MIL, DM and nursery minding DD- too much?

[Beckie1987]

Hi I am due to go back to work in 2 months (Dd will be 13 months) and I am starting to worry about the childcare situation.

My question is will passing my Dd between MIL, DM and nursery be too much for Dd and hinder her development? In terms of too many 'chefs', too many different parenting styles, no consistency with parenting technique, dd's diet going to pot etc...

I am going back 4 days per week (Tue-fri) my husband works away those 4 days too so I will be doing all drop offs. Mon and Tue my DM will have her she lives 30 mins away so I will stay over tue night and don't have to get her ready the next morning just go straight to work. Thursday nursery round the corner and Friday MIL round the corner.

Both grandparents will spoil her but will set some ground rules and MIL can be over bearing at times she can not wait for me to go to work. We can afford childcare but she is first grandchild on both sides so under pressure for parents to mind her.

I might be overthinking it! We are trying for baby number 2 so hoping it will only be for 6 months

I have a colleague whose dm minds her 2 dc one day , mil the next and a minder the other 3. It works perfectly. One added bonus is dm and mil have dinner for her on their evenings so no cooking which is helpful. Sounds lovely you can stay with your dm one night too. Go for it. It sounds like a good plan.

I doubt it would harm her development to be surrounded by GPs who love her and seems like a very 'raised by the village ' idyll to me. On a side note I am reading this with HUGE envy as we had to put both ours into full time nursery at 10 months as we have not a jot of grand parental support. How lovely both sets are so willing to help. My MIL is lovely but 'very busy enjoying her retirement' so has babysat twice in 7 years.

I have a friend who does this and her little boy seems happy, emotionally secure and on track with his development so I think it's a good thing

We do this but add in a 4th as my grandma also does a day. My little girl is really close to all of them and handles the change really well. Development wise her social skills are really good and I credit it to everyone playing different games with her and talking to her non stop. I do think she could benefit from more routine and consistency with naps though.

How lovely to have the support. Only thing I can think is that nurseries tend to like the children to do more than 1 day a week. In fact the nursery my DS attended have a minimum of 2 day attendance a week.
My goddaughter started doing 1 day and struggled to make strong friendships and bonds with staff. Her mum ended up removing her and cutting her hours at work.

Stop worrying and start counting your blessings.

I was raised like this. Days with both grandmas, ab afternoon with my aunt. It was great I grew up secure and loved in a big extended family

I think she will love it. You're really lucky to have so many options 

Thanks everyone I feel more at ease now! I'm clearly worrying over nothing and over thinking it as per

Sounds lovely, however for the first few months it's probably worth putting her in nursery for a short morning session on on of your mum's days, to help her settle in.

DD's nursery have mentioned to me that they find that children on only 1 day a week find it harder to settle in so I would say it would be better to have nursery 2 days a week.

We did this but 3 days nursery, 1 day DM and one day MIL. She is 4 now and has a great relationship with grandparents.

My dd had a day with me, a day with mil, a day with my mum, 2 days at nursery and Saturday with her dad. She was fine.

Ohlittlepea my mum lives quite far from the nursery and doesn't drive so half days wouldn't be an issue but if my mum struggles or dd struggles with the 1 day in nursery I'll reduce dms days to 1 and increase nursery to 2