Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

Advice Needed...sorry long post

10 replies

ajj · 27/04/2007 09:12

I have 5yr old & 8yr old brothers after school, 5 days a week. Started on monday, but had for 2 sessions before this for settling..... They have no regard for any of the toys, furniture or Myself/DD at all. Each day I have had them there is a problem such as arguing between themselves, pushing and shoving with DD (4yr old)throwing/kicking toys and the list goes on. I explain to them not to do it, explain why and they just laugh at me. Mother says its a nervous laugh and that it's not at me..... Thay are not nervous kids, answer back and they lie...loads. What would you do? Do you have this with after school kids?
Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dmo · 27/04/2007 09:21

i have count less toys broken and it gets me
i would not be happy with this behaviour at all
with my after school children i lay down the law and when a rule is broken they sit in the hall but this does not mend my toys, my dh said i should bill the parents but you cant really
if you can aford i would let the brothers go seems too much hard work esp if dd is affected

Original poster

ajj · 27/04/2007 10:54

Thanks dmo, unfortunatley they are currently my only mindees
Have only started on a monthly contract, so fingers crossed I can find some LO's and could then give notice...

OP posts:

em28677 · 27/04/2007 13:02

Keep trying with them but if its not working at the end of the month I would give notice they might end up costing you more mindees if they stay cos noone will want to go to a house with horrible children there so might be a good idea to cut your loss's and start again. Easier said than done though when you need the money

NKF · 27/04/2007 13:15

I'm not a minder but I'd see broken toys as a different issue from behaviour. Toys do get broken but fighting, kicking smaller children, throwing etc is not right.

PinkChick · 27/04/2007 20:26

make a note of the toys they break and write out an accident/incident report for everytime they hit one another or your LO.then give them to parents every time it happens

PinkChick · 27/04/2007 20:31

meant to also say, tell the parents they will be billed for breakages as they are constant and non accidental.get onto CIS and beg them for more mondees!!!!

ThePrisoner · 27/04/2007 21:01

It might be worth telling the mum that their behaviour is not acceptable and that if it doesn't settle down, then they will find themselves being given notice (but say it really nicely!)

Toys do get broken, obviously, but blatant disregard for you and your dd is not acceptable; and neither is trashing your house.

Have they ever been with a childminder before?

eggybread · 27/04/2007 21:17

Is it possible to separate them from eachother?
They may be much calmer if in different rooms and receptive to individual praise and rewards without subversive peer pressure.
Do you have written house rules?
I don't do after school children. My own ds is only 5 but comes home from school in such a foul, tired mood so often that I wouldn't want to put up with other school children's foul tired moods as well. It's just not worth the stress.

Original poster

ajj · 27/04/2007 23:23

Yes they have been with other CMs before. Mother told me she left last one as CM was late picking up from school, and just sat them in front of tv. But I have since heard from other CMs that this family have been through many CMs, and left each for different reasons. So rumour goes last CM actually gave them notice!!!!!!
Havnt got them on monday as I have to take DD to GP for injections, and mother wasnt happy with me having to take her boys!
Need other mindees V V soon
Thanks for all the advice.

OP posts:

vixma · 27/04/2007 23:50

Hope this might help, proberly useless. Trying to get the older one on side may be the key. If they break the toys take them away and bring in awards for good behaviour. Sometimes it helps if you give the older boy more responsibility in helping caring for the younger boy ie: with preparing dinner for his younger brother, ask him what his brother likes to eat and ask him to show you how to prepare it, and praise him loads for being so helpful and how lucky u are to have him help...ask him how his parents do things and how they dicipline the younger brother when he is being a so and so. If you can get the older brother on side hopefully the other one will follow (for most the time while you are trying to suss them out)with alot of patience and his parents not interfereing with what you are doing....stay strong and keep calm, good luck!

Flip