How do those of you without family support cope financially?

[Musodad14]

Hi everyone,

I have never posted on this site before so I am sorry if this in the wrong place.

We were lucky to have a healthy baby girl nearly a year ago and as maternity has come to and end my wife has gone back to work. She works part time two days a week at the moment. When we moved to the area we assumed that being closer to family would mean free childcare as both sets of parents are retired and this was discussed, maybe not promised in the lead up the pregnancy. Due to health issues and distance, this has not materialised and we are now paying for two days worth of childcare that we can't really afford.

There is an opportunity for my partner to work an extra day however we would need more childcare for this and I am not sure it would be worth it. The other issue is that my wife cannot give up work because unfortunately I do not bring in enough to pay every bill and still have money for food etc.

We feel as though we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I could potentially earn substantially more abroad somewhere like Dubai however we aren't in a position to move because of the health of our family members. Also the guilt taking away a first grandchild to another country after a year would be hard to bear. Other family members also have young babies so it be tough to remove our child form that social circle.

Other than just sucking it up, taking the financial hit and head into debt, I would be interested to hear what others have done.

A colleague of mine worked full time while bringing up her children and was paying around £1000 a month child care at one point. I don't want to suggest this to my partner as she wants to have time with the baby at this early stage which I completely understand but I can't think of another option.

As a Dad I feel powerless to help and guilty that I cannot bring more to the table in the short term but I am contemplating a weekend job to balance the books.

Any advice would be much appreciated!

Wanting to stay home is all well and good if you can afford it. If you can't then you need to get your arse back to work. It's that simple. Millions of parents do it every single day.

As a teacher, you (and she) must both earn more than your Nursery fees though.

You also need to factor in your long term prospects / careers.

Not sure how people think they are going to fit in home tutoring etc as well as teaching and having a new baby ??

You need to buy them through a scheme which your payroll will sort out. Google the government calculator though to compare the vouchers with the new tax free scheme because I was better off using the second. The deadline to sign up to the old scheme is very soon

www.gov.uk/childcare-calculator

It's a few years where costs are high and wages eaten up by childcare. After that, those who stick it out start to see the benefit of maintaining both careers.

I assume you have looked into child tax credit and working tax credit and don't qualify? And yes to childcare vouchers and to shopping around.

I had two years where pretty much all my earnings went on childcare (if you did the sums that way - it wasn't just my childcare). But that is a long time ago and I still have my professional career.

Some people go for a bigger age gap so that the elder child is in school before the mum finishes mat leave with the younger. We had two in nursery which was horribly expensive but only short term.

Exactly George.
I went through a few brutal years when the children were young. Now thanks to promotions and childcare costs going down I can see how worthwhile it was to stay at work. Plus even those years I was making only a couple of hundred a month after childcare I was still paying pension contributikns (and getting employers contributions) and was chipping away at my student loan.

Don’t forget that by working your wife and her school are paying into her pension.