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Nanny was fuming last night! Kids been badly behaved!!

73 replies

ziopin · 14/06/2007 09:36

I got home last night to see a very stone faced nanny!

My kids (4 & 2) were sat quietly by the table looking very guilty!

My nanny being 32 weeks pregnant was complaining that the children were really badly behaved during the day, not listening to her etc.

My two year old son had been saying that he would hit her (he didn't by the way!) and my daughter (who is going through a real cow stage) would not listen to her in play group.

She was saying that she would not tolerate such behaviour, and was being really mean. I do admit that my kids are no angels, but its difficult to listen to others putting them down!

I completely lost patients within 10 minutes, my kids were crying, and I told nanny to just go home, must admit I was a bit cross but I dont think she realised it.

Later in the evening I read through the daily diary. She wrote dd's behaviour was terrible, we left as she spoilt it for everyone again!

I'm bloody livid!

OP posts:
PinkChick · 14/06/2007 10:54

i thinkn she needs a break by the sound of it som maybe even a feww days off paid soon?

fifilou · 14/06/2007 10:58

blimey, a week or two on full pay!? Yes thats great for the nanny, but poor bounder, whats she to do for childcare? It would cost her double for nothing!

fifilou · 14/06/2007 10:58

oops not bounder- ziopin, sorry!

Eleusis · 14/06/2007 11:04

I wouldn't offer her paid time off. Simply not in the budget. This may just be a matter of talking to her and she will see that she needs bite her tongue and be happy and positive.

I think she is getting too much sympathy here for her pregnancy. Lots of us go to work when pregnant and manage to do our jobs. It isn't always easy, but we manage.

WanderingTrolley · 14/06/2007 11:08

Nanny is hormonal and gone mad. Totally out of order.

In normal circs it would be a different matter, but at least she'll be gone in a few weeks.

I would explain to the children that she's feeling very tired at the moment and that's why she's a bit snappy at the mo, and that it isn't their fault.

Tell the nanny to go easy on the kids because they are a bit fragile and fractious at the moment, because she's leaving.

Imagine her in a few years' time 'not tolerating' her own kids' behaviour and pysl.

morningpaper · 14/06/2007 11:15

Eleusis lots of us go to work while pregnant so that we DON'T have to look after small children, which is 100X the most difficult job in the world when you are up the duff IMO

I just sit at a desk and have people bring me coffee and if I'm tired I piss around on the internet

I'm sure the nanny would like to swap

Eleusis · 14/06/2007 11:48

Yes, but nannying isn't the only non-desk job around. I just don't think being pregnant justifies the way she is talking to a 2 and 4 year old.

This morning, my 2 year old DS walked by my 4 year old DD put his arm out, smacked her on the forehead and kept walking walking. It was like a 3 stooges moment. Of course, I told him to go apologise (and he did) but I didn't make a big deal because in my mind that is normal behaviour for 2 year old.

Nanny is not conducting herself professionally. That is the point of the thread. It is possible to keep working. But, if SHE feels she doesn't want to then by all means she can start her maternity leave, just like any other employee. I do not think it wants a free week off -- paid. Ziopin will then have to pay someone else to do her job, and that's not fair to her.

BrothelSprouts · 14/06/2007 11:54

Nanny sounds horrid.
It is not the fault of Ziopin's very young children if their nanny is pregnant and exhausted.
She sounds very unprofessional, and very negative.
People manage to carry on their jobs whilst pregnant without behaving like this - and tbh it doesn't sound like she is over-worked.

GameGirly · 14/06/2007 11:57

Ziopin, how do your LOs feel about the nanny leaving? I guess you have the summer holidays to get them used to the idea. Is she planning on coming back to you eventually?
Poor you, you've had to go to work with that discord hanging over your head. Anything that involves the well-being or happiness of your children hangs over your head all day, doesn't it?

ziopin · 14/06/2007 11:57

I'll have to speak to her.

I'd like it if she could stay until the end of the school term, but if she feels that she would like to leave erlier, then so be it. (I wont recommend this though!)

I cant afford to pay her to take a week off(although she probaly needs it!) but I may ask my Mum if she could help out a little during the next 5 weeks. That should ease her burden!

