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CM CLUB - My 1:1 baby - I'm giving advice to mum atm and could really do with your help................

7 replies

looneytune · 14/06/2007 11:56

A lot of you know that quite often I have a nightmare with the baby I look after on a 1:1 basis. I've had her since she was 8 weeks old, she's now 4 months old. I would have given notice by now if I wasn't being paid double, as it definitely stops me being able to look after everyone else (including myself). BUT, as it's just us 2 til 12.45, I've just done as mum asks and rocked to sleep etc etc.

Anyway, mum is getting really down and fed up with having to ALWAYS get baby to sleep before she can put her down. Her dh is REALLY fed up and doesn't agree with all this rocking all the time (rocking in arms, rocking chair with foot, pram back and forth, having to constantly look in her eyes as if you move your eyes, she cries etc etc) and because he has 2 older kids from another relationship, he's not so worried about leaving her crying.

So, mum's fed up and shouts at baby and then gets upset but it's all the having to constantly settle her that stressing her out.

Anyone got any suggestions for a way to bit by bit break this cycle? At my house, baby will fall asleep on playgym and quite often falls asleep if I pretend to be asleep. She won't do this at home and I'm wondering whether it's because she's so used to mum rocking her all the time.

Any advice? Sorry if that doesn't make much sense or comes across bad - baby been screaming in my ear for nearly and hour so hard to type

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
lunavix · 14/06/2007 12:39

You need to sit down with the mum, kid free if possible, and say:

this isn't working, for you, and possibly for parents (if you know that they'd appreciate that iykwim some don't like you assuming that)

If mum agrees getting baby to sleep before putting down isn't working, then suggest that baby is swaddled etc, and then put down, and then checked on/given dummy if used, etc etc until learns to fall asleep on own.

It's different to being paid for 1:1, that you won't cuddle the baby all the time. (btw how do you do 1:1 with your ds??)

If all three adults know it's not working, it's time to make a change. Maybe suggest she reads a few books (the only that we're not allowed to mention on here, plus the baby whisperer etc etc) and see if she can pick up tips? Not to follow the routines but just pick up ideas on settling.

fransmom · 14/06/2007 12:45

ah, but we can now, just not nasty stuff.

has the baby got colic?

looneytune · 14/06/2007 13:08

A child free chat is very difficult to organise but we're emailing each other atm so was going to continue my advice that way as it's what works best for us. I will suggest what you say but isn't she a bit old for swaddling? She's been very active since birth and chews her feet and everything so isn't she going to feel a bit restricted? Sorry, I've never done it myself so not sure.

Must go and make something to eat as just got in and she's quiet at the mo so making the most of it before we have to leave again in just over an hour

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looneytune · 14/06/2007 13:14

Not colic but does seem to have digestive discomfort at times HOWEVER this is like today's cries (VERY bad) whereas she'd not got bad tummy, it's just an attention thing as she's much better with me.

I must stop calling it a 1:1 thing as it isn't. I feel so sorry for my poor ds as it really affects him too It's just that it's 1:1 all morning. I need to have a chat about all this double pay and what they expect anyway as it started off being (once they didn't just want adhoc care) just til May and then they thought they'd have to move on. Then they decided it might be til Dec and now they are talking about keeping me on all the time and the extra days I can't do, they'd use a nursery as they definitely want to keep me. I think I need a whole new thread for that though

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lunavix · 14/06/2007 13:15

I think I swaddled dd until 6 months?

I may be wrong though!

It's just about habits really. If everyone knows that this rocking is a problem, then combat it by just not doing it again. Explain she can be comforted when put down by stroking her face, tucking her in, favourite toy etc etc and it's in her benefit to fall asleep on her own.

madge7 · 14/06/2007 13:28

Hi Looney,

Just a thought my littly thats here today was always a bit of a nightmare when she was small, needs rocking, walking etc, until we thought of a comforter. She takes Panda everywhere now, not so much during the day, but its her buddy and when she was waking up in the night, she went back off herself as she had panda, her Mum said in the night, she heard on the monitor a cry, then huhhh, pannnnnda! and she went off again??

Just an idea?

looneytune · 14/06/2007 13:35

Cheers for the ideas

I'm just going to start a new thread about the way I'm paid and what's expected etc etc as Lunavix has made me think now

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