Sick aupair

[cherrypipp]

Hi all, I'm back.

So the aupair that I wrote about before with the every 45 second, huge chesty cough...the cough has been back now for 3 weeks and she hasn't been able to speak above a whisper for over 2 weeks. It might get better if she stayed at home and rested but she's off gallivanting with her friends every opportunity.

Husband and I sent her to doctor this morning (before this she insisted she was fine) and the doctor has told her that this time it is not asthma (exactly same cough though), taken her off her inhalers, and told her to wait a week to see if it gets better.

I am at the end of my tether with the coughing and the whispering and basically having another kid in the house. I told her after she came back from the doctor that she is not safe to mind the kids at the moment which she didn't understand. I explained that she can't shout at them to stop them doing something dangerous or call an ambulance if she needed to. I know this is worst case scenario, but I am a paeds nurse so unfortunately I see all the risks. I've told her to get it sorted once and for all in this next week or I'm sending her home. To clarify, this cough started mid January. Improved somewhat by end of February, and then came back with a bang end of March. We're having to sleep with earplugs to block her out, and I've missed my little one crying for me in the middle of the night because I can't hear them either.

I'm probably ranting but does anyone have any advice?

" I've told her to get it sorted once and for all in this next week or I'm sending her home "

well she has been to the doctor - how else is she supposed to 'get it sorted'? what could she do ?

Pay for a flight home where she may encounter someone more sympathetic.

Honestly? If she is too ill to work and the job she does is critical in supporting your family I would put this under too difficult to live with and ask her to find another job or go home. It is not working for you.

what have you done for her? does she have cough mixture, pineapple juice and so on?

So we've had this.

In short, if what you are saying is that she refuses to see a doctor/follow their agreed advice/accept your support to fix things in order to get better there isn't much you can do. She is an adult and that's how it goes.

If it's affecting her ability to do the job/making it impossible to live with I think you are in your rights to tell her it's not working.

It's a question of how much support you are offering and her taking it up.

I can see how you would think I sound awful. I am actually a nurse and I've bought her every cough and cold remedy I know that work (paracetamol, aspirin to gargle to ease her throat, Actifed, cough bottles). I've made her herbal tea, hot water with lemon, ginger and honey, and told her to rest. We eat healthily so I haven't bought her anything different to eat. I've taken her to the doctor (to clarify, dropped her there as I then had to take my kids to school), and sent her there again this morning...couldn't take her because I had the kids and our surgery opens at 8am for same day appointments. I have suggested that she rest and use a notepad and pen to communicate while her voice gets better and the coughing stops. She goes out ALL THE TIME with her friends where you can be sure she is not resting her damn voice. So bar actually confining her to her bed where I can nurse her like a patient, I'm at a loss as to what I can now do. It's been 3 months with this cough coming and going and keeping us all awake ( I have gone to work on 3hrs sleep to do a 10 hour shift). As someone rightly pointed out, she is an adult too and I can't force her to rest to get better in order to do her job. I'm far from awful.

You have my utter sympathy. It's the type of situation than when it works, it is fantastic. But when it doesn't, simply call it a day.

Best of luck. I think you sound perfectly reasonable.

Thank you Sofato5miles.

She just quit so now we have to try and start again. I feel very sad for my kids because I think they'll be very upset.

She has been one issue after another though apart from the health since January so this is probably a good thing.