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CM Club - Who babysits for you???

16 replies

star1976 · 10/06/2007 12:55

Moved 230 miles to be with DP 18 months ago, so know noone in the area really.

We rely on MIL for babysitting but she isn't always keen and currently we are lucky if we get a night out together once every few months.

Now it wouldn't bother me so much if I had a social life of my own, but I don't! DP goes out with his friends and I seem to spend EVERY night sat in front of the TV either with or without DP.

Nights made a little more bearable by a bottle of wine and comfort eating, so am piling on loads of weight which is starting to really get me down! I need a life!!!!!!

Any ideas????? Do you all have family and friends that babysit for you?

OP posts:
Roskva · 10/06/2007 13:32

My family lives 500 miles away and dh's are in the USA. A couple of my neighbours will babysit for me, as will the teenage daughter of a friend. If anyone you feel comfortable leaving your little ones with offers, say 'yes please', or ask them if they would be able to help. It sounds like your dp should return the favour, too - it wouldn't hurt him to babysit occasionally, especially as he goes out a lot. My dh works away during the week at the moment, so I know how lonely evenings can be.

star1976 · 10/06/2007 13:51

My DP will have the kids if I want to go out, but I just have noone to go out with!!!!

It is really getting me down. I don't wish I had never moved here, but really miss my social life there (it wasn't fantstic but at least I had one) and having my parents and aunt and sisters to babysit for me!

What would we do without mumsnet to chat on???

OP posts:
Roskva · 10/06/2007 14:04

Probably go completely round the bend... My social life tends to be day time - play groups, lunch with friends (and dd), etc. It does help my sanity that living in a small place, I can always find someone to chat to when I go to the shops!

looneytune · 10/06/2007 14:04

I'm the same. We used to live up north and moved down here when I was 14. First my parents moved back up north when ds was 3 months old, my db is currently travelling Australia (left in Dec) and my sister has also moved away. Dh is now only in touch with his sister but she's also far away. Have one person who I ask to babysit if I really need to, everyone else always says 'oh, you should get out, i'll have ds' but when you ask, they can never do it and I now feel like they just say that to be polite. So we never go out! Horrible isn't it!

Roskva · 10/06/2007 14:09

That sounds grim. I have to say, the thing I find hardest is that going out is like a preparing a military campaign: collect up dd's food, nappies, etc, trog everything off to the car, which I have to park 1/4 mile from the house or pay a fortune. And it's little things that sometimes get to me, like dd has to come with me even for silly things like taking the paper and stuff to the recycling bank, and on all dog walks, even if it's chucking it down (we have no garden to speak of). But then I look at her smiley little face and know it's all worth it.

maximummummy · 10/06/2007 14:34

star1976 - where do you live ? maybe there is a c/minder or nanny/aupair who would be happy to babysit OR your dp could babysit while you go to an evening class where you'd meet new people and even if you didn't hit it off with anyone at least you'd be out doing something you enjoyed.

star1976 · 10/06/2007 15:10

I go to playgroups and library and shops and everything with DS and mindee's, and was really hoping to meet people and make some friends there. That kind of group meeting isn't really 'me' and can only do it cause I see it as part of my job, but I do try to talk to people and join in.

Currently doing DHC course one night a week which I thought would be a good way to meet people, but everyone else on the course knows each other and are all in their little groups. I am too shy to try and join in to be honest (pathetic I know, I am a grown woman after all).

I live in Orpington which (for those who don't know) is part of the London Borough of Bromley. I know that there is a huge childminding community here, but I just can't seem to make myself a part of it!

Really never thought that I would be this lonely when I moved. Feel as though I have noone to talk to about anything and cause I never go anywhere apart from with the hoard of (delightful) children, feel like I am slowly going insane.

Was thinking of joining a Slimming World Group, but typically the only local one is on a night when I work till later and so wouldn't be able to go.

How do you and your DP cope with not going out together often Looney? Do you make an effort at home to do something other than watch TV???

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looneytune · 10/06/2007 15:21

How do we cope - we plod along but feel very much like we need to get out! We wanted to attend relate over a year ago but it was sooooo hard to get someone for the first appointment, we couldn't go back. We don't really make an effort, we just watch tv in the evening and I tend to work. Daytime working with the kids like you, finish at 6.30, mad clean up, ds to bed then crash on the sofa but I usually am doing some kind of work on my lap. Every weekend I'm working (cleaning, paperwork, websites etc) so it feels like ALL WORK, NO PLAY

nannynick · 10/06/2007 15:46

So would you not consider using a national agency?

Over on the parenting board, I've asked a question about babysitters, some people seem seem happy to use a babysitter they have never met .

looneytune · 10/06/2007 15:58

Just posted on your other thread

star1976 · 10/06/2007 17:49

Don't think I would use an agency no. Couldn't leave LO's with someone I didn't know.

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 10/06/2007 19:50

Looney your ds could come and stay with us if you want night out.

star1976 · 10/06/2007 20:38

I'd jump at the chance if I were you looney

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 10/06/2007 21:37

it wont be on offer for long!!!

looneytune · 11/06/2007 10:44

oh no, i'm too late

fifilou · 11/06/2007 14:23



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