Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

Back to work for Summer Term - No Longer A Sole Charge Nanny - Help!

14 replies

nannynick · 15/04/2007 20:59

I am going to be doing shared-care this term, as the mother is on maternity leave.

Anyone got any tips on how to survive shared-care. Think some ground rules may need to be established, else the children will just play us off against each other.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Genidef · 15/04/2007 21:13

Come work for us. That's a solution.

Genidef · 15/04/2007 21:14

Sorry, I don't mean to be cheeky!

Original poster

nannynick · 15/04/2007 21:28

Not wanting to change job at this point, plus doubt you live in the village next to mine... do you?

OP posts:

Genidef · 15/04/2007 21:47

Where is your village? We are actually in North East London.

Judy1234 · 15/04/2007 22:00

I've worked at home when the children have been around with their nanny but I suppose that is not the same. She took them out a lot which was great for me and she managed to just keep them away from me so they weren't coming into my office all the time. That gets harder as they get older. When they're very little out of sight is out of mind.

I don't konw how shared care would really work very well. Why doesn't she just put her feet up or go out/relax and leave you to get on with it. Perhaps you could just agree she will have them say 2 hours in the afternoon or whatever she thinks would work or may be even if there are 2 children already splitting between you occasionally.

Genidef · 15/04/2007 22:38

nannynick I don't want you to panic about me having made that comment about the job. Part of the reason I said sorry about being cheeky is that we are planning to 'take a break from being employers' for a bit. I envision going back to a nanny but I need a breather and a rethink about who we should hire.

Coco will have a male nursery carer at this nursery - I know him from her previous time there. I can't believe people are uncomfortable with that - I would be pleased to hire one!

Original poster

nannynick · 16/04/2007 19:26

Today went pretty much as per usual - I took 2 of the children to the beach (mum took oldest to a friends house), thus she was then at home without any children and thus able to rest. Worked out well for all I think. Roll on the rest of the week, wonder how it will pan out.

OP posts:

nannyj · 16/04/2007 20:16

I think you are lucky Nick that the Summer is upon us so it's alot easier to get out of the house. I would find it hard but if you take it day by day you'll be fine. Good luck

NannyL · 16/04/2007 21:04

oooh i hate shared care...

should my mb be pregnant i KNOW i will be there when its her 9 months maternity leave.

however im sure this mb wil be fine (and shes not even pg yet)

i think the rules have to be while you are there you are in charge and what you say goes, but should mb be around and say something what Mb says then goes. ie you dont over rule mb either)

should you need to debate anything then discuss it when the chidlren are Not listening! good luck!

the other day my db was home.... my 4 year old went up and asked in a beautiful voice "daddy please can i have some apple juice" I only allow water between meals but because db said "yes of course you can" i just said nothing.... and let db go and make it for him!

fridayschild · 16/04/2007 21:17

I had a nanny at home while I was on maternity leave, till she went on maternity leave herself. Being able to rest was great! I said at the start of each week if there was anything special (or mundane) I wanted to do with the kids and then left them to it apart from that. Equally she did try to clear out of the house and would say if there was a day when they were going to play somewhere else, so I knew when I could go to the dentist etc without missing any fun. I generally re-appeared before tea time, and read stories while she cooked the tea/washed up. This seemed to go ok go from my perspective - I THINK my nanny would agree

The children were little at this stage, 18 months, so there wasn't too much playing off going on.

ScottishThistle · 17/04/2007 09:42

Nick it can work really well as long as you get on well with your Boss.

I had a problem as my Dad Boss worked from home most Fridays...We had to have a chat about me telling her something then her running to ask Daddy (he always has to check if I've been asked first).

It's pretty important that your employer doesn't undermine you whilst she's around otherwise the children get confused & don't know the boundaries.

I hope it works well for you!

Judy1234 · 18/04/2007 13:05

Undermining alwayas an issue. I had one child in here reporting his nanny had changed the plans they had. I always just fob the children off, change the subject and have a chat with them. I don't think you really can have two people around in charge and it's better if physically you can be out or the parent out or at the least she has her door locked,

GeeGee2 · 18/04/2007 23:33

Generally when I was on maternity leave, I kept out of the way as far as possible to minimise the DC playing us off against each other. I also felt that this would make it easier on the nanny - no one wants to feel that their boss is watching them the whole time. I also found that she organised lots of activities outside the home that year as well!

I would however read to the children whilst the nanny made their tea.

If I wanted to take the children out, I cleared it with the nanny and then put it in the diary.

Once I had the baby, I looked after the baby whilst she looked after the older ones, but I tried to make sure she spent a bit of time with the baby so that they could get used to each other.

I also made it clear to the children that even though I was at home, my nanny was in charge of them and there was no use coming to me. All requests for food / drinks / games / outings etc had to go via the nanny. Likewise I made it clear to my nanny that I would back her up over any discipline matters, but I would expect her to instigate it so that there was no confusion as to who was in charge.

Judy1234 · 19/04/2007 08:19

GG, that's what I do and I work at home a lot. When the twins were born I was very worried about how the nanny and I would cope. She was sole charge. She brought them in to me for feeding or usually I came out - can't feed one on each side in my office, needed a settee and cushions. She took them out a lot - I think she had a kind of 5 day rota with her friends and the babies they looked after who came here one day a week and I was glad they were out. Some mothers might have wanted them home more but I was happy.

She was brilliant at managing it. I kept out of the way and tried if I left the office at home to do it when they wouldn't see me. Sometimes I'd have a toddler banging on the office door and as they've got older if they've had something only I can soothe they come to me and sometimes if there's a huge fight going on between them it's helpful one can come to me and she, the current part time nanny, deals with the other.

Flip