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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Child care options for a single parent going on holiday alone

15 replies

Dietcoke82 · 14/07/2018 22:06

Hi mums

First time post. I have just split up with my partner of 6 years. Prior to this my fiend booked and paid for a holiday for me and him as we have had an awful year and it would be a nice break away. I have paid for the children’s summer daycare and extra nursery places but now my partner and I have split up and it isn’t amicable

I don’t have any family to rely on to look after the children outside of the childcare hours and I don’t want to let me friend down and not go on holiday as he has paid and has nobody to take my place.

My children are 4 and 5 and I wondered if there were any childcare options that I could look into so that ideally I can still go away

OP posts:

merlotmummy14 · 14/07/2018 22:15

How long is the holiday for? Surely your partner would be able to take them if it's only a few days?

nannynick · 14/07/2018 22:23

Once, several decades ago, I cared for two children for two weeks whilst their mum went away on holiday. Bit different though as the children had known me for around two years by that time so they were not being left with a stranger.

So if you already had someone who cared for your children on fairly regular basis then it may be possible that they could care for a longer period of time - as a nanny caring for them at your home.

That does not seem to be your situation though so I don't know what options you have. Can you take the children on holiday with you?

Original poster

Dietcoke82 · 14/07/2018 22:26

He has refused to do it to spite me

OP posts:

Original poster

Dietcoke82 · 14/07/2018 22:28

I can’t take them with me as I can’t actually can’t afford the holiday in the first place hence my friend paying for me. I couldn’t afford to pay for the additional air fares. Also I have now spent my extra money on the childcare which was £400

OP posts:

Doyoumind · 14/07/2018 22:32

What about your ex's family. Are there no grandparents or aunts/uncles in the picture on either side?

Personally I think if their parents have just split up it's probably better to put the children first and stay around for them though.

Original poster

Dietcoke82 · 14/07/2018 22:37

Yes that’s my thought also. Just feel bad letting my friend down if there was a way to work it happily for the children. No grandparents to have them either. Think I will have to cancel

OP posts:

islandholiday · 14/07/2018 22:38

I agree, my children are similar ages and I'm a recently single parent. I think it would be really unsettling for the children to have parents split up not amicably and then both mum and dad to disappear for a while and then to stay with a stranger? My two wouldn't go to bed that easily with someone they didn't know.

It was nice of your friend to pay for the holiday, but if he's a good friend he'd understand the needs of the children?

Doyoumind · 14/07/2018 22:40

Make sure you have a refusal in writing from your ex if you don't think you can get him to change his mind. It may be useful at a later date, particularly if you have to fight over contact arrangements, to show he is spiteful and doesn't put the children first.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 14/07/2018 22:53

If this is a recent break up then I wouldn’t go, your children don’t need strangers coming in and looking after them at this point.

If you still decide to go then you could look for an over night nanny but tbh, if you can’t afford to take them then and overnight nanny probably won’t be affordable either

SoupDragon · 15/07/2018 09:21

Who was going to look after them whilst you were away originally?

Original poster

Dietcoke82 · 15/07/2018 10:12

He was due to. He has his own holiday booked as well as we haven’t been getting on and he thought it was a good thing to book seperaye holidays and have some head space which I agreed.

I don’t want them to be passed from pillar to post either. I think when I posted this yesterday I was kind of in denial thinking that everything could still be ok and nice and lovely but in reality it can’t be.

My friend will understand that I can’t go away with him I am sure. It’s just I always feel really bad guilt and I have basically let him down and I hate doing that

Regarding getting it written down that he has refused to look after them as originally agreed that is a great idea and I will do that

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 15/07/2018 10:40

Oh, right. I read your OP as saying your friend had booked a holiday for the pair of you together.

Ellapaella · 15/07/2018 12:10

So was your ex meant to be taking the kids on holiday with him and has now said he won't?
Or he was meant to be looking after them outside his working hours and now won't?
Either way if he's now saying he can't then surely he needs to refund you the cost of your holiday and the cost of the childcare?

Slimtimeagain · 17/07/2018 12:18

Wouldn't it have been cheaper to take the kids with you rather than paying the extra for childcare? Could you explain that to nursery and see if they'll let you cancel.

Guardianreaderformysins · 17/07/2018 12:24

I’m sorry OP. Sounds horrible. I know Tinies do nannies in this situation, but honestly I wouldn’t do it as they will already be a bit unsettled.

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