Grandparent help

[Mooieminnie21]

Hi all,
My mum offered to help out with childcare when I was pregnant and I am due to have a conversation with her about it but I am feeling nervous and very anxious about it all. Basically my other half works shifts and I am going back to work full time mon-fri in an office. My son is going to nursery two days a week (mon & fri) as he has to do the same days each week, I need to say to my mum that if she wants to do the same day each week that's fine but she won't always have him every week as it will depend on the shift pattern. For example if my other half is off he will want to spend time with our son. Just wondering if that seems out of order, I think it's fair but not sure if my mum will get the hump! Would appreciate your opinions please.

Does your mum work or is she retired?

I'm sure she won't mind! 3 days a week is a huge commitment and dgc are exhausting! Tbh, I look after my dgc as well. I'm retired but it is still a lot even though I adore them! I only do alternate Fridays, plus cover for ddil when she has drs or dentist appointments, HIIT, boxercise, and emergencies generally. Discuss it, I'm sure it won't be a problem!

My mum still works full time....I believe she will go part time. This is why she wants to do the same day every week which I totally understand but say it was a Wednesday and my other half was off Monday Tuesday Wednesday if she had my DS my other half would only see him for a day. I mean she may appreciate the day to herself maybe....I just feel so anxious about the conversation! She is currently going through a tough time with a bit of a breakdown and I don't want to put my foot in it!

Its better to have the conversation as early as possible. Just explain it to her how his shifts work and how often she is likely to have a day to herself and go from there obviously if she is giving up some paid days at work and its only for 2 days a month she may feel its not worth it and it may be better you looking at formal childcare if she says no. Are you going to be paying her or giving her food/expenses for LO?

No we wouldn't be paying her for the days. We do have other family members who could help out so it wouldn't be an issue at all if she didn't want to do it. I'm just worried she'll say something like oh so sometimes I'm good enough and other times I'm not. I get routine would be easier to manage but with the OH working shifts it's hard and I can't make him give up time with his son. I wouldn't be happy if the shoe was on the other foot and my little one was going to his mum while I was off.