CM CLUB - Mealtimes & Snacktime Problems..................

[looneytune]

Couple of things, first:

I'm having a nightmare at mealtimes and I've finally decided to try and get some advice as it's doing my head in - DS that is!

ATM I have ds (4) and 21 month old mindee for lunch and dinner. Ds eats ultra fast (for his age) and mindee is of course slower, although she's very good for her age (faster than my ex 4 yr old mindee). What I want is to be able to sit them down to eat their main bit and then do dessert once they have both finished. This is what my average mealtime is like atm......

Wash hands, kids sit down at little table, make myself something to eat/heat baby's bottle and before I get to sit down, ds is after dessert. If he gets his piece of fruit/yoghurt or whatever, then of course mindee doesn't want to finish as wants dessert. I've tried to make ds stay at the table but he nag nag nags and i just want to feed baby in peace. I give him something, sit down then he wants more, give him more sit down then mindee finished so needs dessert. Give that sit down, ds wants to leave the table. Let him, sit down, mindee starts getting up...........you get the picture?! All this whilst trying to feed the 4 month old.

What do you do? Do you think I'm right to be wanting them to eat same at the same time?

2nd thing:

Toddler mindee (2 in July) eats her meals at the table and has snacks on a sheet on the floor. She always used to be good and stay there but I'm now having problems. She uses a highchair at home but has been used to our way for months and shes DOES understand but is going through a phase atm. She gets up at mealtimes saying 'play, play', she has started trying to eat her snacks walking about and she knows this isn't allowed. The snack eventually gets taken away.

Any advice on any of this?

TIA

Yes, I think you are right to try to get them to eat a the same time.

I think you need to aim to slow DS down in his eating... and perhaps speed mindee up a little. Perhaps you could allocate a specific amount of time, for each course - could that work?
When DS finishes, do you mind what he does, as long as he stays at the table? Could he perhaps have a book to look at, while he waits?

Could snacktime be outdoors? Perhaps a rug/sheet on the grass, where food stays... they only eat/drink when on the rug/sheet.
When indoors, could snacktime not be relocated to the table?

I can sympathise with you here, the kids different ages and speeds are your main problems I think. As the weather is warming up a little now why not only do cold desserts, that can be put on the table with the main course like fruit salad jelly yoghurts etc? That way your ds can finish his plate and go on to his pud without you to-ing and fro-ing! Once main and pud have been eaten they can get down and play, leaving you to help the slower eaters.

As for snack time either resign all eating to the table or sit tight through the phase and keep taking away any snacks that leave the snacking area, she will soon get it!

I was saying to my friend the other day that hildminders shouls be able to buy special crockery that keeps their drinks and meals hot! Love it on a sunday when I get to eat a hot dinner and a hot cup of tea

I should add I love meal times, I think if you chill and embrace the chaos of 'feeding time' it's lovely to see them all sat around the table together!

I know you provide meals for your mindees, so my situation is different anyway. My mindees all bring their own lunch - some have a cooked meal to reheat, others have a sandwich-type lunch. Some of them have the main savoury dish and a pudding, others have a lunch box full of different things.

Therefore, each child may well be eating a "pudding" when others are still on the "savoury" bit, and they often finish at different times. I don't expect them to have to wait for each other (they're all very young), so they can leave the table once they've finished. And I've become very adept at peeling/cutting fruit whilst spoonfeeding a baby.

I guess that this isn't very helpful, but the point I wanted to make is that none of the children seem to worry about who is eating what, whether they are eating pudding or not, and are not concerned if one of them has finished and leaves the table. Some of them are faster eaters than others, and it would be impossible to co-ordinate them all together.

I'm not sure that it's ideal (we were never allowed to leave the table as children) but it's sort of evolved that way. Therefore, I guess that maybe you shouldn't insist that they have to wait for each other before pudding, and mindee will have to learn that he still has to eat his lunch before he gets his pudding (easy to say!!)

I also use high chairs for little mindees, so there's no option but to stay sitting during the meal.

