CM Club - tips for settling a 9 week old baby............

[looneytune]

Morning

I started with a new baby last week (Thursday's & Friday's), they are now 9 weeks old.

Yesterday afternoon was bad for a few hours, none stop crying unless I held her a certain way - laying on her tummy over my right arm (iykwim). If I stopped standing and went to sit down with her in the same position, she woke up. She was so tired that the crying turned into screaming very loud unless this was done

This is the baby I'm being paid double for so can provide 1:1 care and it's only her and my ds (just turned 4) so not as difficult as it would be if I has other mindees HOWEVER, I do need to go to the toilet, eat etc. so can't always be doing this walking about. Yesterday I was so hungry and should have made something to eat but the screaming was SO loud (very very overtired cry) that I felt I couldn't leave her, bless her.

I spoke to mum when she collected and she said it's the same at home, she has to walk around holding her or put her in the bouncer chair and constantly bounce with her foot. At one point I went out for a drive to try and settle her (had to pick ds up from friends anyway) and she finally settled after about 5 mins but as soon as the engine was turned off, she woke up screaming and wouldn't stop until I was driving again.

Any tips? I know the way to go is definitely not to rock her but what do you do when they are screaming so loud. Also, she's only here 2 days a week and if mum rocks at home, it's going to be harder.

Suggestions please

p.s. I also feel really for my ds who was basically ignored when he came home yesterday and all he wanted to do was play

You need to chat to the mum and get a concerted plan of attack. TBH, at that age, I would say invest in a sling so you can carry her around. If you're going to try leaving her to cry for a bit, you'd need to have the mum on your side and I don't think many people are that happy about such a young baby being left to cry...

I wasn't leaving her to cry, I'd just put her down to see how she did (i.e. if she'd settled on me/gone to sleep) and she'd scream so I'd pick her up again. Just wanted to make that clear (otherwise I would have had time to eat)

Sorry, didn't mean that was what you had been doing. I just meant if you were thinking about going down that route. One of my antenatal class was alright about leaving her baby to cry and I think it did work in the end, but I couldn't do it at such a young age myself.

Do you have a sling you can use?

Hi looney, I have just started a 7 month old and am in a similar situation with regards sleeping at mine- used to being rocked etc,anyway have found the good old white noise distraction works well(that is untill the washer goes into it's manic spin cycle), agree with maybe the sling being a good idea.

will try my sling if she gets upset, thanks So far today has been much better, fingers crossed it stays that way

Hi Looneytune

I too would second the use of the sling - good luck and let us know if this helps

Hi, me again

Ask the mum to take her to see a cranial ostepath - I'm sure I've told the you the stories.

She can talk to me ( she'll can get it on medical insurance) & I'll recommend a very good one.

Poor little baby

Thanks Tan & Mojo

Mojo - she went the other day and it cleared her snotty nose and she poo'd quite quickly after and she was a lot better. I mentioned your dd (no names of course) but didn't know if she had this as a baby? How often does she need to go do you think? You may meet her actually as i've suggested she comes to toddlers on a Monday to see where I take her baby. She's up for this and is looking at her diary. BTW, you heard from au pair?

just emailed you

We'll be there on Monday.

DD1 had 6 sessions - I wished I'd taken her earlier.

I just worry when babies cry all the time - worry for them, for their mums, everyone !

Update:

Sling no good - she doesn't like it at all. Maybe the sort that wrap round them and leave them in laying down position may help but I'm sorry, I can't afford to buy another one just in case it might work.

Last week I was on top of the world, thought I'd cracked the answer to all her problems, this week has been TERRIBLE, thank god it's only 2 days a week - that's enough though Last week she slept when I picked ds up at 12.45 from nursery (lunch club). She slept about 2 hours and was a different baby. Same next day and parents kept me up to date saying she'd slept better at night and is now sleeping 12 hours So I'm pretty sure she gets overtired but if she has a nice long sleep, she's great

So, there was me, looking forward to having her yesterday and it was awful. Tired but wouldn't settle no matter what I tried, it gets much worse in the afternoon but that's when I have 2 other children and is it fair to ignore them? NO! Mum told me she'd been the same the day before and this morning dad said she did do a poo last night so hopefully today she'll be better. It started off great, settled for sleep at 10-10.30 then the same way off to sleep from 12-12.30 BUT I had to pick ds so put her in car seat at 12.30 and so she never went back to sleep properly. I'm sure she'd have been fine if had longer but I had to go out!

One minute I think her poos are the problem, another I'm convinced it's sleep but then she cries and cries all the time it sometimes seems to be a position thing (even dad said she seems to want to sit up all the time), today a mum mentioned her husband is a 'classic' Oestopath and they do things very differently and she seemed to think it sounds like 'reverse curves' or something like that, I can't even remember. She reckons he could give an idea over the phone and know for sure with one visit. So, I'm going to pass details on but unless it's a problem like that, I haven't got a bloody clue and I'm so down with it. It's not babies fault but believe me, I can see 100% why mum decided she couldn't bear it at home and also why she wanted to pay double.

