we had to sack our nanny!

[SindyW]

Hi everybody. This is my first post (sorry long). I am hoping to get some advice on hiring a new nanny as we sacked ours today. I was a SAHM for 12 years have 4 lovely daughters aged 14, 12, 10 and 8. The 10 year old is severely autistic. All are home educated. They are lovely, polite and well behaved girls (apart from the usual problems with the autistic child who is quite demanding). Our nanny had been with us for 18 months and I thought everthing was fine till last night. I work away from home most of the time, spend a quarter of my time abroad but my husband is off work on long term sick so is around most of the time. Until recently, nanny had sole care of children 8am - 5pm but the last few months my husband has been renovating a house so we can move and has been away as well for 3 days a week. The nanny had to work 4 days, 3 nights. She had her own room and bathroom. On her days off she stays with friends in London. Yesterday evening we rang the children and asked in passing what they had eaten. It turned out after much stalling that my youngest had cereal in the morning (made herself) and a frozen pizza in the evening, made by 12 year old. The nanny has been refusing to cook for them and only cooking for the disabled child. We came home last night and sacked the nanny this morning. I just cant believe that she didnt feed my children. I feel so angry and upset. I just couldnt even talk to her or look at her. We paid her until the end of the week and told her she had 2 weeks to remove her things. I just dont understand why the children didnt tell us. They are very upset at losing their nanny. How can you tell if your children are covering for a bad nanny?

[annh]

Sounds like a horrible situation although I am wondering what the background is. Is your nanny contracted to work 4 days and 3 nights in a row? It sounds like a huge job to me as presumably your children are home all the time if they are being home educated. Maybe she just became so frazzled that she kind of gave up! Presumably you are not providing the home education if you are working away. On the other hand, it can't be your husband as he is also away. Please tell me that the nanny is responsible for education as well!

[lulumama]

i think if she was working those sorts of hours, and possibly home edding the children, whilst you work away and your DH is renovating a house, something has to give

the odd bowl of cereal or frozen pizza is not the end of the world

can you just sack her? without any warning ?

did you even talk to her?

she doesn;t sound like a bad nanny, she sounds like she is doing her best under difficult circumstances, having virtually sole care for 4 children, including one with special needs

[Phraedd]

So you didn't even get her side of the story?

[SindyW]

No my husband takes the responsibility for the education although we expected nanny to supervise them sitting and working (as a teaching assistant would). She used to be a primary teacher.

[annh]

So who IS teaching them on the three days a week while your husband is away?

[lulumama]

i cannot believe you ditched her on the basis of one day of less than brilliant food, without even asking for her side, after she has worked for you for 18 months without a problem

good luck finding a new nanny, think you;ll need it!

[morningpaper]

So your husband is off long term sick but is renovating a house and home educating the children? And the nanny is working 4 days 3 nights without a break? Is that even legal? I'm not surprised something had to give - it sounds like you are all doing far too much and expecting the Nanny to do the same, which is unreasonable.

[SindyW]

My husband spoke to her. She said she was under-paid and that she didn't feel she should have to stand at a stove. She said that the children were old enough to do it themselves and that she could earn £600 per week in London caring for old people. We paid her £250 per week plus food and living expenses.

[NoodleStroodle]

I thinking you were asking too much - as I understand it she was supervising 4 kids education and being their primary carer 24hrs a day for 4 days - 4 children..that's asking more than most SAHM's and you've just fired her?

[morningpaper]

You are paying her 12k a year to look after 4 children 24/4?????

[NoodleStroodle]

£50 a day for 24 hour day - that works out at just over £2 per hour...

[SindyW]

Do you think I need 2 nannies then and how much should I pay them?

[lulumama]

sounds like she is underpaid ! and unappreciated !

[cba]

Sorry, but I would have to agree with other posters.
If your dh is on long term sick why is he rennovating a house and not educating the children?

I am sorry, but, I am a sahm with three young children 6,4 and 2. I am shattered most days by bed time and eager to get them to bed, BUT I AM THEIR MOTHER. This lady is their nanny, give her a medal for putting up with so much.

Sorry, you will struggle to get someone else.

[NoodleStroodle]

A living wage!
And if you are home educating then one parent needs to be there educating.
You probably need two nannies, a tutor and a housekeeper.

[annh]

You say you can't understand why your children didn't tell you that the nanny wasn't cooking for them but it sounds like it may have been just on this one occasion? If she has not been cooking for them on a long-term basis how have YOU not noticed this? Presumably you must have some idea of what is or is not in the fridge and vegetable rack?

[annh]

Is this a wind-up?

[morningpaper]

Agree

You need:

• cook
  
• nanny (x2)
  
• night nanny
  
• a team of builders

[NoodleStroodle]

Annh.....you are probably right!

[cba]

I think two nannies might be the way to go. Or can one of you not be at home? You would save money and could properly home educate them.

Why do you choose to home educate? If they were out at school, you may not need two nannies as the nanny wouldnt have to do as much.

[SindyW]

No she didn't work 24/4 on the 4th day my husband came home in the afternoon so the youngest could get ready for brownies. This was only temporary we will have moved soon so the situation would have gone back to normal. My husband around most of time. He has gone part-time at work but they are still finding him a job.

[morningpaper]

How IS your husband home-educating them if he is off sick? How is he off sick if he is renovating a house 3 days a week?

Is he home-educating them in the building trade?

This is very confusing

[Bibis]

Trip Trap?

[annh]

Morning paper, you ARE making me laugh! Honestly, I am trying to give the OP the benefit of the doubt here but this whole thing is sounding more preposterous every minute!