I have 4 months old Ds and my CM has 4 yrs old DS. I'm worried.

[hoppala]

I'm a first time mum who had to return to the work.
I left my baby to a friend of mine who is also working as a CM. She has 4 yrs old son who seems a nice one. But I'm so worried since he doesn?t know how to act around a baby. While I was with them he tried to give a spoon of rice to the baby , he jumped into the bed while baby was lying there etc.
Last time I saw her, she mentioned that her DS is a bit jealous . Please tell me how can I make sure that he will not do any harm even if he doesn?t intend to? I talked with my friend but she is just saying do not worry, which I can not help I know even real brothers can harm each other while playing.
Is there any way to make sure that he will be safe?

Hoppala - I'm sure some CMs will be along at some point to reassure you. Perhaps try bumping the thread tomorrow.

However, if your friend is a registered CM she will have been taught strategies for dealing with these sorts of issues. My own dds are with a CM, but her daughter is older (she was 10 when they started going there and is now 14) so obviously it was less of a problem. Even so, 4 is old enough to understand the kinds of things that might hurt a baby and your friend can explain these to her ds. Has she not minded before? It sounds, from what you've said, that this is her ds's first experience of having another child in the house. (Or maybe he's just more used to children closer to his own age.) If her ds isn't used to babies, there's no reason why he should know how to behave. It doesn't really sound like a problem with the other child, but more a case of the CM making sure that your ds will be safe.

Your CM should also have safety procedures in place - e.g. somewhere safe to leave your ds when no other child can get to him if she needs to leave the room for a short time (e.g. to take another child to the toilet). This could be a travel cot or similar. She should have been inspected by Ofsted, shouldn't she? (Not sure about this - sorry - if she hasn't been already, she will be at some point, and they are very hot on this sort of thing.)

Please try not to worry. (That's easier said than done, I know!) And bump this thread in the morning to see if someone more knowledgeable comes along.

she should have a beahviour/intervention policy in place which states what she would do if one of the children was a risk/at risk to others ie her own ds this time, i would explain to her that you ARE concerned that her ds is rough with your LO and as she has already said her ds is jelous is SHE still confident she can look after them both?..keep your eyes open for other cm's while doing this, but just ask if your friend can assure you she can handle this

Would you be able to talk to your friend/CM more about your concerns, something along the lines of, "I know I'm a paranoid first-time mum" (I don't mean that you are!!) "but I'm a bit worried about whether your son might act up if he's a bit jealous, do you think he'll be OK with the baby? Blah blah." And see how she responds? Did his mum actually see the things he did before? Does she have any other previous experience of babies around her son?

I had a small baby do one of her settling-in days during a day in the summer holidays, and I could see the absolute panic in her mum's eyes! I reassured that that her baby would not be left in the middle of the floor to be trampled on, would have lots of cuddles, would never be left alone with any other minded children etc.