Have you found an au pair agency which has worked well for you? If so, please read!

[SimplySparkling]

We are thinking of having an au pair stay with us to help with housework and speak French and/or German to our children. I have been on a couple of au pair agencies websites and am bamboozled by it all, tbh. I read the terms and conditions for one agency this morning and was astounded by the fees and refund policy (or lack of) if the au pair changes her mind and does not come after all. Can any MNer give me tips or recommendations, please? I have read several au pair threads which were very useful but I would like to be given a few pointers for the best agencies to use, if possible.

bump

Hi SimplySparkling,

Going through the same thing myself at the moment and am totally bored of it all already!

I've tried aupair-world.net following recommendations on this site, and newaupair.com. aupair-world best for responses so far, but it's all very DIY.

I'm also using a specialist local agency, but they've only sent me details of 2 candidates, both E European. Their refund / replacement policy is fine, as are the fees (£120 or so) but the choice is far more limited and other than asking the girls to fill in a form, and provide health and character references (which you could easily request yourself) they don't really add much value over the au pair world DIY service imo. you still have to contact and interview them all yourself.

Thanks for your reply BrummieOnTheRun. I'm considering wording a letter to give to the French and German secondary school teachers at ds and dd's school atm, thinking that they might have contacts in France and Germany. I've just taken a look at both the websites you mentioned. I've looked at about three or four but not those, so thanks. I've also considered the fact that there might be degree students coming to the nearby Uni who could fit the bill. For now, I'm going to carry on getting the spare bedroom ready and a separate shower into the family bathroom (the kids use the ensuite but obviously we need a proper shower for an au pair and we'd been meaning to do it for visitors anyway) whilst researching the au pair websites. I think I should open a folder with all the info in it, too. Good luck with your search and do let me know when you are successful.

Just doing this myself through au pair world. Worried about references and police checks through the DIY approach so last week signed up with www.aupairs-nannies.co.uk after a friend's recommendation.

Thanks, Q. Another site I haven't seen before!

gumtree is good to look for people, and greataupair.com is a good place to post an ad on, but be VERY specific and fussy about what you want otherwise you'll get a couple of hundred applications.

I am also a newbie in this area!

On the subject of police checks, are the agencies such as aupairs-nannys.co.uk providing such police checks as well as ordinary references?

Sorry - forgot to ask another question re. au pairs. I am a single parent and will have to do the occassional short haul business trip for 1 or 2 nights. My child is 10. If I employ an au-pair, I assume that they are allowed to stay with the child overnight without me?

I am happy to be up front about this requirement during interviews etc.

Any thoughts or knowledge on this appreciated.

Thanks.

I'm new to it all too, YB, but I'm finding that the breadth of experience of the girls varies dramatically. Many have just had family babysitting jobs, but others have done long au pair stints and others have childcare training.

There is a basic definition of what an Au Pair is/does, but no one seems to police it - anyone jump in and correct me on that??

Therefore if you agree beforehand, shouldn't be a problem. You just need to select carefully.

Hi Yellowbanana. Sorry, I don't know the answer to your questions.

As for thoughts regarding you being away overnight and leaving your child in the au pair's sole charge, I wouldn't be happy with that, personally. Presumably you don't have close friends and family locally or else you'd ask them, so you don't have a whole lot of choice. Sorry, I hope that doesn't make you overly concerned. I'm sure that plenty of other people would have the opposite view to me. I remember reading an article (must have either been a mag (Prima or She) or the Sat or Sun Times as they are all I read) about a childcare facility which was effectively a hotel for children whose parents were away from home overnight. I thought I'd mention it so that you knew that something like that existed. I'd rather ask a school friend's parents, personally. I know that I've had a friend of dd's stay overnight as a favour to the parents for this reason and I was happy to do it.

Good luck!

I've done a profile on the newaupair.com website. No cost so far, but would be if we needed to contact the au pair who so far has shown interest in us and us in her. I think I'd have to do the checks and stuff myself as all that website does (I think) is put the prospective au pair and prospective family in touch with each other if they register their interest using the website.

Hi Simply and Brummie

Thanks for your replies - your thoughts are much appreciated.

I do get my mum and ex- (father of child) to help out where/when I can. The ex- is currently not working, but is apparently looking for work which would restrict what he can/can't/won't do to assist.

The problem with being a single parent who works full time is that I am always getting favours from the other parents which I can't return in as much quantity! And so I feel guilty, etc. etc. about this and therefore am reluctant to ask.

As the daughter gets older this is going to be less of a problem in anycase.

Yellowbanana Sorry I haven't replied before.

I can absolutely understand BrummieOnTheRun being totally bored of it all.

