Please help with childcare options- all too expensive!!

[silverbgirl]

I am trying so hard to get a job that pays better... but so far I can only make 30k. I have no idea how it’s not possible for me to be in the negative with childcare in London.
I have a 7,6 and 1 year old.
After school club costs £100 a week for the older two... added to full time childminder or daycare for little one it’s more than my salary. I thought a nanny but everyone says I would have to pay £10 an hour or more because of three kids... which would be £100 or more per day... also more than I net.... so what do I do? How is there no help for this situation?

Assuming that's aimed at me. I'd day bills are also a joint cost. If every penny from a 38k salary is going on bills I think you need to look at reducing those. Check you're on cheapest utilities, meal plan etc. Is he paying for anything you don't really need like unused gym memberships and tv packages you don't watch. A good money sort out could help. Assuming after tax it's about £2k take home that's a lot for bills even in central London. If it's rent could you move to a cheaper area?

agree.. it’s not about ‘joint costs’ it’s about total household net.
we have no unnecessary bills, and yes our rent is very high... but I have yet to find an area of London that’s not high and my kids adore their school, so I am not so keen to move. Besides that’s a whole other debate.

The point is... I just don’t understand how childcare is so expensive. I just don’t understand why working puts us at even or negative. And I cannot look further afield because leaving the area for cheaper childcare/minder would only make our commutes and drop offs harder to make it to work on time.

I do wish we had room for an au pair... but we don’t. Again we are already paying a fortune for a tiny 3 bed.

The reason it doesn't add up is not because childcare is too expensive but that average wages have stagnated, and the pay gap between those at the top and those at the bottom (or in the middle) has opened into a huge, unsustainable chasm. Childcare workers can't live on less, and nurseries would close were it cheaper, but you and I should be seeing more of the money we're helping our employers earn. It should at least be keeping with the rise in living costs, but it isn't! And meanwhile the richest get richer. The trickle down effect doesn't exist.

You don't say where you are which is understandable. But I shortened my commute by moving further out - train faster than underground! But yes understand if kids have friends nearby etc it's hard to move.
I have friends in very expensive areas with nice nursery for around the £60 mark though. Could you go on local groups and ask for recommendations?
Also many jobs advertised as full time are flexible if asked. I previously worked condensed hours (5 days into 4) and DH does 3 slightly longer days. It means salary is almost the same but you'd only have to find 2 days childcare not 5. This is the only way we afford childcare. Working from home if available also shortens commutes.
Definitely worth you both asking. They might say no but nothing to lose!

Au pair plus childminder for the youngest?
Keep going OP, it is worthy taking the job as you’ll be making much more money in the long run than you would stating at home

As others have said, it's not so much that childcare is expensive but that wages have stagnated and the cost of living is rising. No help I know. Is the job one that has good prospects, in a sector you want to work in? If so I would grit your teeth, take the job and keep looking for ways to save money.

yes i agree... cost of living in general is an issue. collapse of middle class... but the UK is still the highest in the world for childcare and i can’t help think this contributes to less women in top positions.

I do want the job, and i hope it will lead to something better... but who knows.

and all the while i am dropping my baby off at ‘the cheapest i can find’ place..killing myself to get me and three kids ready in the morning... only to make no money... 😢 it’s not very settling.

the point is... I just don’t understand how childcare is so expensive. I just don’t understand why working puts us at even or negative.

But those doing the childcare also need to earn a wage. You are also at more of a disadvantage as you live in London and have more than 1/2 children. Plus stagnated wages etc as others have mentioned.

You live in an expensive area, the childcare premises is in an expensive area they pay to rent that building the business rates are high. The wage bill is minimum wage for staff who may well have children and probably have to drop theirs off to childcare before commuting in from an area that they can afford to live in. My daughter pays £300 a week to get to work and travels 2 to 3 hours a day to work in a Kensington Nursery for £18,000 a year she worked on learning journeys all of the half term holiday. She has a degree.
Sometimes you have to move your children to afford life sometimes you can give up luxuries. Plenty of people would love to earn £68k but have to live on less.

Does DH have any flexibility? E.g. applying for compressed hours (4.5 days worked over 4 days) or working 7-3 and doing school pickups, or 9-3 and then a couple of hours from home? You basically need to use less childcare, either for the older kids or the baby or both. In our situation my DH worked 4 long days and did 1 day childcare and I returned part time, although I appreciate you don't currently have a job so part time isn't going to work for you. You might be able to negotiate some flexibility though.

