Should we bring the au pair with us?

[christmastreewithhairyfairy]

We are new to the AP thing (so please go easy!) and don't yet know what is expected or considered fair. We've just had a lovely 18yo arrive - all well and good so far and I have tried hard to make it clear she's part of the family. But now we have a quandry:

For our DCs birthdays my parents want to buy them a legoland trip. They have found a package where you get 2 days with an overnight stay in a themed family room. They hadn't thought about AP though and I have just raised it. It seems our options are:

• All 5 of of us squeeze into the family room - everyone would have a bed though I feel a bit weird staying in the same room as an 18 year old we've just met. Also we'd have to sneak her in as you are only allowed to book this for 2 adults and 3 children, and we'd also have to pay for a separate 2 day adult park entry.
• pay for her to have her own room in the same hotel. It would also be a family room so a few hundred £. I don't feel comfortable asking my parents to shell out for this and we also don't really have enough cash for this ourselves at the moment.
• put her in a different, cheaper hotel nearby.
• tell her we are going away without her and she has 2 days off. Seems mean though!

WWYD?

I think taking her is a lovely idea and something you can plan to do on future occasions as in this case it seems really impractical. Just give her a few days off

I am shocked that you would consider sneaking her in and then expect her to share a room with you all? Please do not even suggest it as an option.

Your parents are offering this - you do not need to take the AP with you. Just tell her she will have those days off. You will make yourselves social pariahs if you drag an ap along every time you are invited anywhere by others. We invite our AP if we are organising something for our family but no if we are invited by others (family, friends etc) in the same way as you don't expect the AP to invite you to join her social life.

Just pay her for the 2 days off and be done with it i doubt she would want to go and it would suck for her to be down money because you choose to go on a holiday.

When I was an au pair the family went on holiday for 3 weeks. I spent one week painting their house and two weeks au pairing for another family in a different city (friend of a friend of "my" family). I loved my family (we are still good friends 30 years on) but i did not want to go on holiday with them and was quite happy to stay home, although they did invite me so it was ultimately my choice.

If you feel guilty about leaving her alone, why not treat her to a spa day somewhere local? The house to herself and a massage would be heaven for an 18 year old!!

give her the days off.