Looking to hire an Au Pair, what should I be looking for?

[AC14MUZ]

Hi All

I've recently signed up to Au Pair world in the hope of finding someone, has anyone had experience of this site? Good or bad. I've arranged one Skype chat so far but not too sure what I should be asking and how I can really tell if someone will be suitable?

I suppose the main thing is they are responsible and gel with the children but any tips most welcome!!

Think about your expectations and try to make sure they are matched to the au pair's, eg do you/they want a really family experience where the au pair does everything with you, or do you/they want AP to have quite a lot of free time and ideally have contacts where you live so they are not too dependent on you. We've found the latter works well for us, we never asked for it but it was how our first au pair was and that worked, and our current au pair also has his own social life. We have turned down ones (well, more my husband than me) who have said they'd like to do everything together because we just don't think we can give that, which I know makes us sound really horrible! We're not, honestly, just quite busy and there's logistical stuff like can't fit a 5th person in our car, so doing everything together isn't realistic for us and we're not going to pretend we can offer that.

Maybe ask a question (I do) about what they'd do if they were unhappy with how things were going. Obviously I hope we wouldn't mess up and ask too much, but I'd really prefer someone who feels able to speak up rather than someone who will be silently upset and opt to pack their bags and not give us a chance to get things right.

Attitude matters. It’s easy for a girl to say the right thing to appear a good candidate but on the ground the attitude matters more. If you want a home help then fix a schedule and responsibilities. If you want an extra pair of hands give a smaller set of duties (rubbish, recycling, cleaning kitchen, dishwasher etc) which are part of living in any house and ask for flexible hours to help as needed. This needs managing carefully as you don’t want someone who doesn’t feel they have freedom to live their own life.

Also ask about the basics of what they eat and drink. It can be tough to end up with a coke drinking vegan when your kids are only allowed water and love meat.

Oh, and the hardest part is managing responses. The messaging system on APW is truly awful. It’s better now but you see to write and the prior message would disappear from your inbox.

Last summer we got only four or five responses but got a lovely Aupair (who left us for something too good to pass up). Second time around we got six or seven but got a lovely Aupair who is leaving to sit her entrance exams and for an internship. This time, looking for summer help, I got more messages than I could cope with. Dozens and dozens of great candidates.

I ask if they have lived away from home, I especially like the ones who have lived in a foreign country. I ask about siblings, we are quite a loud, busy household and my DC squabble a lot which is a bit wearing for an au pair who is an only child. I check that they can swim. I prefer au pairs who play football, and who have coached a sport or have worked in a summer camp with kids. I ask them about their reasons for wanting to learn English, the ones who have a goal tend to cope better with the long, long, dreary, Irish winter than the ones who just want to au pair because they've got nothing better to do.

I generally have a short email chat first, and then when we Skype/Facetime I have part of the interview with the DC present to see how they interact with them. I feel that if they can hold the DC's interest through a computer screen then it's more likely that they'll all get along in real life. I always email the questions that I'm going to ask before I do the Skype chat so that they can run it through Google translate if they're unsure, I'm trying to find out about them not test their English.

My best aupairs all had good English. The worst ones had below average to poor English. When on Skype, speak to them to check their level of English and ability to understand spoken English.

It is pretty tiresome to have someone whose English needs a lot of work. Those who had bad English never really improved in their stay with me. That could be a function of living in London as it is so easy for them to find aupairs of their own nationality to hang out with that they don't have to speak anything other than their native language. They start out by asking about English language schools and then don't seem to follow up when they arrive.

Yes, APW can deluge you with messages when it's busy! I filtered it down by taking out any that just sent a generic reply, didn't reply in English or had no prior experience.

First time round, aim for someone with experience au pairing if possible, or in the very least someone who has spent time abroad so you don't end up with someone so homesick that they can't cope.