I like to eat at the same time as the children, but it is sometimes just not possible. I will sometimes eat after the children, and bribe them with some intellectual TV or similar.

I would put the 2 yr. old mindee back at the table (or high chair) for snacks.

Thanks for all the replies.

Nannynick - I'll try the book at the table or something, thanks. I just don't think I can slow ds down, he's just so hungry after nursery. I'll try and speed the toddler up but in fairness, she does very well, it's just the natural speed of the different ages I guess. As for snacks outside, she's the same. It's basically like a game to her I think. What I do in the lounge is lay a certain sheet down, bit like we do the rug at childminder drop in. She used to sit fine but has started wondering off. Sure to test me I'll try going back to table for snacktimes. This will probably be better but she does wonder from there at mealtimes so we shall see

KaySamuels - my desserts ARE cold. I call it dessert but it's yoghurt & fruit I offer after meals. Or maybe a fruit bar but always cold. I like the idea of having the dessert on the table but IF I did that, it would mean a change in how I do things as I always let them have what fruit/yoghurt they want, rather than having a set something. And, if I did this, things like chopped up apple and some other fruits would be going brown wouldn't they? Having moaned about my problems, I will say I still love mealtimes too - it cracks me up seeing my ds entertaining toddler mindee at the table. I have some GREAT pics of mindee laughing her head off at the table recently, the best pics by far!! Ok, maybe mealtimes shouldn't be messing about and stuff like that but they just look so cute when they interacting at the table

TP - I know what you're saying but my ds is 4 now and he'd be the one having to wait for his dessert. The problem is that atm I DO get him dessert whilst mindee still eating main but this causes problems with her suddenly wanting the same. Maybe I'll just stick with the making her eat more first. I KNOW she understands, she's a very clever little girl. And in fairness, she's going through a phase with everything so maybe I just need to sit tight through this phase as KS said. And, if I was spoon feeding baby, I'd be a lot happier tooing and frooing BUT the baby is still only 4 months (started at 7 weeks) so it's just milk and all the getting her up and down during a feed isn't nice for her little tummy - she just wants a nice relaxed feed Once she's in a highchair I'll find life a LOT easier!

Can I now ask another question.........

Do you think it's ok to continue giving what fruit/yoghurt the kids want or should I decide what they are having and that's that? I'm not going to start preparing puddings/jellies etc. I have no time to start doing these extra things and tbh, I don't want my ds having things like that, he's always been happy with fruit and yoghurt

Hi Looneytune

I don't see anything wrong with you deciding what fruit is available to the children on particular days; I always do this but that is mainly because if a particular fruit is not being chosen then it just goes to waste (I hate seeing food wasted! ); but I do always have a choice of two. This luckily has always worked out for me. Like you I really do not have time to prepare puddings apart from the odd banana cake (made with the bananas that have got a bit too ripe!) so I just offer fruit and Yoghurt....

I meant that your ds shouldn't have to wait for his dessert, but that your mindee will have to get to grips with still finishing off her meal before she gets hers.

My mindees don't seem to have a problem that they are all eating different things, and some may be eating something yummy whilst others are still on their "bread and dripping" stage. I am probably lucky that they don't argue about it really, and that they don't seem to have a problem if one leaves the table because they've finished (my grandmother would be appalled!)

I am really just trying to get you to instill bad table manners in your children!

GOOD TIP: sprinkle cut up fruit with a little lemon juice and it won't brown.

My ds prefers fruit and yog to a hot pud too! If you don't mind them picking carry on, it's just finding what works best for each individual really isn't it? We all do things differently.

I'd start feeding the mindee dinner first lol

ok if you remove the snack rom her the first time she leaves the sheet, im sure it wont take her more than a day or 2 to learn that she musnt get off the sheet

so dont chase her and make her come back, simply take it away! she will very soon learn to stay on your sheet!

make sure you say "you eat your food on the sheet please, or else i will take it away" though first so that she knows