Upset !! Feel like I am being bullied for not staying overnight!!

[ziopin]

I am a teacher and have agreed to be on a team at school who are starting a new initiative

We will be required to attend a course for two days (12 of us). The course is being held in a hotel, which is only 5 minutes away from my home.

We have been given rooms to stay overnight, but I don?t wont too. I've got 3 children at home (we've got a nanny all day) and want to put them to bed/wake up with them in the morning. The course finishes at 4.30pm so I cant see the problem.

My boss has issues because I won?t stay out overnight, and publicly asked me why I didn't want to stay out. He even asked my husband if it would be ok for me to stay out overnight! (Dh works in the same school) All this is said in a packed staff room. I wish the ground had opened up! The staff room fell silent!

I am really p*ed off over this, and feel bullied into staying out. Any advice would be appreciated

That is awful! It's totally unreasonable for your boss to make those comments publicly and indeed to expect you to stay over.

Go and see the Head and explain how close you are to the hotel and have no need to stay overnight. You don't even need to explain about your children as I see that as irrelevant to them, really. Hopefully, HT should say there is no problem, and that is that. You have every right to dig your heels in if they try to insist, though. Good luck!

It was the Headmaster who asked the question!!!!!!

Blimey, here was me thinking it might have been your HoD or something! All the more reason to go and see him direct and say how humiliating you found his remarks. You could take the line of being "confused": 'I don't understand why you make those comments about me staying overnight for the course .. what on earth is the problem with me going back home at the end of the first day and then being back on duty in the morning? Especially as I live so close ...' or something like that.

If it's any help, a silent staff room tells me how shocked at his comments everyone else was, too.

Ziopin I am at the attitude from your boss. Do you belong to a union, they might be able to give you constructive advice? HTH

tosser!!
stick to your guns and go home why would you want to spend all evening with work people? maybe he wants team building but took the wrong turn asking you like that

Do you think the head views this as a team building event? If so, then perhaps he is worried that if you leave, other will follow suit and may spoil the team building aspect of the event. Are there evening activities (i.e. dinner)?

I agree, however, that the middle of a staff meeting was not the appropriate place to take this up with you (unless it was you who brought it up in the meeting and he/she was simply responding).