I really feel like giving notice but I'm not a quitter and I'm quite stubborn and when she's not here and things are calmer, I decide I'm going to keep at it.

Sorry for the waffle, I've had enough today!

Even burst into tears at one point once kids had gone and ds (4) saw me and cuddled me saying 'it's ok mummy, i'll cuddle you and cheer you up' and then went to get me a tissue!! bless him but for it getting to me so much.

Update:

Sling no good - she doesn't like it at all. Maybe the sort that wrap round them and leave them in laying down position may help but I'm sorry, I can't afford to buy another one just in case it might work.

Last week I was on top of the world, thought I'd cracked the answer to all her problems, this week has been TERRIBLE, thank god it's only 2 days a week - that's enough though Last week she slept when I picked ds up at 12.45 from nursery (lunch club). She slept about 2 hours and was a different baby. Same next day and parents kept me up to date saying she'd slept better at night and is now sleeping 12 hours So I'm pretty sure she gets overtired but if she has a nice long sleep, she's great

So, there was me, looking forward to having her yesterday and it was awful. Tired but wouldn't settle no matter what I tried, it gets much worse in the afternoon but that's when I have 2 other children and is it fair to ignore them? NO! Mum told me she'd been the same the day before and this morning dad said she did do a poo last night so hopefully today she'll be better. It started off great, settled for sleep at 10-10.30 then the same way off to sleep from 12-12.30 BUT I had to pick ds so put her in car seat at 12.30 and so she never went back to sleep properly. I'm sure she'd have been fine if had longer but I had to go out!

One minute I think her poos are the problem, another I'm convinced it's sleep but then she cries and cries all the time it sometimes seems to be a position thing (even dad said she seems to want to sit up all the time), today a mum mentioned her husband is a 'classic' Oestopath and they do things very differently and she seemed to think it sounds like 'reverse curves' or something like that, I can't even remember. She reckons he could give an idea over the phone and know for sure with one visit. So, I'm going to pass details on but unless it's a problem like that, I haven't got a bloody clue and I'm so down with it. It's not babies fault but believe me, I can see 100% why mum decided she couldn't bear it at home and also why she wanted to pay double.

I really feel like giving notice but I'm not a quitter and I'm quite stubborn and when she's not here and things are calmer, I decide I'm going to keep at it.

Sorry for the waffle, I've had enough today!

Even burst into tears at one point once kids had gone and ds (4) saw me and cuddled me saying 'it's ok mummy, i'll cuddle you and cheer you up' and then went to get me a tissue!! bless him but for it getting to me so much.

Crace - just replied on other thread but basically, mum says the poos are wetter now and not such a problem? I'm not sure as I don't see her poos as usually at night

Wow, none of that seems to help you at all! Catherine was like that, she really liked sitting up too, and I used to prop her so she could see the world. Or I had a baby bjorn and would throw her in there if she got too much..

I have to be honest, it was a lot for even me some days and I was her mummy!

What did you do that changed things those days she was happy and calm?

Her feeds started around 8.45am (obviously some earlier but this is what I do know), she'd come to me at 9.30 so next feed around 11.45 then 2.45. Me getting her to have good sleep last week resulted in her sleeping much better at night too so a whole new routine started and now first feed is it 8am then 11am, 2pm, 5pm...... So, now she's up earlier, she's wanting a nap by 10am resulting in wanting another one about 12ish but she's not getting a long enough sleep before I'm off out again. With the old feed times, she'd maybe have a very small nap in the morning, have a bottle at 11.45 then by the time that was finished and wind up etc, she'd go straight in the car seat and fall asleep on the nursery run. I admitted to parents that I kep her in her car seat so she totalled 2 hours in it and wake up at the end of the 2nd school run. Parents were fine and totally understood I did it for BABY's sake as she desperately needed the sleep and is so sensitive, you move her and you're doomed for the rest of the day!!!

Don't know if that made ANY sense at all - nothing makes any sense to me at the moment

So she is on formula, not ebm? I would coincide the feeds with nap time, as it makes them sleepy. Now is she happy on 3 hourly feeds, or does she need less? I.e. demand fed or not?

Because if it's just hunger that's easily solved!

PS - I agree never ever wake a sleeping babe I wouldn't move her either as long as she was safe, not hot etc (obvious stuff which I know you are doing)

Yes, it's formula and feeds are every 3 hours. Amount was increased last week after I said she looked like she wanted me - she did and still finishes the bottle. I do however think she was getting hungry yesterday a bit before 3 hours? Not always easy to tell though as she's still new to me and babies chewing their fists does not necessarily mean they are hungry

I'd love to put her down after bottles but mum wants her upright for half an hour after feeds to ensure well winded.

I'm glad you agree about sleeping baby - desperate measures needed with this one and dad straight away said 'of course you have to leave her sleeping, we do'. Of course I check body temp etc to make sure she's ok

I'm now dreading next Thursday