Please help me figure out a solution for my weird childcare needs

[TigerTown]

Hi all,

I am feeling really defeated and hoping someone can think of something that I am obviously missing.

I'm currently a SAHM to 17 month old, want to start freelancing. No local family to help. DH works long hours, and our DS still not sleep well so I am knackered. Would love a childcare solution that is regular enough so that my DS can bond with the carer and is predictable (in case I pick up freelance work) but I only need to be one day or two half days a week.

Issues I'm having finding a solution are:

• Nurseries in my area of London have insane waiting lists (I'm on 7 of them), and most require 2 full days attendance which we can't afford

• I have corresponded with at least 10 local childminders, all of who were not interested in anything less than 2 full days a week for a child this age (unless it was short term and likely to lead to more days)

• my DS is very sensitive and has huge separation anxiety issues, so is not great at being left with random people (i.e. if I was to just book babysitters each week)

• I've looked into a part time nanny, I can afford that if it was a nanny share situation but I have been put off by the complications of having to formally employ the nanny (the cost of administering payroll, being potentially liable for 28 weeks SSP, SMP, redundancy pay etc are prohibitive unless you're employing the nanny full time IMO)

Are there any options left? Or do I just have to accept that I am doomed to zero break from the DS ever, and no hope of freelancing :(

au pair?

I used a lovely retired lady at a similar stage - it tended to be a semi-regular half-day per week, then possibly extra hours or half days if I was attending interviews. She had previously been a nursery worker and was babysitting for other families, so I felt confident leaving my son in her charge.

I think that what you are looking for is an adult babysitter who is good with babies, rather than a nanny.

I recommend asking your friends (then asking them to ask their friends) if they are already using someone who wants to do a bit more.

Have you looked into term time only nurseries? In our bit of London full time 8am to 6pm type nurseries generally have very long waiting lists (2 years for some of the Baby rooms!) but I have recently found a couple which have more availability but are term time only. Happy to PM more details if you happen to be in SE London!

I’d also not rule out the nanny share which can work really well if you are looking for all year round cover. The payroll cost is only about £160 a year and any SMP is recoverable from the government (although it can take ages which stretched us a bit at times). Or you could look to join another family’s share so they are the nanny’s employer and you piggy back on to help them offset some of the costs. As you only want a couple of mornings it could work well with a family who have school aged children if you could be flexible on times, say 9.30am to 2.30pm. Koru kids is a newish website that helps to match nannies/families looking for compatible shares.

@RunningOutOfCharge I considered Au Pair but my husband feels too weird about sharing out home, and we don't really have the space anyway (we find it crowded with just the three of us)

@MaybeDoctor that is a good suggestion. I got a bit scared of doing this in case it bordered too far into 'that is techincally a nanny and therefore you should be emplyoying them/HMRC potential fine territory? Does anyone know where the boundary is between 'regular babysitter' and 'part time nanny'?

@BadgerFace - I haven't actually! I will PM you my location as I am not far from there. Piggy backing on someone else's share could work as well. I don't necessarily need year round cover just yet. If my freelancing picked up and became regular than I might, but it's a balancing act at the moment between putting enough childcare in place so that I can get work, but not having too much in place that we can't afford to pay for it if I don't.

Thanks for the suggestions so far, I am feeling less despondent!

The distinction lies in the ad-hoc nature of the work, them working for multiple families and being a contractor - they can turn work down.

Once you get into 'come every Tuesday and Thursday morning' - that is nanny territory.

For me the whole thing was simplified by the fact that she was already in receipt of a pension - regular income wasn't an issue for her so she was happy with an ad-hoc arrangement.

Co-work crèche? We use one in East London but I know there is a few sites across the city. A new one in Stoke Newington and an established one in Putney. If your East I saw a big sign up in London Fields for a new one opening.

I haven't head of co-work creche before, MuMuMummmm. The ones you mentioned aren't too close to me but I will take a look for local one.Thanks!

Maybe - good point. I think I'll ask around and see if anyone locally has someone who would be looking for extra hours

In my local area there are some women who offer regular babysitting or style themselves as self employed nannies, several families use them for childcare that varies each week. They advertise in local fb groups.

Find another mum who works a similar frequency to you and do a childcare swap. So when she works you look after her child and vice versa. Advantage is it's free, disadvantage you have to look after two kids sometimes.

Find someone who works 4 days and together look for a nursery or Childminder for five days, eg your child takes the place on the 5th day.