Au Pair Employers - Struggling to find an Au Pair - can I be nosey and ask what pocket money yours have?

[MrsRecycle]

I've been trying to find an Au Pair since December last year and I am beginning to think that the pocket money I am offering is too little. I really don't want to give them £110 a week (which is what they want) when you factor in everything else (board, food, unlimited telephone calls back home, internet, etc) I'm paying them more than what my dh earns. It would actually be cheaper (and I could claim back via Tax Credits) if my dds went to their After-School Club.

I've spoken to a number of APs that are currently in the UK and are being paid £50 a week for over 40 hours a week (illegal I know as AuPairs are only meant to do 25 hours under Home Office rules). Can I be really cheeky and ask what pocket money you currently give to your Au Pair? I know in Germany the pocket money is £45 a week and they can only stay for one year. But I guess the cost of living is more over here.

We had a wonderful live-out Au Pair who we were paying £60 a week to and I really don't want to pay anymore for a live-in Au Pair.

Goodness me, I am in wrong business!!

But MrsR is a tight wad.

I had a few people look down their noses at me been a nanny but I had no worries and I used to go abroad about four times a year.

My Great Aunt was Daniel Day-Lewis' nanny and he refers to her as Nanny Bowler so I would have loved to stepped into her shoes. I think they do an amazing job.

I worked for a very upper class family and actually they were the fairest people and were very nice to work for.

You are SUCH a name dropper.

MrsR, you have been searching since Dec last year? That sounds like a long time. No advice to give except I will start searching for my first AP in a few week's time and am only going to give it 2 months! Intending to offer £65 per week, eeks.

blueshoes, I found one but had to sack her after 2 weeks (constantly ill, didn't turn up one morning, her bf spent the night, list is endless). So I'm back to the drawing board. There are a lot of APs that are looking for families to start next January so I'd start as soon as you can.

Update, I think I'm going for the Dutch - she really seems nice but as dh said that's what I said about the sacked AP. Men eh - well next time he can bloody well recruit one (bet he picks the one with big boobs!!). Actually I had a dream last night that I got a male AP!

And did the male au pair have big boobs?

"well next time he can bloody well recruit one "

ABSOLUTELY!

male APs/nannies are the flavour of the month!

As for Dutch, I guess the language issue is less likely. The impression I get from my workplace about the Dutch is they are all a bit mad. But that is not necessarily a bad thing!

Why is it women end up with the task of hiring help? It is taking me an age to put my AP "pack" together - houserules, routines, timetables, local info, advert. Whereas if I left it to dh, yes, he will go for the equivalent of big boobs, lol. Nothing perked him up more in this rather dull business than when I mentioned I might be considering a Swedish AP!

In my case I do the work because DH works away and it is therefore I who has to manage the nanny. So, I tend to pick one that I will get along with. Also, my standards of childcare are far higher then DHs. He's generally happy to go with the flow and I say they can eat this, they can't eat this, that tv show is off limits andover my dead body will my daughter own a bratz doll... meanwhile Dh stand there a bit overwhelmed thing (what is bratz?) rolls his eyes and says "ummm... ok that sounds nice dear". So, I make the choices, he approves, and it's generally my job to manage them.

However... I am really crap about picking up my clothes off the floor, doing laundry, doing the dishes, etc. So it evens out in the end.

eleusis, sounds like a fair deal!

Oh no blueshoes, I'd forgot about the "pack". Must sort it out for Tuesday - mind you ele has kindly "lent" me hers!!! Oh I'm so lucky to have a friend like ele aren't I??

I like the saying "you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps" so that might be why we go for the Dutch!

Must dash off to screaming ds.

MrsR - my firend has the fabbest Dutch Au pair ever, qualified as a primary shcool teacher, about 24 and just lovely (she described me as "erudite" so I think she's lovely!)

She sounds like my old Dutch au Pair - I really did like her. My dds think the best idea is for her to come back to us. Shame she's now teaching back home.

Are you buttering me up for something in particular?

Moi? Never!!

Hi Mrs Recycle,
Sorry Sorina's last exam isn't until mid July so looks like she isn't any good. After reading all this I feel so lucky I struck gold at first attempt (and she's agreed to stay another year ). I rather stupidly assumed finding someone good was easy as I lucked out first try (by choosing the one with the kindest face !!!!!!