Advice needed re au pair leaving and holiday pay

[TheReferoo]

Our au pair has been with us since the end of November during which she’s had two weeks off for which she received holiday pay. We pay 4 weeks per annum but I didn’t pro rata this for the time worked as she was so lovely and I was very happy with her. Anyway today she has totally left me in the shit by giving me one week’s notice that she wants to go elsewhere this weekend.

I don’t want to end up causing a bad atmosphere this week but at the same time she’s been treated so kindly by us and I thought it was all going well. I feel quite aggrieved that she’s giving us so little notice especially as she signed a contract to give a minimum of two weeks notice. I know my feelings don’t come into it and I’m not going to ask for money back, but at the same time I don’t feel I should pay her at the end of this week given that she’s had over and above her pro rata holiday allowance already. But if I withhold the pay, how do I do this? Tell her now and risk the next few days being a nightmare or at the end of the week? Or do I just pay her and chalk it up to experience? I just feel so frustrated that we’ve done so much for her and this is how we’ve been repaid!

It’s not entirely clear from your post how much holiday she wants to take now and when. You said she is going elsewhere this weekend so is she just away for the weekend or is it for the week? Because if it’s just the weekend shouldn’t she have it off anyway?
If it’s the entire week you can refuse if it causes issues. You are the employer so she cannot just take holidays without your approval, especially if it means you have to make alternative arrangements.
Not sure about the pro rata thing. We’re those two weeks over Xmas?
I think you can tell her that she cannot take time off now given she has just had so much time off and she has only worked for you for a short time. Sometimes these people need it spelt out to them what the real world is like..
It sounds a bit like she is walking all over you, you need to take back control as you are her boss!

I would wait till the end of the week to tell her, avoid an atmosphere. You have already paid her extra if she only started late Nov, so dont feel bad. Did she say why she is leaving? Good luck finding someone else if that is what you are doing.

puff sorry if I wasn’t clear she is actually leaving us to go to another family that want her to start on Monday. We’ve basically over paid her holiday pay by more than a week given the holiday we’ve already paid for that she took over Xmas.

She’s leaving as she doesn’t feel where we live is interesting enough (it is if she made an effort but that’s another story). We may try again but I’m feeling a bit too bruised to contemplate it at the moment!

puff sorry if I wasn’t clear she is actually leaving us to go to another family that want her to start on Monday. We’ve basically over paid her holiday pay by more than a week given the holiday we’ve already paid for that she took over Xmas.

She’s leaving as she doesn’t feel where we live is interesting enough (it is if she made an effort but that’s another story). We may try again but I’m feeling a bit too bruised to contemplate it at the moment!

So sorry, I think I completely misunderstood your post. So she has been with you for maybe 6 or 7 weeks 2 of which she has taken as paid holidays and now she has decided to leave giving you less than a weeks notice? No, I wouldn’t pay either. Agree with previous poster to wait until the end of the week to tell her. Equally I wouldn’t be surprised either if she is going to be slack this week if she has this sort of attitude so you may want to look into alternative childcare if it comes to that...

Oh Referoo that’s really frustrating!
Do you have any decent childcare alternatives? We recently gave up on having au pairs after a very mediocre experience and now have a fabulous after school nanny. More expensive but much more mature and live-out!

She's not an employee.... Contracts aren't really enforceable as you're not "paying" her, you're giving her "pocket money" in return for light duties at an amount well below minimum wage even if you account for board/lodgings.

I would just pay her. I've had au pairs so I'm not judging the pay issue, it's more that you have to realise that you get what you pay for.

What does your contract say about paid holiday and recovery of overpayments? She has statutory rights and could bring a claim very easily if you aren’t clear in the contract that you can do this.

Sorry, missed that she was an au pair, not a nanny. Scrap that then.

Thankfully we do have back up options so while it’s massively frustrating we can manage. I get it’s not a formal contract as such and tbh I’m glad she’s going sooner in a way as I feel quite awkward now although I’ve really liked her. It’s just that lack of respect that we’ve bent over backwards to make her comfortable, we’re really relaxed about the day to day and then the payback is that you basically get 5 days notice. Interestingly she came to us from another family she wasn’t happy with and I took a punt. Guess it wasn’t worth it!

Sounds like she's not really enjoying au pairing!!

I think you just need to let it go too and put it down to experience. Sorry.
Its really annoying that she's left with little notice, but she's clearly just a bit flakey...Does she not need a reference from you for the new family?

It's not lack of respect, you are not talking about a real employee. It's someone who has to live in your home, follow your rule. It's understandable that sometimes you are not the right match for each other.

Au-Pairs get paid so little (which is fine, that's the idea, I have au-pairs!), I would just pay her.If you really want to pay her minus the "extra holiday", do tell her. It's not right to leave people stuck, she did give you notice. Some au-pair just leave over a weekend!

If she had given adequate notice then I would have said take it on the chin but since she is leaving for another family with little notice then tell her on the last day when you pay her that you have deducted over paid holiday.

What did you do in the end? I might have at least been tempted to sit down and ask why she thinks this is acceptable. And ask her what she is suggesting you do about the extra weeks notice.