I’m pregnant - when to tell the childminder?

[ChocolateChipMuffin2016]

I have a DS aged 2. He’s been going to a Childminder 3 days a week since he was 10 months and she is amazing, totally love her (as does my son!). I’m 13 weeks pregnant with DC2, so fairly early but when I’m on mat leave we definitely won’t be able to afford childcare. I want to let her know as I want to give her as much notice as possible and I don’t want to screw her over but am wondering if I should wait. The notice period on the contract is a month but I don’t think that’s enough.
If you are a Childminder what sort of notice would you want? We’re 100% happy with her and if she had space we would love for both DC to go to her when I go back to work but I know we couldn’t expect her to keep a space for us.
Any advice would be appreciated.

I'd expect the amount of time stated on the contract. It depends on your area, but where I am most of the childminders have waiting lists, so a month is more than enough to fill a vacant place.

I'm sure your childminder is lovely and wouldn't do this but there is a danger if you give too much notice and she's approached by someone wanting more hours, she could decide to give YOU notice, knowing your child will be leaving in a few months anyway.

It does happen.

@Rhiannon13 that’s a really good point, thank you. I’d like to think she wouldn’t do that but she does have a business to run after all. I’ll keep that in mind.

I'm a cminder and would be quite disappointed if a good client left it so late unless they were genuinely undecided about whether to keep me or not. A month is nothing to replace an early years space to fit especially if that falls over Christmas or summer holidays. Contractually 1 month is absolutely correct and I wouldn't expect more for other reasons, but given you know about a baby for 9 months it just seems a bit mean to hold off until the last minute when she could be busy turning away enquiries.

Congratulations. I'm a childminder and as much notice as possible is really helpful with planning work for the future. Surely she will notice you are pregnant well before you reach your 1 month notice period.
I'd never give early notice for a mindee in this situation. Obviously that doesn't mean some people wouldn't though. You must know your minder well by now to know how she's likely to be.
It probably won't be that much of a surprise to her. Age 2 is quite a common age for new babies to be announced.

I think at a certain point she’d guess you’re pregnant surely so it’s better to tell her before she guesses as that could effect the trust between you if you’d like to try and use her again in the future. Obviously you could tell her you’re pregnant then say you don’t know what you’ll do about childcare but it doesn’t seem right to blatantly lie.
How far will your DS be from 3 when your baby is born? If it’s not long could you see if you reduce his hours a bit then at 3 use the free funded hours (assuming your CM offers those). It’d give you a bit of one on one time with the baby that way/

I told my childminder when I was 16 weeks basically as I was getting lots of observations and she was an enormous help to us all. We worked out a notice period as per the contract but she had months and months notice really

Thank you all, she probably wouldn’t find out as DH does the drop off and pick up, but I don’t really want to keep it from her. We do have a good relationship and I feel awkward keeping it from her.
DS will be 3 years and 2 months when I plan to return to work but due to his birthday would only just be entitled to the free hours (may have planned baby’s birth for this reason ).
I think I’ll wait another few weeks (16-20 weeks preg) and let her know.
Thank you all for your help.

I was in a similar situation when pregnant with my youngest. We told the childminder straight away after the first scan. To me, it's polite to give as much notice as possible. We also wanted to keep a decent relationship in case we wanted to use her again after youngest was born. As it turned out we didn't need her and she was happy to keep us on until after I had youngest.

Just a quick note, one of my parents told me they would still get paid their childcare vouchers when they were on maternity so she wished she’d signed up to them as them her son could have still came to me when she was on maternity. Something to look into maybe?

1 thing I would say is my sis in law was in exactly the same position and so that my newphew didn't get out of the routine of going they still paid for him to go a day a week which gave SIL a day with the new baby to go to a baby group minus toddler and have some bonding time.

She said it was well worth the money and it kept her child in routine and the childminder happy

Just a thought

I’d be quite hurt if you didn’t tell me tbh. I hope you would have enough trust me that I wouldn’t give you notice if something else came along and I’d be hurt you didn’t think enough of my business to give me enough time to fill my place. Childminders do not have waiting lists where I am and there are very few enquiries going round and some of the parents I get asking are wanting care to start in a few months time (someone has asked about Easter starting) so would be perfect to fill your space.

Also, keep in mind your 2 year old will be talking to his childminder. He may well mention baby.
It would be pretty hurtful to be trusted with the care of your child but not trusted to be told about a new baby being due.

Thank you all for your advice. I agree that she might be hurt and I don’t want to do that. TBH, if I was doing the drop off and pick up then I might have already told her but i know my DH is a bit awkward telling her and I think it’s more of a face to face thing. I don’t think she has a waiting list atm, so don’t want to mess up her income and our relationship. I think I will definitely tell her soon.

I would want to be told as soon as possible. You are quite right that 1 month isn’t really enough time to find and settle in a new child.

What I would do for you, assuming you were hoping to return after maternity leave, is to either agree to reduce hours or, if you really were unable to afford even that, I’d try to slot you in for free if I could, in order to keep that continuity going.
That’s why I’d hope for as much notice and honesty as you could give me.
I’d much rather keep a lovely family on my books.

We’re always saying "stick to the contract". So if the contract says a month's notice, then a month's notice is what she agreed and all sh3 can reasonably expect.

In all honesty you are not responsible for your CM's feelings if she then regrets contracting to a month’s notice.

Giving her more notice would be 'nice' ....... and concealing the pregnancy might prove rather harder than you think at the moment. But, sadly, you wouldn’t be the first to have this sort of kind gesture backfire on you. If you choose to give her more of a 'heads up', there’d be nothing to stop the CM finding a replacement and giving you notice somewhat sooner than is convenient.

However it is worth considering if you might need her again in the future, and act accordingly if you think she might be a bit touchy.

My parents have all told me after the first scan. Advice here is correct though, that she could give you a months notice at any time.

@Rhiannon13 has a good point as one of my children drop from 7-6pm to 9-3pm and I fitted a school child around her hours.

I would tell her soon if you want it to come from you!
I think parents don't realise how much kids talk!
I get told so much about the parents that I'm sure they don't realise. All normal stuff mind, like parents having an argument (totally normal) but yes if 2 year old knows about baby, I'm sure that the child minder will have an incline!

Parents usually tell me around 3 months. Most have chosen to keep their child coming at least one session a week to keep some continuity, I then look for fill in work so that the family can come back when ready.