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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Full time childminder or 4 days nursery?

16 replies

Spoonspanner · 01/06/2018 09:27

Hi, first post, just looking for some opinions.
I'm trying to arrange childcare for ds2 who's currently 8 months, I'm going back to work in 4 months. Unfortunatley I have to return to work full time (please don't judge, I won't go into details but I'm not massively happy about it) albeit flexibly and my husband has the option to work 4 compressed days.
My ds1 is 7, we waited until our finance were ok before ttc2 but I can't get over the difference in childcare prices between when he was in nursery and now. We are going to be spending nearly 1k a month for 4 days in nursery. Another option would be for ds2 to be with a childminder 8-3 for all 5 days, this would be cheaper and give us more time as a family in the evenings but I can't get my head around the concept of him being with one person for 7 hours a day every day. Not all the childminders I've looked at have other babies and I'm so worried he'll end up more attached to them than me? I didn't find this to be an issue with nurser as there was several staff and lots of other children for him to play with.
So please tell me wwyd and am I being ridiculous? Please don't tell me to work less, this is simply not an option and I am not up for getting into that debate. We have no family as we're not from the uk. Thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MollyDaydream · 01/06/2018 09:33

Firstly, the absolute best thing you can do from the perspective of your baby's development and mental health is give them a caring adult they can attach to.

Secondly, he will never be more attached to someone than he is to you, regardless of your childcare choices.

PotteringAlong · 01/06/2018 09:35

I pay for Nursery because we’re both teachers and if the childminder is ill/wants to go on holiday then I have no childcare options.

It is very expensive. You don’t want to see my bill for 3 children Shock

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 01/06/2018 09:36

Absolutely I would agree, I’ve been a childminder for a decade and minded dozens of babies, many full time and none of them has ever become more attached to me than their mum. It’s a new and important relationship we develop and I nurture and love them whilst you are at work but they are always delighted to see mummy.

MollyDaydream · 01/06/2018 09:37

Multiple adults providing care and the difficulty therefore for babies to make an attachment to a specific person is the biggest downside of nursery, and the introduction of a 'key person' for each child is an attempt to provide this.

AiryFairy1991 · 01/06/2018 09:42

Firstly, stop being so hard on yourself! Plenty of families have both parents working full time you’re doing the right thing because you have to provide for your family (also do you judge your partner for having to work full time? So stop judging yourself so harshly!).

Secondly it sounds like you’ve been to see both is that right? We decided on nursery really early on for my son because he was a sociable baby who I felt would benefit from time with other children his age. I visited 4 and only got “the feeling” with one of them.

I’m sorry this isn’t much use but it really just depends on your baby whether they would benefit most from a home like setting or a nursery setting.

Is it just the cost factor that has you against a nursery? There are obviously other benefits of a childminder but my dad gave me great advice when we were looking at childcare options : when it comes to your child you pay what you can afford so long as it’s for the right fit. Don’t just go with the cheapest. We ended up going for a more expensive nursery but I don’t feel one second of anxiety or hesitation dropping DS off at them and that’s what you need!

doughnutcraver · 01/06/2018 09:50

My childminder is fantastic.
I was over two hours late one day last week due to train delay. I called childminder and she was great about it.

I not sure how a nursery would be if I couldn't get to pick up until 20:25 that one day.
My childminder has washed clothes, worked a Saturday for us to attend a wedding, even took lo to have jabs at baby clinic when work wouldn't let me have time off.

I have used both nursery and childminder and cannot recommend my childminder enough.

lollypop13 · 01/06/2018 10:23

I decided to go for a nursery after being let down by a childminder numerous times and by son never really took to her despite settling in periods. The nursery we chose is excellent and he skips in everyday.

NannyR · 01/06/2018 10:32

I'm a nanny and I've looked after several babies over the years. In some jobs I've had sole charge of babies for 10-12 hours a day, 5 days a week and built up a brilliant bond with them but when mum and dad come home there is absolutely no doubt who their primary bond is with.
I would say a childminder would be the best option for a young baby, it's a much more "homely" environment and good childminders take their minders out and about to play groups etc so they get to socialise with other children.

Spoonspanner · 01/06/2018 14:58

Thanks all, we've looked at both and honestly I feel better about the childminder but it's the lack of interaction with other babies and my silly notion that it may affect my bond with him. I feel much better now :-)

OP posts:
fabulous01 · 01/06/2018 15:07

When I was on mat leave I did lots of baby groups and child minders were always there. It was sometimes more of them than parents
With that I saw some really good ones, and those not as good so definitely get out and meet some as you may get approached

I went for nursery I end but that was a personal decision

InDubiousBattle · 01/06/2018 15:25

I know a few childminders and they're always at toddler groups, children's centres, children's events etc. Plus they all know each other so your baby would get to know other cms mindees. A good cm should offer your baby loads of variety and plenty of opportunities to spend time with other children. You will never be usurped!

AlbusPercival · 01/06/2018 15:30

Don’t forget e en if no other babies there are other children.
My son loves hanging out with the pre schoolers

Normandy144 · 01/06/2018 15:33

I use a childminder and I really like the home environment they offer. My childminder looks after several children so there are always other babies and children for them to interact with. She also is part of a small network of other local childminders and they go out and about every day to toddler groups, to each others houses etc. So just because you choose a childminder it doesn't mean they won't socialise, they really will.

Hermie12 · 01/06/2018 15:34

I agree. I work full time and my dd3 has been with childminder 3 days since she turned 1. Although this scaling back now shes at a term time nursery, they have a fantastic relationship but shes always delighted when I go to collect her. There have always been other little ones around, she has been to regular trips to playgroups, or days out in school holidays to soft play etc so I ways felt the childminding option has had a huge positive influence on dd over time. The flexibility you can get with a childminder is also a bonus. I couldn't have held down my job for the past 21/2 years without her.

MollyDaydream · 01/06/2018 16:06

Babies don't socialise with other babies, they just compete for adult attention! When they're 2.5-3 years then some preschool sessions are a good idea.

jannier · 08/06/2018 10:25

Have you talked to the childminder about her weekly routine? Im sure you will find that she meets up with plenty of others and your child will be around a good base of future friends. All mine have a base of 20 children they see regularly through a week and like a nursery 5 familiar adults that they are confident to ask for help and talk to.
Key workers at nurseries were an attempt to get around the need for a child to be cared for by a consistent close adult which is important for self esteem security and emotional well being. No adult will ever replace you in your child's affection but a good childminder will be accepted as someone who I'm happy to spend time with when mummy isn't their and be viewed as part of the family. The worry that your bond will be weakened is a common one but in practice just doesn't happen.

Even as your child gets older a good childminder will do everything a nursery or preschool will do whilst offering more one to one there is no need to transfer to a bigger setting if you choose the right person.

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