I've managed to sort out a nanny for September, current nanny wants to come back to work with her new baby. Is this gonna work?

OP posts:
LaBoheme · 14/06/2007 11:59

Poor Nanny give her a bit of slack she is probably just hormonal

BrothelSprouts · 14/06/2007 12:00

I suppose it comes down to whether you feel she will behave in a professional and calm way with your children, and not put the needs of her own child above the needs of your own children.

ziopin · 14/06/2007 12:03

Once current nanny is back working with us and her new baby, would I be in a position to let her go if I didn't feel it was working out. Would this be fair and legal?

Should I draft a new contract of employment for her?

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 14/06/2007 12:03

I would sit down with nanny and have a sympathetic chat, but nevertheless explain that whilst you understand that coping with a 4 and 2 year old whilst heavily pg is challenging, she is the adult and you expect her to control herself. Then have a chat with her and the kids together and agree that everyone is going to wipe the slate clean and make a new start, be friends, etc. Sounds like she could do with a bit of support from you and the children (at least the 4 year old) could do with understanding that they need to be nice because she might be tired. Bit of an effort on both sides to get through the last few weeks...

BrothelSprouts · 14/06/2007 12:04

How will you take into account the fact that she will also be looking after her own child too?
Will the hours and pay be the same?

Mumpbump · 14/06/2007 12:04

There was a thread about a nanny returning to work with her own child and I think the general consensus was that you can say you don't want her bringing her own child in which case she'll probably quit.

Eleusis · 14/06/2007 12:06

"I've managed to sort out a nanny for September, current nanny wants to come back to work with her new baby. Is this gonna work? "

WEll, she doesn't seem to be coping very well with two. Not sure I'd be very confident about adding a newborn to the mix.

I would definately expect a pay decrease if the baby comes with. If I had any doubts, I'd probably tell her the baby is not coming.....

Is this nanny who wants everything in writing so she can go visit CAB? Or am I confusing you with someone else?

morningpaper · 14/06/2007 12:07

So the plan is that she will return to work with her baby, when her baby is 2 months old? It seems a bit optimistic.

Good idea asking your mum to help out

mozhe · 14/06/2007 12:08

Can you take her out in the next couple of days,( away from DCs...for a pizza/nice leisurely a pre-mat leave review/handover or whatever..), and in a v.sensitive way ' lay-the-law-down ' about how you want her to speak with DCs etc...Sympathize loads, talk about her new baby and how she is going to handle the three etc....Btw is she qualified ? maybe hasn't thought much about the psychology of the job if she isn't.....some reading,( interesting anyway when you are about to become a mum..), about the psychological aspects of caring for children could be a 'helpful' mat.leave prezzie...

Eleusis · 14/06/2007 12:11

Oh, your mum sis around. I wouldn't mind paying her to have a bit of a rest if I had a mum around to pick up the slack for free. Maybe you could even schedule it. Like ask your mum to come round from 2:00 - 4:00 each day so nanny can put her feet up. If your mum is willing -- mine wouldn't be.

Oh, I've searced and this IS the nanny who wants to run off to CAB to see if you are giving her a fair deal. Get rid of her. There are so many lovely nanies around. She is not one of them.

Eleusis · 14/06/2007 12:12

Mohze, that is a fab idea. Definitely do that, even if it only buys you the five weeks you want her to keep working.

toomuchtodo · 14/06/2007 12:28

whats that about this nanny running off to CAB??

info! please!

ziopin · 14/06/2007 12:33

Yes this is the sam CAB nanny. TBH I've sort of had enough. This nanny has so much baggage!!

I have told her that she could come back with new baby at the end of her maternity leave, but I told her this right at the start of her pregnancy. I now feel this is completely unrealistic, but I dont wont to tell her just before she goes on ML.

Could I wait until she is due back (a few weeks before) and tell her that I dont want her to bring the baby. Am I right to think that she is still entitles to her job back, but without the baby. She would probable leave. Oh that sounds horrible, I'm finding this really difficult!

OP posts:
Eleusis · 14/06/2007 12:33

thread here

NKF · 14/06/2007 12:36

I would have thought that bringing a baby meant re-drafting the contract. And personally, I would only do it for a nanny that the children adored, someone I was really keen not to lose.

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