How to hire an au-pair from AuPairWorld.com

[Lato]

We are planning to hire an au-pair from AuPairWorld.com. This will be our second one. The first one was through an agency but we are not very pleased with her.

So my question is how do we go about hiring somebody from AuPairWorld.com. Do we propose a contract? Do we request the same documents as the agency - references, police report, etc. Do we contact references?

I'd be interested to see what people do. How do you make yourselves comfortable that you have checked the person. Do you have sample contracts?

Thanks

We used aupair World a few years ago now.
Had three great summer aupair through them.
I set up profile, and had relatively strict criteria... Made filtering out easier.
Then I read the ones that replied and emailed ones I liked.
Set up Skype with the person we felt best connection with.
Chatted via Skype and then asked for a reference... Last employer or uni tutor in one case, emailef that person.
Then our lovely aupair arrived.
We didn't have contracts.
Or get police checks or anything.
Looking back we did take a lot on trust and gut feeling.
It worked out great though all three times.
We were fairly flexible and relaxed family, and only had English as first language aupairs so no misunderstandings

I will say the good ones get inundated so you need a blanket approach to contacting them or replying if they contact you.
First time round I would email one at a time and often lost out!

Hi OP

1. Start by reading other host families profiles on au pair world, then write your own. Make sure you have lots of nice smiley photos. Profile needs to be friendly but factual. Don't be too specific straight away, you want a few hits on your profile from au pairs to make your family look more attractive, you can always narrow down your search criteria later on.

1. Make sure you log on regularly and reply to messages to keep your profile near the top. Apply to some au pairs who look suitable. For those that reply to me I respond negatively to anyone who doesn't send a personal message, mentions a boyfriend in their profile, is obese or who doesn't mention children at all.

1. If its a positive response, I reply just double checking things like age, driving experience, length of stay etc and ask if they have any questions. I then ask for their email address and send out an information sheet with more details about the family and a sample schedule and if they are still happy with everything I arrange to Skype with them. The info sheet states that they must provide a police check, copy of passport, letter declaring any medical conditions and driving licence. I also google them.

1. After that I Skype them, usually first just with me and then they meet the children and DH. After that, I ask for all the documents and send out a letter of introduction (like a contract).

And then they come - so far we've had good experiences with all of ours.

I'm considering doing the same with Au Pair World - is there a standard contract template that can be used? Also, how much should they get paid?

I provide an offer letter, as much to reassure them as me and in case there is any problems with immigration control. I cribbed it from an agency version. Here it is (desensitised):

Dear (Au Pair),

LETTER OF OFFER

We are happy to offer you the position of Au pair to our family. The requirements of the Au Pair placement with us are as follows:

We are a family of XX ADULTS and two children. They are CHILD aged xx and CHILD aged xx.
We are an English speaking family and only English is spoken at home, although I also speak XXXX. We live in TOWN which is in the COUNTY part of England, approximately XX minutes from London by train. XXX Airport is the nearest airport to TOWN.

We have a 4 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms. You will have your own room with a single bed, desk, chair, chest of drawer, wardrobe, TV with DVD player, and free wi-fi (you need to bring your own laptop if you want). You will share a bathroom with the children, which has a toilet, sink, bathtub, and a separate shower. You will also drive the family car and we will ensure that the necessary insurance is in place for you to do so. The car is a BRAND and an automatic. I will give you a few lessons in the car before you are required to drive it alone.

Start Date and Period of Au Pair Placement
You are expected to start XX July 2018 and to stay for a minimum period of eleven months, which can be extended further if you wish. If due to circumstances beyond your control or for any other reason, you wish to leave at an earlier date than our agreement, you will be required to give at least two weeks’ notice. If we require you to leave, subject to the conditions specified on the next page, we will give you a minimum of two weeks’ notice and ample notice of your working days with us.

Hours
You will be required to work for an average of approximately 25 hours per week. Typically, this will involve helping with the children in the morning and then again in the afternoon. You will also have 2 days off a week which will be every Saturday and Sunday.

Weekly pocket money
We pay £XXX per week for a 4-6 hour day from Monday to Friday and extra for babysitting in the late evenings, on the weekends and for any days during the school holidays and if the children cannot attend school due to illness.

Duties and responsibilities
Your main duty is the care of the children. You will be required to help get them ready for the day, get them to school (if I am not there), collect them after school and see to their needs in the afternoon including help prepare their evening meal/helping prepare the family meal when I am home. This means that up to 2 times a week, you will be cooking the dinner, giving them a bath and putting them to bed if I am not home in time.

You will also be required to assist with homework, bath and change as required, after school activities, play games together as well as anything else that may be necessary for their amusement and well-being.

Babysitting during the week is normally limited and we will pay you extra for weekend babysitting.

You will also be required to do house-work which will include tidying, vacuuming, cleaning, and ironing.

