DH just suggested using a babysitter who is 13 - is this too young?

[TheBlonde]

DH just suggested using a babysitter who is 13 - is this too young?

This is for an afternoon & evening

yes

yes

yes, def.

YES. one thing if they are asleep and you are nearby, but quite another to be looking after them and presumably putting them to bed?

Hmm. My dd1 is 12 (and a very responsible and child-experienced 12).

She is allowed to babysit my younger two for short periods (up to an hour or so) while either dh or I are somewhere relatively near and reachable and the younger two have been put to bed. She can be trusted to supervise awake children for short periods, but again only when someone is nearby. She has babysat my neighbours sleeping baby for similarly short periods, but crucially only when dh and I are literally next door.

Tbh I don't think a child that age would have the maturity to know how to react in an emergency, or to be able to foresee problems and avoid them.

For an afternoon and an evening? No way, tbh, and I'm pretty slack in the parental neurosis dept.

yes, too young to give her the responsibility

no fair on her or the kids

frogs, i think your own dd babysitting for you, is a bit different.

my frined has the most amazingly mature daughter. we let her babysit from 15. if my girls had been older when she was 14, i mightve let her then. but only might.

Of course it's different, noonar, that's my point. These are children she knows really well, and I'd still only leave her in charge for short periods with one of us easily reachable.

Somebody else's 13yo, whose maturity I can't vouch for, and who isn't familiar with my children and their little ways? No way.

It is worth remembering that if anything happens and you have left your child with an under16 then you are still legally responsible.

Depends.

Our babysitter is 13 (and she was 12 when she started sitting for us).

She lives 2 doors away, is a mature and responsible eldest sibling of three (and her youngest sibling is the same age as my eldest and consequently she knows both my sons really well and they love her) and most importantly her mother is a nurse and always makes sure she's in whenever our babysitter is at ours.

So effectively, there's a nurse within hollering distance if she gets out of her depth (which she never has).

Although I babysat at that age, I wouldn't let a 13yo babysit for DD. I think it is too young. I'd want someone 16 years plus I think.

I think its too young but that is my opinion!
I dont think it is a sensible responsible age

How old are your DCs, TheBlonde?

I used a 12 or 13-year-old, when we were on holiday. But her parents (both GPs!) were nearby, and both my kids were asleep. Oh, and she had a younger brother who was a bit younger than my DS1, so she wsa experienced.

Babysitter would be looking after our 2 year old in a hotel room (abroad).
I think she is the hotel owners daughter but I'm not sure. DH mentioned a 17 year old as well so I said I wanted the older one if possible.

Hmm... I personally wouldn't want an unknown 13 year old babysitting them. And my two are 6 and 3.

Wouldn't be too keen on that scenario, tbh.
If it was a 13yo who was already known to the family, and who was very responsible, I would consider it.

Eeeeeeeeeeek! yes, 13 is too young. Although saying that, I babysat for my nextdoor neighbours from aged 13. They had a 2 year old at the time.but they knew me well, and my parents were only next door if i needed them in an emergency.

Ah, interesting thread as I have a 13 year old ds and a 7 year old ds who will be soon be 8. The 13 years of never having a family member to babysit, apart from dh, should soon be drawing to an end.

To be honest, using my own personal judgement, I would feel fine about my oldest son looking after my youngest for an hour or so in the evenings if dh and I were just round the corner. Even more so if ds2 was in bed. As long as both boys were happy to loll around and watch a dvd (this would depend on circumstances and mood), I'd happily leave them. We have lots of friendly neighbours as well.

We have a neighbourhood pub within 5 mintues walk of the house. Night after night I am here with both boys, while dh wanders off for an inpromptu drink or two in the company of our mutual friends there. I am the only woman in this circle of friends who has children of my sons' age. The rest are childless or have older children so have no babysitting commitments.

I cannot join them much as I'd like to unless dh comes home or we pay a babysitter.

Although I would feel fine about leaving ds1 in charge, AFAIK legally he is still just that bit too young to babysit. He needs to be 14 years old I am told. As all our pub friends know ds1 is 13, and many of them are teachers so very up on childcare issues, I am trapped!

And I can't tell you how I inwardly seeth when one of them (a teacher with loads of extended family to help out) tells me (as she is prone to do at the very mention of my son babysitting)that she would never have left her oldest dd in charge of the younger ones - never ever did this, even when the oldest was 18 years old. She thinks it's unfair to heap responsiblity on the oldest. All so well and good if you have many other free babysitting options, as she did....

frogs, i think your own dd babysitting for you, is a bit different.

my frined has the most amazingly mature daughter. we let her babysit from 15. if my girls had been older when she was 14, i mightve let her then. but only might.

way too young.

i wouldn't with my kids, far too young

I would say yes, 13 is too young. However, being a certain age doesn't make someone responsible enough. Some 16 year olds wouldn't have a clue what to do if a baby wakes up/is ill/there's a fire etc etc. It's a case of finding someone with common sense who you can trust, not necessarily someone of a particular age.