How long to settle

[happychange]

I'm sending DS to a Childminder mon-wed 8-6.. it's been 2 weeks but he's still screaming the whole time there

It's so out of character for him, he's generally such a happy chirpy little boy that it's breaking my heart that he's crying so much

Oh bless you how old is he? I’ve got a little boy so have been through the same. Has the childminder given you any advice on how to help him settle?

He's 14 months..
She didn't really say.. I will have to ask her tomorrow

Surely you’d give the cm tips not the other way around? You know him best and they’re still getting to know each other. I’ve settled lots of children and always appreciate tips to help settle babies since different things work for different little ones. I don’t mind trying all my techniques but if I have a clue it can minimise the upset.

Good luck.

Any tips? I don't know.. as the only way I know to settle him is by stuffing a boob in his mouth which I guess she can't do

Eurgh.. I feel so conflicted and guilty

That’s probably the problem then. He’s never learnt to settle without the breast. Not surprising she’s finding it tricky then.

Can you give her some t shirts that you’ve worn so he can smell you? He might find that calming.

Maybe he is not comfortable in his new Childminder.

It's always a big change for children when they go to a childcare setting. Some settle really quickly whereas others take a while. I had one who took a long time but slowly, step by step we got there.

I think if little one is used to being put on the breadth when he is upset then that will be the biggest hurdle. It will be a case of him learning to self-settle which is a step in his development. Perhaps try leaving as shirt or scarf with your scent on to help soothe him

Did you do many settling visits before hand? It maybe worth seeing if you can step back to half days and do 4 half days for a few weeks so there is not so long between visits.
Does he take drink form a cup/bottle and eat well?
2 weeks is still early days.

I think, as you’ve realised, that the problem is that your baby is so used to being with you and the method you have chosen to settle him is something that no one else can do in your absence. Unfortunately, I think it will just be trial and error and a lot of patience from your minder to help him settle. It might help if you also try other methods of settling him when you are with him instead of feeding him, ie distract with a toy, looking in a mirror, singing, peek a boo etc, so he learns that he can stop being upset without being fed.
It might be a long road, but if you are 100% confident with the minder, stick with it, it might be a long road, but you will get there.

Thank you all for the advice and reassurance

He was much better yesterday apparently so maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel

I'm going to try to shorten my hours a bit as well for the next few weeks so hopefully that will help as well

Oh bless it's so hard but as others have said if you're happy with the childminder it is just a matter of time. I had one little one 8 mths who literally screamed every day at drop off and regularly throughout the day for about 3 weeks non stop then suddenly just seemed to settle. She's still with me age 9

Oh and agree reducing hours initially might help if you can manage it

That's really hard and heartbreaking but if I were you, I will do some practices or cm activities, In that way, it'll help to ease your son when with CM, and also ask for their advices.

natnatroswell22........Not sure what you mean by practices or cm activities?