Accommodation
You will have your own room in our home as described before. We would like you to treat our home as your own (except that smoking is not permitted and you are not allowed to bring any male visitors to the house under any circumstances). We ask that your room be kept tidy and that friends staying over should only do so with our permission. You will have free wi-fi in your room and we encourage you to bring your laptop/tablet so you can stay in contact with your friends and family. Your room also has a TV with DVD player and a range of digital UK TV channels.

Language School
You can enroll at a local language college to attend a course in English for foreigner students for the duration of your stay, if you so wish. The course is the Cambridge certification and is ESOL accredited. The classes start in September/October.

Holidays & any other benefits
You will have 20 days holiday per year, for which we will agree dates between us. We will provide up to £100 pounds towards a return ticket to your home country if you wish to return for Christmas/New Year and will agree with you which dates are suitable.

Performance
We treat our au pairs with great respect and expect similar behavior from you in return, as a member of our family.

Reasons with would give rise to instant dismissal would be:

• Theft or other dishonest offences.
• Drunkenness.
• Illegal drug taking.
• Child abuse or neglect.

Reasons which could give rise to performance measures to you are as follows:

• Causing a disruptive influence in the household.
• Job incompetence.
• Conduct during or outside working hours prejudicial to our interests and reputation.
• Unreliability in timekeeping or attendance.
• Failure to comply with our reasonable instructions or procedures.

If there was a problem with any of the above, I would speak to you and ensure that we can find a solution together.

Preparation for life in the UK
The climate here is seasonal and temperatures range from 30 celsius in summer to -15 celsius in winter. Please bring adequate clothing, including a warm winter coat and footwear to enable you to comfortably spend time outside with the children and in your free time.

We look forward to having you with us starting XX July 2018 and are sure that you will have a great year in the UK.

Please sign a copy of this letter as acceptance of its terms and conditions and return to me as soon as possible. Please print and bring a copy of the letter with your passport when you travel to the UK.

Yours sincerely

YOUR NAME

I have read and accept the above terms and conditions.

Signature: (Au Pair name)

Dated:

That's helpful - thanks.

To add to the selection process @underneaththeash mentions, I also try to keep the conversation flowing on the messaging tool for awhile as you will be able to spot flakiness and levels of motivation easily.

Profiles with no english text, no pictures, or where they are banging on about "spirituality", "life journey", talk at length about some trauma they had, or are "professional au pairs" demanding this and that...... straight in the bin.

I weed out the ones with special dietary habits and phobias.

I always ask questions about what they want to do afterwards as well, especially around further education as the school season in mainland Europe is earlier than ours and some of them need to get back home for academic years stating in early July which leaves me au air less for that last month of school here.

I also check on facebook and insta if I can find them. Just like we don't put up pictures of ourselves looking our worst, so do they.

I have on occasion found a girl that looks like Mary Poppins on aupairworld and then found the same girl on facebook looking like someone I didn't fancy in my house. I expect them to have a social life of course. but if you look at their pictures and they look insane, drugged, hard eyed, etc. then maybe it's just not right.

If they need to drive - check carefully how much they drive at home. There is a world of difference between having a license and being a confident driver. And go older as the insurance will be cheaper.

Always chat to lots of aupairs at the same time. Even when I am about to close the deal on one, I will start convos with others, as insurance. When I have found one, I email those to let them know I am off the market. The aupairs do that to me too. Or they ghost and don't reply. Hence, do not get fixated on any one person.

Be fast to reply if you like someone. They could get snapped up by someone else. In the same way, I keep my second/third choice candidates warmish by going slow on my replies. It is like online dating. I am a complete tart.

Always Skype the final candidate. There is nothing like seeing someone face-to-face to check their understanding of conversational English and assess their level of enthusiasm.

For aupairs with past aupair experience, I ask how long they were with the family and ask for their host family details to call for a reference. If they do not supply it (because the family was mean to them or they lost it), I don't continue the conversation. I do actually call the previous family - some have told me outright 'no'. Women referees are far more frank. Sometimes the men don't have a clue. If the host parent does not return my call, it is another red flag. It is usually they don't have much good things to say and prefer not to. Those aupairs have not worked out that well.

There are pros and cons with aupairs with past experience. The big advantage is they know the score and won't have unrealistic expectations. The con is that they are usually looking for an easier role than the previous - they always ask for a detailed timetable - and want more money (up to mid-aupair/nanny rates).

Question about English speaking au pairs (and very current in case brexit stops eu au pairing)..... I have been approached by a girl from the commonwealth who can come for up to two years on her visa. My normal au pairs come to learn English but this one is fluent .... what on earth will she do half the day when there are no kids at home?

Goldilocks, Most of my of my aupairs have good English and even if they did not, do not take English lessons (despite the fact they say they want to in the interview). Some go out for a run. Others meet up with friends in the area. They had 7 hours to themselves alone in the house during the day before the children came home. Some of the more reclusive ones, were on their phones/laptops/TV - these do not tend to work out.

