Nannies and parents working from home

[Landladymews]

I’ve heard that nannies aren’t always keen when parents are working from home. My husband works from home a fair bit and I’m also looking for a job where I can work from home 2 days a week so I don’t have a long commute and get to see the baby more often. We are planning to build a garden office and have the nanny and baby in the main house. Would this still be off putting for a lot of nannies?

Oops sorry going to post on the many forum. I saw a similar post on this forum so posted here by mistake.

I tell the nannies that we will stay out of their way. We both work from home sometimes, and have an after school nanny. I make it clear that discipline is their role, and that they're entirely in charge unless there's a genuine emergency. Our offices are in the same building but different floor from where the children are. I float through to go to the loo sometimes but try to time it so I'm not disrupting reading time or something. If I hear a melt-down, I stay out of the way.

I think partly nannies don't like having parents at home because the children become uncertain who is in charge, and when the nanny sees you around, they are uncomfortable handling bad behaviour because they fear stepping on your toes. The nanny might have said 'no' to something, and then the DC will try it on with you. I always say 'what did nanny say?' and then insist they stick with that.

Think a garden office is a good compromise. Does it have a loo? Definitely have a kettle out there.

I’m always at home and sometimes my DH. My nanny has become my best friend. During her working hours, even if I come down from my office for coffee, lunch, play with kids, cuddle, I always defer to her for anything relating to their food and snacks, their schedule, what they’re allowed to do etc. They’ll ask to watch tv or eat a yogurt or go outside and I always say ‘when (nanny) is here, she’s in charge. Ask her.’

You have to be easy company and respectful. Let them do their job.

Problem more likely to be that if you are popping in and out of the house during the day the child could get upset and understanably want to be with you. So could have tears and upset all the time. Totally depends on the child and age but would expect it for younger babies and toddlers.

I think it depends on the nanny, but yes, it does make life harder for them if a parent is popping in and out or they feel like they have to keep the kids quiet because Mummy's on a call or something.

A garden office should help and your DH should endeavour to stay out of the way within reason, and act as though he is "out" at work. I occasionally WFH and if I end up talking to the kids when the nanny's around I always defer to her and tell the kids it's up to her to say what they have for lunch, whether they can XYZ or whatever.

We have a nanny one day per week for 16 month old DD and I always stay out of the house when she's here (which can be difficult!). May be easier with older DC, but with a baby it seems the best way.

I used to childmind and one of my charges couldn't handle having both me and her mum about, and all were naughtier when their parents were around (they were all little so not really "naughty" but an example would be that if I said "time to put shoes and coats on now" they'd sit nicely to have their shoes put in, cooperate happily with coats on, obay verbal instructions, be happy to be strapped in to car or buggy or hold my hand nicely etc. If their parents were about they'd run back into the house, hide, squirm away from coats, kick or throw shoes away - all sorts. All giggly usually so not afraid of their parents! Just massively less cooperative). I'd hate to be in that twighlight zone where you're in charge but sort of provisionally because parents are also there, and I think parents coming and going from a work area/ study inside the house would unsettle children in a way them being there for setting in etc doesn't because they're there but not there...)

An office in the garden would work as long as you (and DH) stick to set hours and stay in your office, and don't wander in and out to use kitchen and bathroom or randomly mix in with nanny and child on flighing visits.