Should I approach mil?

[BabiHapus]

I’m currently on maternity leave with my first baby. I will return to work in around 6 months time for three days a week. My mother has offered to provide childcare two days a week, she has other responsibilities on the other day. I am not opposed to nursery or a child minder. However I have a lovely supportive mother in law, who loves the baby to bits, and I trust her to care for him. She has offered a few times to have him on the odd night if we want time to go out, but has never mentioned child care for when I return to work.

I think she would like to have the baby for one day a week, but she hasn’t offered and I’m not sure if it’s cheeky to ask her. She may not have offered because she lives a bit further away and doesn’t drive, so wouldn’t be able to collect or drop off LO, but this wouldn’t be a problem. Or maybe she just thinks it’s too early to think about it yet..

Just wondering if it would be cheeky to ask, I would make it clear she is under no obligation! It’s less about the money for me and more about having someone we trust with our little one, and it would be nice for them to have that time to develop a bond too.

I don't think it would be cheeky. Have you spoken to her about childcare, i.e looking for a childminder? Perhaps if it just comes up in conversation then she will offer.

I think it would be lovely to be asked. It says so much about how you feel about her. Just make it clear that there's no pressure with it and you'll understand if it's too much etc.

Cheeky would be expecting her to do childcare. Simply asking if she could have your DC one day a week is a different matter. I wouldn't think twice about it, I'd ask her straight out, adding that I don't expect an immediate reply and that she should not feel obliged to say yes.

Thanks for the replies! I think we’ll go ahead and mention it to her next time we see her. I’ve dropped some subtle hints but I think we need to just ask, perhaps I’ll get DH to discuss it as it’s easier if it’s your own mum. I think she’d jump at the chance to be honest but will make it clear she’s not to feel obliged.

I would ask but only having family as childcare is a pain when they are away or ill having a child used to a childminder or nursery gives you some back up options

Helter I had thought of one day at child minder, and one day at each of the grandparents...but have never used child care before so not sure if this arrangement would work?

We have my mum one day a week and used a childminder on a few other day's. I agree with PP about sickness and holiday for family and it's always good to have another option.