Gosh. Feeling a bit overwhelmed on AuPairWorld. Any tips?

[Flamingoose]

We've never had an au pair before. I think it might be a good solution for us now I'm working full time. I've signed up on AuPairWorld with a profile, and paid the money for sending messages.

So many lovely young au pairs sending messages. They all seem nice. I'm trying to be practical and ask useful questions to whittle them down but every time I log on there's more messages and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I'm immediately checking visa / driving licence / driving confidence / start date / length of stay / Christmas plans.

Any thoughts?

references, age, previous experience are all good ways to whittle it down - and then maybe just pick someone who looks as if they will fit with your family and have a chat with them. Don't stress about getting the most perfect au pair you can - you just need to find one person who is a a good fit with your family.

good luck. we found a real treasure on aupairworld .

I ask them to give me a breakdown of what they would do to entertain one of my DC for the afternoon. Many of them are not very child focused, but are determined to live abroad. That gives some kind of indication as to their compatibility with your child. Because that's what you really need, for the kids to like them.

Look for experience with kids? Younger siblings?

Can you talk to them?
Can you afford for them to come over for a trial weekend? You will know if they fit.

Lucky you!

Just to get it more manageable,

1. Say no anyone who hasn't send you a personal message.

Then check profiles, get rid of anyone: Under 22 as you'll struggle to get car insurance for them Who mentions a boyfriend in their profile Who won't do "light housework" (you can see that on the bottom left of their profile) (I also say immediate no to anyone who is a smoker, doesn't want to stay 6 months, is obese or covered in tattoos.)

That should get your inbox more manageable.

1. Limit countries of origins to those which you can afford to pay a return flight home if it doesn't work out.
2. Get them to screen themselves --- what I mean is, write a family profile that includes not only the information that is likely to be appealing about your family but also the "marmite" stuff - this enables them to screen themselves out. For example, in the evenings would you prefer that they relax by themselves in their own space/bedroom, or would you prefer that they watch TV in the family room? Are you a strongly healthy-eating family (give examples)? Tell them what you expect in terms of help tidying up and cleaning (for example will they be expected to help you with bathrooms, hoovering). What sort of help would you like with cooking meals? How often? Can they choose their own holiday dates, or will you set them? Do you mind if they get a part time job (will they need to be available at different hours each week for you; are they supposed to look after your children if they stay home sick) Are they expected to join or not join family trips on weekends? What sort of isolation/urbanisation surrounds you? How much time are the adults in your family likely to spend talking to them, and helping them improve their English? What activities hold a special interest for your children? The point is that au pair arrangements are highly variable - let them decide if your preferences are their preferences.
3. Ask them what they intend to do with their spare time. Boredom and lack of imagination are common reasons au pairs leave after 3, 6, 9 months. If you want them to stay for 9-12 months, focus on candidates that have a plan. For example, some have on-line courses/exams they want to prepare for; some want to try to get a voluntary or part time job. Some want to get fit. Some want to travel
4. write your profile using English language that is your minimum standard. If they ask questions that you already answered in your profile, focus on another candidate.
5. Have approx 5 questions that you ask them answer after the first contact. This sorts out which of them is willing to invest serious time in you. If not, then there's less chance that they will 'go the distance'. Some of them will be close to accepting positions with other families; so they will probably not put much time into answering your questions (that's ok - better to be passed over now rather than have them announce several weeks later, "actually I've accepted a position with another family"). You'll also learn a lot from their answers, including their current grasp of English. For example, ask them to describe their family (parents, siblings, home town, friends, boyfriend, pets). Ask them what prior experience they have had with children the same/similar age as your children. Ask them if they are willing to do the housework and cooking you described (spell it out), and ask them if they have done that sort of housework before. (Some have, some haven't). Apart from improving their English, ask them how they plan to use their spare time when the rest of the family is at work/school/childcare.