CM CLUB More advice please

[OFSTEDoutstanding]

Have just come back from local cm group and today was the first day of going. It was ok but am slightly worried about something I saw there one of the people I know from my Friday toddlers has a son with a cm rest of the week this cm was there and completely ignored the little boy and just plonked him in the buggy when he started crying. Also told him off for taking off his shoes and socks (he is 1) and when he started crying in the goup she said here he goes again he really is a crier. Am worried about what tyo do my friend will ask me on Fri how I got on today and will ask if I saw her ds do I say ok and not mention anything about her cm or tell her. By the way reason I don't look after friend ds is don't have space so not asking this to try to get extra business

tricky one
your freind would be devestated to find this info out maybe ask your friend how her ds is with the cm. is he happy to go or does he cry.
not very professional but maybe cm was having an off day or maybe friends ds is very upset on a monday/tuesday after having his parents around all the time

Problem is I know my friend has had some reservations about cm in the past, including way she cares for him, so she is bound to ask how she is with him.
This child is normally very smiley when I see him on a Fri and not at all clingy to mum, he has been going to cm since Easter so since he was 7mth

This is really difficult.

Like Dmo says, she could have been just having an off day, but it was a pretty big off day. If she treats him like this in public dare i even think what happens whem alone?

I think you should mention something like 'he seemed a little out of sorts when i saw him, i think the chilminder was having a hard time?'

Go with your head my lovely, it will eat at you until you do something.

Thankd fifilou I know it will in fact have just got back from another toddler group and all I could think about was him this morning. The thing that I don't understand is when she said he is a screamer and cries all the time. He never cries when I see him on a Friday and no it isn;t because he is clinging to his mum the whole time

bump

I would be honest and say it as you saw it. After all, you are a friend and if your friend finds you have mislead her about something, they may not remain your friend.

When attending any group, a childminder must provide suitable care for the children. Everyone works differently so what is a suitable standard of care for one person, may differ from someone else. Therefore, as long as no regulations were breached, you should not judge the other CM.

If/When your friend asks, then I feel you need to tell them:
Yes you saw her DS and his CM.
You saw him get told off for taking his shoes and socks off, and he cried, and he was put in his buggy.

Those would be FACTS, rather than your view. While he may have been ignored, without the full facts, it is only your view that he was being ignored, so miss that out, unless you have facts to go with it. For example, N was left on his own for x minutes.

Am with Nanny Nick, sounds good to me, defo the facts, you are not telling anything but the truth. Very difficult though! M XX

Thanks for the advice was definitely going to stick to the factsn and not opinion as like I have already said Idon't want her thinking I am causing trouble for no reason. Problem is He was ignored he was left in buggy in corner for 15 mins when they first arrived while cm went and had a chat then after he cried was put back in buggy for rest of session (about 1/2 hour. The buggy was in a corner away from everyone else and the chairs were laid outso every one sat facing opposite way to buggy.) I wouldn't class it as ignoring if the buggy had been pushed over to join the rest of the group but it wasn't. Does this sound like ignoring to you or am I just overreacting?

This is a difficult one, but do agree with nannynick that you have to just repeat what you saw, and not your opinions.

Your friend would be devestated if you said nothing, but you may not be thanked for giving your personal opinion.

I take my mindee's to a toddler group where I know mindee1's mum's friends are (if that makes sense). I have to admit that I worry that anything I say or do may be reported back to her, cause even though I am confident that I am doing a good job (and mindee1 is clearly happy with me), there is always the chance that things may be misinterpreted, or there may be a case of chinese whispers (if you remember that game ).

Ok Star thanks I am going to toddlerstomorrow and I have decided that I will not say anything unless I am asked if I wenton Wednesday and if I sawher ds if she asks I will say yes and if she asks how he was I will say not really his usual self he seemed a bit upset and then explain more if she asks What do you think?

Hi outstanding!

Did you say anything to the mum about what you had seen? Cause am sure that she would have asked (I know I would and am sure that my mindee's mum does, it is only natural).

She wasn't there today got my self all psyched up for nothing. Am quite pleased really because now I can go back to the group on Wed and hopefully the cm will act totally different. Hopefully she was just having an off week. Will keep you posted on Wednesday. Thanks for asking