Childminders help!

[Snap8TheCat]

Tell me please, how many of your evenings are taken up messaging parents? I write diaries every day and send photos every evening but the parents reply with questions and comments and conversation which once in a while is lovely but it’s getting ridiculous. We have a large setting with 6 early years children and I feel like I never clock off. Some are worse than others. I don’t want to offend but I’d love not to talk about other people’s children and concentrate on my own dc especially when dh is working away like now.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about newly settling children or any issues with the children that need discussing. Just sharing antidotes and general thoughts and questions. I love my mindees but I’m feeling resentful that they are taking up so much of my family time.

Any advice?

Surely the point of a home / setting diary is that you write in it during your working hours - whilst the dc are there, and then the parents write in it (if they need to) at home, and you read it the next day when they arrive.
Why are you answering / responding to them ?
I would just let everybody know that you need to 'clock off' in oder to have the energy to be ready for them the net day, you won't be responding to any messages in the evening, unless there is a real emergency.
It may be because my dc are older / went to CMers before mobile phones, but I have to say I think sending pictures every day is completely OTT.

You’d think wouldn’t you? I’m trying to scale back the photos, it takes at least half hour every evening to sort through them in to each child and then forward on to correct parent.

Then I’ll get a message back like last night ‘Oh we love that park, did x show you he can do his legs on the swing now?’

I feel rude not replying but the conversation just goes on and on and on. I know they love their little darlings and haven’t seen them all day but I do feel I do enough in terms of communication.

And don’t get me started on the parent who asks every question at handover that will be answered in the book if they just could be bothered to read it at home. ‘What did they have for dinner?’ ‘Has he had a poo?’ ‘Did he sleep long?’

Any way you could print off a couple of pics per child to stick in the book?
Even if it was just every Friday, so you didn't have the contact with parents on an evening.

What I do is a have a secret Facebook group where I post all the pictures a day info for each day. It means I'm only doing it once. You just need to stop replying after a certain time - set a limit on it. Then reply the next day during work hours, perhaps saying 'sorry I didn't reply, I was doing x with my kids/fell asleep/was out with friends' to emphasise the fact that you are clocked off and doing other things.

I'd stop writing the diaries if they don't get read, do a verbal handover.
Maybe use WhatsApp for photos? Take and send directly to the parent during the day, no sorting.

You say you feel rude not replying.

On the flip side I am a parent and my child goes to a childminder. She communicates mostly through a book - occasionally email. I always reply in the diary (even if pushed for time) because I think it's rude not to. Equally if she emails I reply ASAP and sometimes this turns into several emails in the evening, because I don't want to be rude.

Is this a case of typical britishness? Do you get a sense that the parents "need" replies or that they're making chit chat.

Unless it's something that requires an immediate response I wouldn't reply until you were working again. I as a parent would not mind this at all.

As an aside I'm about to start the training to become a childminder.

Can you not just send pictures to them as soon as you've taken them? If you're happy doing the written diary I would just answer the 'has he had a poo?' questions with 'it's all in the diary!'.

I dread sending them during the day due to what might happen! I do have six little ones each day (assistant) and it’s a different combination each day (I have 11 little ones altogether) so frankly I do expect a lot of work and chat but every night is too much.

Photos sent during the day would just take too long and I don’t have permission from everyone to share on Facebook. I do use WhatsApp to send the photos and primarily messages. They also get a regular email stating our theme, learning objectives, termly menu, reminders and requests.

I’m just exhausted by it all.

You are doing far too much! How many pictures are we talking about? Couldn't you just literally snap a quick picture of said child playing in mud (or whatever), send it to the parents phone and then delete it and snap another child and do the same? One picture a day. I know a few cms and they do this at toddler groups etc. Alongside a small, single sheet with pre printed headings (sleep, toilet, food, any other concern) every day and a circular e mail once a month on what you're planning surely that's enough??

My childminder uses baby's days website so we have to log in to see the diaries and the photos so I very rarely reply. I do ask what he's had for dinner when I pick him up but that's just so I can do a mental calculation of what to feed him when I go home. The childminder occasionally uses whatsapp to send me one off photos and videos (if he's just done something particularly amusing). Sometimes I send them (it's a husband and wife) a quick text in the evening or on a weekend if it's urgent, but I generally wouldn't expect a reply outside of their working hours.

