
Because DD has only been with me (constantly!) I'm worried that nursery will be too overwhelming for her, we don't do baby groups as I'm a lot older than most of the mum's so she hasn't been exposed to many babies, let alone many at one time.
So, I'm looking for advice on:
A) attached babies childcare, what would you do?
B) preparing for her not being with me
C) any other advice in this situation.

I was all prepared to return to work and was comfortable with DD getting used to one person in our home but now a different environment has been thrown in the mix.
Thanks for any help!

Would it be possible for your daughter to spend some time with the nanny before you go back to work so she gets used to being with her - perhaps building up the length of time she spends with the nanny?

Yes, I was planning on settling in days with nanny. But I won't get to meet the other charges or see the environment that the other charges live in. That's the bit that's bothering me the most I think.

My daughter was an incredibly clingy (only to me) baby, didn't leave her for more than a few minutes until we'll over 6 months, rarely after that. Went to nursery a couple of days a week from around a year old and it has been FANTASTIC for her. She did find it difficult to settle but the socialising with other children and the amount they learn there is incredible. If a nursery is even half decent children should not just be put in a dark room to sleep either, young children should be being cuddled, pushed in a buggy or at very least patted, depending on the needs of the children. If a nursery aren't doing that then they're not the right nursery. Realistically if a nanny has two other children simultaneously chances are they may not have the time to exclusively cuddle your child to sleep either.

This could be a stupid question but if she is only having the other children for a couple of hours (rather than all day) could they come to your house or is that not possible/too difficult for the nanny and/or other parents? Or would it make you break out in a cold sweat having all those extra people in your house?!!
At the moment what will happen when she has finished looking after the other children for a few hours - does she plan to bring your daughter back to your house?

This doesn’t sound like a nanny
We have an amazing, lovely nanny part time who brings her almost 2yr old (and has been with us since he was 4months)
She’s never looked after anyone else in that time and defo wouldn’t without checking
What this nanny is suggesting to you is a nanny sharebut without any of the usual collaboration between nanny share families ie getting to know them and their house and costs etc
Either that’s an option, in which case you can reassure yourself about some of your concerns, or it isn’t in which case the entire benefit of the nanny somewhat falls away...
Fwiw I have had two very very very clingy bottle refusing babies and both thrived in nursery. It’s utterly predictable, they have weird sleep magic that gets babies to sleep...

Have you asked nursery about rocking to sleep etc. The nursery I have chosen for DD has said that they will follow whatever it takes for DD to sleep at home - including rocking & cuddling, although DD rarely needs either as she's getting older (6 months).

I wouldn't like the thought of going to someone else's house that I didn't know, seems very disruptive to her day?

I had a very, very clingy baby and she went to nursery; it took a while to settle her but was really good for her. My advice would definitely be to choose a good nursery over an average babysitter schlepping her around other people’s houses where you have no idea who she’s coming into contact with.
But is it a good nursery? Will they rock her to sleep if that’s what she needs..?

@MsMamaNature
The thought of extra children in my house terrifies me, so that would be out.

I think I'm going to sleep on it but am veering toward calling the nursery in the morning and going for another look/chat. I've been texting a friend tonight and she agrees there's too much potential for worry with this nanny set up.

As people above have said, a good nursery will rock a baby to sleep or push them in a buggy until they manage whatever fairy magic they do to get them to nap in cots. My DS was pushed in a buggy when he first started but on one occasion I popped in to collect him early for an appointment and one of the other babies was having their nap on their keyworkers lap!

It sounds like you’d get a better adult child ratio with the nursery than the nanny? How old are the other charges? And how can she rock your baby to sleep with a two year and other children around?

The nursery might be more constant for your baby?

I think the nursery setting will give you more peace of mind as you will know your daughter will have a fairly consistent routine, key worker, etc. The nanny, I think, could lead to a fair bit of disruption, eg what would happen if the nanny was sick?
Any chance you could find/recruit another nanny before you start? (I've never used one so I have no idea if that is practical or realistic!)

Normally I would recommend a nanny, but this set up doesn't sound like it will work for you. Have a look at a couple of other nannies, nurseries and childminders and see what seems right for you and your baby.

Good luck.

I've just confirmed the days with her and on both days she now has other charges for a couple of hours. She is saying that she will take my DD to the charges (though hasn't checked with other charges' parents yet). She also has a 2 year old DD who will be with her.
This is a non-starter, as in the UK a nanny cannot care for children from three families simultaneously (yours, her own child, other families children = 3 families). Your nanny already has another job on those days, so is not available. Find another nanny, or find another type of childcare such as childminder or nursery. Most childcare providers will go along with whatever your wishes are with regard to how to settle your baby to sleep, so talk to providers about that.

I've managed to get her into nursery from May, she'll be 11 months so that gives me some time to get her prepared with sleeping in a cot and I plan on hitting the baby groups.
From March to May my friend has agreed to look after her for one of the days, I'm hoping that I can persuade my mum to do another. If not I'll just have to work around the (hopefully established) nap schedule.
So now I need to tell the nanny I don't need her - should I be honest and tell her why? I think I should so that she can at least be upfront with other prospective parents.

Yes, I would say that you did like the idea of having a nanny with their own child but you do not want to be in a nannyshare with other families. The reason to have a nanny over other forms of care is the caring for primarily just your child, not being part of group care.

Yes, be honest. You could also inform her that she is not allowed to nanny share whilst also bringing her own child along. She may well know this and is hoping she won't get caught.