AIBU? Noise at childminder and concentration

[OperaPanda]

Hi, I'm a FTM and probably unreasonable but I'd like to get people's opinions.

I think I've found a great childminder. She's warm and friendly, cooks fresh foods and has very few kids. My daughter (9months) will be the youngest there and I'm pretty sure she'll receive a lot of attention. But I did a settling in session today and a few things have unsettled me.

Basically, I'm a single child and my daughter is my first so our life is quiet. I'm a bit old fashioned but I'm happy it is that way. People often comment on how calm and focused she is and encouraging this is a priority for me. I was the type of child who could sit down with a book for an hour aged three and, if ever she's the same, I'd like to help her grow that way as I think it's a great skill to have nowadays. Also have time to think, be bored, be in your world.

Now, within twenty minutes of us being here, the childminder put her in a room with two other kids, turned on a light show and put nursery rhymes so loud that I started getting a headache. Kids were encouraged to "play" instruments but were just banging stuff around. My daughter started screaming and was hard to calm down. It was clearly too much for her. Now, the childminder said she'd get used to it and I'm sure she will. But I'm not sure I want her to!! In my book, you either play (but learn not to bang stuff too much) or sing along but not two at the same time or at least not with music to the max and not with a light show on top.
When she said there was an emphasis on music I was delighted as my parents were opera singers and i want her to grow up with music. But I didn't expect it would be this!?! The music was left on in the background the rest of the time and that really did my head in. She asked me if I had done any baby sensory stuff and I said no, and she seemed to think it was something to fix. We do a lot of music at home, I sing and play instruments, she does too, we listen to everything from symphonic to reggae and R&B but at an appropriate level. And if we don't listen actively, we turn it off after a while as silence is also important.

Basically, I don't want to seem unrealistic as I of course realise a childminder will be noisy due to children being around and that's ok. But what I'm asking is: do you think my concern is ridiculous? Or do we think this constant display of noise and excitement and lack of focus can destroy my child's ability to concentrate?

I asked about quiet play time and she said they have it once a day after naps.

What's your experience?
I like this childminder so I'm after reassurance I guess.
Thanks a lot!

saltnvinegarchips - you have to remember that ideas on volume is individual this lady says she's at home in the quiet all day so any nursery rhyme may sound to be blaring if 10 children are singing along and making music along to it, music is not a quiet activity. The purpose of the music is to help the children hear a rhythm and naturally join in with it. The purpose of the song is to teach rhyming pattern of words. A music time with a teacher clapping a rhythm is not enjoyable to young children and very out of date.

Sounds like a fun and lively child minder which it doesn't sound like you are looking for.

Have you considered looking at Montessori nurseries - they are more about learning individually and quiet concentration.

Different nurseries/childcare settings will suit different children. My eldest went to a noisy busy nursery and thrived. Dd2 went there and hated it, I ended up moving her to a Montessori inspired nursery and she thrived. It was calmer, less children and more directed activities.

Perhaps a child minder isn't for you. If it's any help, I am one of six, my house was extremely noisy most of the time but all of us were and are great readers have never had trouble concentrating when required and also enjoy and appreciate silence. I have four DC now and again it can be extremely noisy and busy but all enjoy books and quiet time too. It's hard to get the balance right. I imagine it can be very overwhelming for a little one not used to it. Hope you find something suitable.

One of the reasons I liked my daughter’s childminder was that she gave her the opertunity to experience different things from the things I enjoyed. I would say this is a positive for you; your daughter gets to experience a different environment, and you don’t have to listen to “noise”. Win-win!

My son seemed to enjoy his kindy he was always happy there.
I was also going to suggest Montessori to you OP.

One of the reasons I liked my daughter’s childminder was that she gave her the opertunity to experience different things from the things I enjoyed

This ^
Of course being one of 3 or so dc at a CMers, following the EYFS is going to be different from what you describe your house as being. That is a really positive thing in my book too. YOu dd gets to experience lots of different ways of 'being' and to experience things that you aren't comfortable doing. she is still with you on the days you don't work though, and will learn your ways of doing things too.
It is normal to have concerns about who you leave your dc with I would be worried if you didn't, but you have to accept that they know what they are doing, and, where it will sometimes be a different choice from what you would make about that miniscule thing, that doesn't mean it is a bad thing. It will enrich your dc's life to experience different ways of doing things.

This isn't the right CM for you. I visited two. One very quiet, calm and organised. The other loud, lots of fun and very warm. I went with chaos because I knew this would be best for my daughter but if you want somewhere very quiet you need a CM that only has a couple of mindees and a calm, quiet house.