Au-pair and their guests

[Prikke]

Looking for some views on au-pairs having guests over. We have always encourged our au-pair to have friends from home or family to come and stay. When our current au-pair's family came to visit we offered them to stay either with us and come for dinner (they choose to stay in a hotel centrally but came for Sunday lunch). We have told our au-pairs that we don't want them to bring friends back to the house whom they have just met without telling us.

My question is - our current au-pair has made friends with other au-pairs and brings them home after clubing to our house. She also stays at other au-pair's houses after partying. Is this quite normal?

She goes clubbing and drinking every week and recently brought a friend home who was vomiting all night.

She seems to equate friends she has known 3-4 weeks with the friends we have agreed to stay with us from home.

My main question is - does other au-pair families allow their au-pairs to bring people back to their house after parties?

No we don't allow this and have never had an au pair who has asked/expected to do this. We encourage our au pairs to invite other au pairs to lunch during the day (whilst they have the house to themselves).

Our au pair guide says that overnight guests are welcome with our permission (which I basically put in to stop any random one night stands staying over!). I think I’d expect to be asked for any over night guest, even someone who’d stayed before, and I would expect a lot of apologies and no repeat for a friend who stayed and threw up.

Great and good to hear.

We think having friends from home is different from having someone staying as part of a big night out. It may however be too fine a difference
And we will gave to be a lot clearer. It seems this group of au-pairs all stay at each others houses after a night out.

It's our 2nd au-pair and still getting to grips with it all. Overall we have a good relationship with her and have already had a talk abut crash pads and it not being cool.

My first au pair had a good au pair who used to stay but we wouldn't really see them except the odd time when they were cooking a dinner. The others have only had friends during the day other than that. If they had a houseguest that disturbed us I'd be furious. I wouldn't tolerate that at all!