My South African aupair, who was one of my best and the children loved her, had excellent English and family nearby. She was also sporty and went running during the day.

My children are older. It is easier for older children to bond with aupairs who speak better English. It is also easier for me to give instructions over the phone.

Sorry to jump on this thread!

Goldilocks - may I use your letter (or parts of)? We've just found out first au pair on au pair world and am in the process of writing a letter!

@bythebeach go for it - wasn’t entirely mine to start with

This is all very helpful, thanks.

Goldilocks - my English speakers have a second job, as long as they register the job as a second job and you pay under £115 you don't need to register as an employer either. I ask them for a copy of a payslip to keep on file.

I also make it clear that we come first and the second job needs to work around our needs. And it's never been an issue.

We also had one native enlish speaker who did voluntary work in a school as she wanted to teach.

Thank you @underneaththeash - I'm quite happy for them to work weekends and during the day as long as it doesn't interfere.

The only problem I have ever had was when one of my au pairs went and got her NI number etc. and all of the sudden seemed to be in the process of claiming Job Seekers Allowance...wtf.

Our au pair last year got an NI number. She had Spanish friends on benefits who were not au pairs. I lived in fear she'd try a stunt like claiming benefits at our address but she didn't manage to open a UK bank account, which I am guessing she'd need to progress the process. I don't know how to mitigate against this happening completely but it's another reason I wouldn't hire an older au pair.

I recommend, with au pairs you like, get the conversation off APW and onto Skype/WhatsApp ASAP, as the messaging system is a pain.

You can get overwhelmed with messages when its busy - you might want to weed out any that send a generic reply or don't reply in English (unless you want the other language)

We've had au pairs with OK English, but they've both been older and had friends in town who they see when they're not on duty, so that's what good English speakers can do. There's quite a lot of social life among local au pairs too (our last one left at the end of our agreed time to move in with one of them in a new place together!)

I downloaded a template contract online, but don't remember where.

@Ovienna since the jsa girl - if anyone asks me for a letter to confirm the address I specifically write a) that the letter is to open a bank account b) that she’s staying with me under the au pair agreement and thus not eligible for jsa (the next one hat asked was actually also Spanish and she got the right arse when she saw what I had written, left and moved into a flat with her mates and got a job in a sandwich shop. prick).

@Goldilocks3Bears

How were you alerted to the fact that she was claiming? Did post come to your house?

To confirm address (sometimes we've needed this for the GP, I think) we have had something from Amazon sent to the house with their name on it and a letter from us addressed to the GP. This has worked. We actually haven't had many au pairs ask about bank accounts and I have never suggested it. It's a pain to organise for someone only here for a year. Plus, I guess they couldn't get an overdraft but it's another thing that I wouldn't want to have to think about.

Can they get benefits paid into a foreign bank account?

The other thing that worried me about last year's au pair was that she signed a gym contract. I later found out that one of the options was a three year deal people were complaining about and I was worried she'd signed that agreement. I have put into subsequent au pair agreements that they need to show us the terms & conditions before they sign anything that has our address on it.

To be honest, I have never had anything like this until we had the Spanish au pairs though. Totally new frontier. Very odd.

@Ovienna I only found out because one of the kids became ill and she had to stay home that day and started banging on about her important appointment in town. I probed and she admitted it was at the job centre, then tried to make out it was about something else but she was clearly signing on. I absolutely hit the roof and explained about benefit fraud and the impact on my credit checks if she tainted my address with her antics. That's why I now put it in the letter when they ask me for confirmation of address.

One of my Czech au pairs also asked me a question about this and when I dug deeper she told me there were several chat rooms/websites with tips for how to milk the system living in the UK.

I've had one au pair who stayed in the UK ask me to do a note that she has been living at my address for 5 years so she could get car insurance. Nope.

One au pair started using my kitchen (and leccy, and groceries) for a small commercial enterprise where she was baking biscotti for a local caterer to sell. Nope.

I'm not so worried about the bank accounts. They don't get overdraft and credit cards easily. I don't think you can get paid into a foreign account, unless you bank with Santander (a Spanish bank).

Our au pair had an account with Santander...I can't even think about it TBH. She did have issues though with getting set up over here, I know that (moaned extensively about life in the UK.)

This sort of thing is one of the many reasons we are going back to German school leavers who still have some support from their parents. Good English, but they're reasons for being here are really straightforward. Language school, the pub, etc. I did hire a girl for next year who is taking a gap year from university. But following the referencing I'm confident we're on an even keel. I hope so anyway!

I hadn't considered there may be forums where APs may be taking advice, like you described.

I am going to address the benefits thing when the girl gets here.

With this sort of thing, it's a fine line between alerting them to something they may not have considered. "Ohh, that sounds like a good idea" and covering yourself.

Yes, I've always had older girls but don't need a driver now so going for a younger school leaver. Hope it works out - a bit nervous about them needing more mothering but who knows.