It’s really useful hearing what other childminders do so thank you, from both cms’ and parents’ perspectives.

Send picture of aforementioned poo

Ends conversation

Seriously though, I just wouldn't send pictures etc. Then there's no opportunity for conversation unless there's an actual concern.

After a child has settled in I will only take photos that show something like a new skill. once a week or less I import into piccollage then add any text like words spoken I email one to self for learning journey and 1 I wattsapp to parents Whole thing takes minutes. " 2 outstandings.
I explain to parents that they need to read and sign the diary every day and should add comments like what chid has now learned or done at home so that I can show this to Ofsted and that any messages that are not urgent should be put in here. Urgent mssages are illness not attending, injury or mark queries not can I bring late in 2 weeks time. I only answer urgent messages anything else will be left to next working day so best to put in diary.
All my parents understand that my work dose not start and finish with children arriving and leaving and once I do finally clock off I need down time, there are not many jobs where you are on a 13 hour a day shift and then still contactable.

when a new child starts, I try to send a photo through the day for the first couple of days, then move to sending a quick text to say how it’s going, then stop the daily communication during the day. Unless theirs a problem, I don’t send messages in the evening. If we do something new, or child does something funny or cute or very photo worthy, I send that as we go along during the day, but other than that, I put photos in their learning journals and these go home once a term.

I think you need to gradually cut down the amount of photos you are sending and stop replying to messages in the evening unless it is very important. General chit chat does not need to be entered in to.

If I take a picture or video that I think a parent might like to see that day, I take it, click forward and send it via WhatsApp and forget about it until I'm writing assessments.

To the question about whether you saw them use their legs on the swing, or whatever, reply the next day.

I know quite a few CMs who have a separate work phone, so they can switch it off in the evenings and weekends.

As a childminder with a small number of children, I suppose I have more time to do a verbal handover at the end of each day. Most parents will come in for a 5 minutes chat. I rarely get any phone calls or emails outside working hours, the exception being that they will call me if the child has been sick/has suspected chickenpox or something like that. I send photos throughout the day and print/keep a journal which I hand over to the parents at the end of each term (and they give back to me if I have an inspection!).

Agree with others (from a parent's perspective) you are doing far too much. Like Maverick has pointed out, if you send a pic, it seems a bit rude not to reply, and so it goes on. I certainly wouldn't expect (nor want) a picture every day. Once every 6 weeks / 2 months, when there is something particularly cute or funny. would be kind of you, but I would have no 'expectation' even of that.

I once had a very tired and grumpy 4 year old snarl “Read the notes!!” when her dad tried to give her the usual inquisition about her day when he picked her up

You might find one of the many online journals helpful because it allows parents to add their own notes without coming back to you all the time. A lot of settings use Tapestry but there are plenty of others to look at.

Thank you.

I agree I probably do too much. I am also graded outstanding and my inspector said I did loads (too much). I think I will cut back on the photos. Problem is I always get passive aggressive comments if I forget, or am late with anything so I feel the stress and pressure to continue.

So just explain you have reviewed what you have been doing, taken advice, and in future you will be doing x,y, and z.
Always finish your message with something along the lines of "As I'm sure you all want me to save my energy for the time I spend with your children during the day". Who can argue with that

Love the phrasing, I will use it!

Blimey no wonder you're knackered that sounds amazing by t definitely too much. With regards photos, can you not email parents and get permission to share photos of all children to all parents this reducing to one email - I'd reduce to weekly but that might be a step too far!

My oldest sons childminder communicated via diary, secret Facebook page etc I always thought it was a bit much to be honest. Youngest has a different childminder and she just gives me a quick verbal handover. I try not to message her out if ours but we do tend to have a giggle so we do chat a bit. I find this much more relaxed as I don’t see the need for a written communication from her (except the invoice obviously).

Occasionally I will send a photo to a parent during the day. But most go onto Tapestry - they can comment or ask questions but this isn't 'answered' as such.
Re diaries - I only do this with a new starter up to the age of 1. After that I rely purely on verbal handover.