Short update. Have signed up to newaupair website and have had 20 or so girls add us to their favourites. Two were really strong candidates and they found us first (surely a good sign) but one is likely to take the London job which offers more work for more money rather than working for us for 15 hours a week and in town (say in a shop or cafe) for the rest and the other one hasn't replied to our "Let's talk some more" e-mails for the last fortnight nor logged back onto the site! It is taking so many hours to spot suitable girls and add them to our Favourites and then for them not to either add us or respond with a "No thanks" via the site is very frustrating. May well go down the agency route.

Bumping to see if past or future posters wish to add anything. I am now 100% totally x 10 bored of it all.

Supposedly British girls can't write a sensible reply to "Why do you want to be an au pair". They put in their profile that London is in the US and don't spot their mistake. They say they are graduates but their writing is primary school level. French ones seem interested but only really until they get a similar offer from someone in London and they're off! I read on one website that au pairs hugely outnumber families, why then do most au pairs have 10 or more families interested in them?

Someone come and either sympathise with me or tell me that the right person is just around the corner. Please?

Can totally sympathise - we are trying to find au pairs using au pair world. Found some lovely sounding, very suitable ones, and sent them emails or the contact messages through the site. Do any of them reply? Do they buggery. Which I find quite rude. If you are putting your details on an employment website, then at least commit to answering people who are interested in you. Or don´t bother at all. TBH, if any of them emailed me now, I wouldn´t know what to do - a bit worried about exactly how serious they are about finding a job and being responsible in part for someone else´s children. AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

chocolatequeen Thanks for your post. I, too, think they should reply either using the site's "Thanks but no thanks" e-mail which involves clicking the appropriate button or by replying to the e-mail I've sent. I did have a reply after e-mailing a reminder to one this w/e and she is going to a family in London as is the other one we really hoped to have. The second one, though, is interested in taking me up on my suggestion that she contacts us when she has a spare fortnight sometime and she has suggested coming next summer, so we could be fixed up for then, possibly. I'm lucky, ds is 13 and dd is 12 so the child responsiblity bit doesn't feature much as I'd be home after school when they and she would be home. No idea what to suggest. Turn to drink or chocolate, perhaps!

I have had a reply e-mail from one of the au pairs I have written to! She is Romanian and her English is good. Not 100% perfect for us but I'm still hopeful. I've had to change my preferred nationalities from French/German/UK/Irish only to lots of others. Hey, ho. Wait and see. Now I've got to reply, of course. Hmmm. What to ask next and I need to answer her questions as fully as I can. I almost wish I'd totalled up the number of hours spent on this au pair business, even if it would freak me out.

I spent many hours on these a couple of years ago, it took over my life. I finally panicked and ended up with an ap from hell-the sites make complete no-hopers look much better than they are, and yes, most don't reply. If you get one, they spend lots of time on your PC until they find a better job, then leave-unless they are crap like mine, and then are very hard to get OUT of your house.

To be fair I had the same with real au pair agencies, the girls never answered the phone for their interview at the appointed time!

Thanks for your post majorstress. If it wasn't for others on here, I'd just think I was making it unnecessarily difficult for myself somehow. We've just bought a new PC and I was thinking of moving the one from the kitchen as ... well, I'm not sure really. It bugs me here but is very useful as I can see at a glance what people are doing on it. The tat surrounding it bugs me but I suppose that should be tidied up. The other pc is currently in the spare bedroom which would become the au pair's bedroom. I think we need to move that to somewhere else before our au pair (once we have one lined up) starts. It's a choice between having an au pair and me giving up work. We'll see how it goes. I don't want ones that say yes to here in order to have somewhere until they get a job in London which seems to be where they all want to go. Grrrr.

Bumping this.
Looking for our next au pair, au pair world is not exactly coming up with a lot of great choices now, unlike last time!

If anybody can recommend any DYI sites, or agencies I would appreciate it.

StarryStarryNight We are now waiting to hear back from the Romanian one. If she can provide us with references then I think we'll go with her. I'll bet you a pound to a penny that she'll get an offer from someone in London and go there instead, mind! I'm still on the newaupair website. I started writing a profile with another site but didn't complete it. I'll update this thread once I have a result. Good luck with your search.

Simplysparkling, newaupair is really not performing, I registered today after reading this thread, and the choice is not great, and many of the au pairs it puts forward has not logged in since MAY! So not actively searching.

Hi all,

Like simplysparkling, I thought I was just making life hard for myself - how hard can this be?? Very time consuming.

I was using aupairuk but had several last minute mind-changers also my 1st from there lasted 8 days (she was lucky I was being understanding, 8 hours was enough!)

I then tried Aupairworld, got loads of responses but I'm never quick enough to bag one and don't live in London!

We settled in desperation for a summer AP who is fantastic, a Finnish girl of 17 who contacted me. My age limit is 22, but her English was so good she was here within a week of first contact!

The kids adore her and will be heartbroken when she goes in 2 weeks (been here 7 already).

Ho hum, here we go hunting again...