Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

nanny sharing - anyone able to point out pros, cons, potential pitfalls, etc please?

29 replies

Tutter · 31/05/2007 13:06

my soon-to-start nanny/mothers help is proving a bit too popular at her temp placement - they would like to keep her on on a p/t basis so have asked me if i would consider a nanny share

any issues i should be aware of pretty please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NAB3 · 31/05/2007 13:22

Get everything in writing. Which family is going to pay what, sort out tax and insurance. Who is going to decide about holidays if it doesn't suit the other famiily. What if one child is ill, is the other family happy for their child to be with a sick one? I have done 2 shares and it can be a minefield. Good luck with it.

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:29

OMG, how much time do you think I have?

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:29

Just kidding

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 13:29

you should charge for your advisory services

OP posts:

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:33

1- Pay her in gross!
2- Holidays should be a 3 way agreement. Imagine if you take one week, other family takes another week, then nanny will never get a whole day off.
3- Talk to other family about their expectations on this like if nanny is sick, if one kid is sick? For example, if one of my kids is sick, but not sick enough for the doctor, I want nanny to work. The other family may or may not be happy about my sick kid coming along to spread germs. In return, I accept that their sick kids might be sent to spread their germs to my healthy kids. (so long as we are talking the common cold and not measels)
4- Think about who is paying for bank holidays?

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:33

Ok, what are you offering?

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:35

Is this a share where she looks after all the kids at the same time? Or does she look after your sometimes and theirs at other times?

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 13:44

thanks eleusis - good points

we were plannign to have her f/t. they would like to retain her 2 days a week. tbh we may not get beyond the sticking point of which days work for them/us, but just wanted to be aware of other issues in case we can work it out

as nab3 said though, minefield

OP posts:

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:52

Sounds just like my set up. She lives with us, works full time, and the other family uses her a couple days a week.

One thing I don't like and this might be because I'm a tad anal retentive when it comes to plans and schedules they change the days round all the time. I hate this. We are getting anew nanny in 4 weeks. SO it will sort itself out because I think new nanny only wants to work for us. But if she was taking on both, I would require that the other family pick two days and stick with them. How else can I rganise my kids' activities? Also, it often ended up that all four kids (two theirs and two mine, all under 4 years old) would end up at my house creating twice the mess and when DH was home working. So, you should get a feel for the schedule. Where will they be on what days?

ALso, as this is a share as in all kids are together on two days:
1- Talk to other family about thinks like eating habits, nutrition, approach to disipline, etc. Another problem I have is that I'm a bit of a dictatorial type parent and the other families kids don't listen to a thing anyone says. So, of course, my DD observes other boy getting wining and sobbing his way into chocolate rewards from his mum and then tries that on with me. And much to her dismay it flies like a lead balloon. I've come to realise thaat whole this is not his fault he is not really great influence on my DD and I think I prefer she find someone else to hang out with.

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 13:55

god sorry eleusis i have confused you - they would have her at their house 2 days, we'd have her 3 days

so children not together

OP posts:

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:55

Eleusis · 31/05/2007 13:57

That is much less complicated then. Which days do you have? If you have monday think about the bank hols and who pays them. It migh be fair to lump bank hols plus hols into one bank, and you fund 3/5 of them and they fund 2/5.

TootyFrooty · 31/05/2007 13:59

But you want her f/t, is that right? Not quite sure why you should give her up for 2 days a week and complicate things unnecessarily if you need her f/t.

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 13:59

good idea re splitting cost of BHs, thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 14:00

tooty, absolutely, and if it turns out that sharing isn't going to work then we'll have to say to her it's all or nothing

i'm a sahm so may not need her f/t after the first couple of months (ds2 due in july) (have already said that's non-negotiable)

it might work out well if we can get the days right, and sort out the potential pitfalls...

OP posts:

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 14:04

arf at "have already said that's non-negotiable"

i'm referring to having her f/t for min 2 months after ds2 born, rather than ds2 being due in july

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 31/05/2007 17:37

I have been the nanny in several nanny shares, and I think the problems I had (it worked very well on the whole) were both families feeling rather proprietorial about me, and getting a bit needy if it appeared I was favouring the other family in some way.

WI don't know if your nanny would be looking after both sets of children at the same time: if so another problem is where the two sets of parents don't exactly share the same ideas about what the children should be doing. I had one employer wanting me to get the children to wash their hands and faces, change clothes etc after school, then sit down and do some educational activity . The other family, and me, thought that they should be roaring round the house mucking about

I also found, in retrospect, that what should have worked perfectly well (4 girls of similar age, who all knew each other and got on together) was in fact a bit too much for the youngest who could have done with some more individual attention. So I would recommend not too many children together on a regular basis.

Hope it works out.

FrannyandZooey · 31/05/2007 17:39

sorry I keep naughtily posting first and THEN reading the thread

I see they won't be together in which case I think the only problem is if the other family pisses about, or if one of you starts to feel the nanny prefers the other family

god knows why this should matter but it happened to me more than once. I think the relationship between nanny / employer is fraught with intrigue to be honest

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 19:40

thanks franny

OP posts:

nannynick · 31/05/2007 20:28

Query - Is nanny live-out or live-in?
2-days at one home, 3 days at the other... is that right? Do all the children do all the days, or would your children not be needing childcare on the 2 days the nanny works for the other family?

If you only need the nanny 3 days, and the other family need the nanny 2 days, and there is no overlap of children/days... then I feel it's two separate employments.

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 21:09

yes nick, she'd be with us 3 days and with the other family 2 days - both live-out jobs

OP posts:

nannynick · 31/05/2007 21:14

I don't see there being any issues then, as the jobs are separate.

You agree the days you want with the nanny.
The nanny agrees to do those, and that's that.

Agree a Gross wage (so tax code changes won't affect you as the employer) and take it from there.

Or am I missing something?

Original poster

Tutter · 31/05/2007 21:19

it's less to do with potential problems between us and the nanny, tbh, more to do with putting the basics in place with the other family - as others have mentioned issues such as tax, sickness, holidays, bank hols etc

OP posts:

nannynick · 31/05/2007 21:42

But those are not your problem. You employ the nanny for the 3 days, you don't care what they do the other days. You agree what you want with the nanny and you don't have to fit in at all with any other employment the nanny chooses to have.

I used to nanny 3 days and temp in nurseries 2 days, they were separate employments. I don't see your situation being any different.

If the nanny worked for you 3 days per week, and worked in a supermarket 2 days per week... would you be negotiating with the supermarket regarding tax/ni payments, holiday entitlement, etc. I highly doubt it.

Anyone have two part time jobs? Do your different employers talk to each other... I doubt it?

nannynick · 31/05/2007 22:00

Does anyone else see this the same way I do... or am I out on my own with this one?

Flip

1 2