If you barely survived on £38 k plus maternity pay , you need budgeting advice not childcare advice.

MyDC - I think op is in London, with a hefty mortgage that salary wouldn’t go far

If it’s £100 per day it’s actually only £80 per day if you pay for it with a tax free childcare account.

Have you looked for a childminder? They’re generally cheaper than nursery.

Op.. you say you don't understand why childcare is so expensive but people have explained. Several times.
I'm a nanny. I hold a degree and I put my all into my job. I hate how you're making jobs a hierarchy. You and I are both degree educated. We are both (presumably) good at our jobs. Who decides who should earn more? This is my career. That is yours. Why is there a hierarchy? There is no rule. Why do footballers earn so much? Why are nursery workers paid so little?
£10 per hour for a nanny in London is an absolute steal. You have 3 children and that is why childcare is expensive.

first of all this is not a debate of salary. I am not suggesting a nanny get paid less... I am just pointing out that for a woman to stay at work with more than one child it is impossible. Could you as a nanny getting £10 an hour pay childcare costs for your own three children???? Or would you find yourself in my position being forced to stay out of work as the costs don’t add up.

I think that childcare is a lot to pay but not a lot to charge.

If you can go back to work, do. It’s future proofing! Even if you end up at zero it’s worth it. Are you getting a pension? What about other perks? It’ll get easier and far better to be in a job now than waiting.
Take some time and see if you can shave anything off your outgoings with your DH. Can either of you flex or compress hours? With the aim being you both work FT hours over 4 days so that the children only need childcare over 3 days. One works Mon-Thu, the other Tue to Fri.
Rack those brains, crowdsource time and money saving ideas. It’ll pay off in the long run.

No, you're right silver I couldn't. But that's just what happens when you have kids. Either one parent takes some time off work while the children are young or you both continue to work to keep careers consistent which in the long run could benefit. Some of the families I work for will work a mixture of days. Perhaps dad works mon- weds. Mum works weds to Fri meaning only one day of childcare needed. It just seemed like your post was making a dig at childcare costs when it was your choice to have 3 children. So while they are young you must have expected childcare would be pricey.

With a child-minder you wouldn't be paying £10 fro every hour you would e paying £4 to £6 you would only pay more when your chidlrne are home so look at after school clubs shortening your working day or one of you go in early and finish early and one go late finish late then split your holiday between you so you have a week or two as a family and the other 4 to 6 in school holidays separate then your paying 6 to 8 weeks of holiday club - or do half days as holiday so you can make use of the cheaper school hour clubs.

our working hours are not flexible. we can both do drop off and neither of us finish in time for 6pm pick up. we don’t have the option of starting early/leaving early.

and I did not plan on having 3 kids.... my birth control failed... so now I am in a situation that was not planned and trying to figure out what to do

I also didn’t plan on the job I had... which was flexible, not renewing my contract whilst pregnant.

So now I am trying to decide on a new job, but finding it very tricky to see the benefit of working but essentially bringing home no profit...

Is this the job you've been offered that will allow you to do drop off but where you'll have to work till after 6pm? Ask them if you can shift it to an earlier start and earlier finish, and explain why. If they really want you, they may look at it. If not then they've missed out on their first choice candidate because of it.

What did you do for childcare when you had 2 under 2? You seem horrified about entirely reasonable costs so how did you cope then?
The reality of the situation is you can't afford your current lifestyle. About a third of my friends have left London once they started having kids to reduce their living costs. If you really couldn't afford this baby you should have dealt with the situation at the time - double up on contraception and terminate.

It is really tough when you are trying to juggle the new job vs new childcare conundrum. It all seems so simple when you see other mums returning to an existing job with a supportive employer, but if you are out of work you then have to go in and impress a new employer at a time when you are least well placed to do so.

My honest advice would be to be a SAHM for a year. Childcare will be much cheaper when your baby is two, your older children will be more independent and you can take your time to get the right balance of job, family and childcare.

Child care is expensive because the people who run these places know people need the child care and will pay. me and my partner bring in around 40k a year as I'm an apprentice and still training, try affording child care and renting on that wage when nurseries want £45 per day plus having a car so my partner can get to work (and no it's not in cycling distance) plus we've just all been in a car accident with an uninsured driver who ran off so had to buy another car as there was no one to claim against. We'd love to be bringing in £68k a year joint wouldn't complain at that but even we have found a way to pay for child car and yes it is out of our own wages we do not receive benefits we use childcare.co.uk had go through a childminder we've had to sort all this as I come off maternity leave June next year. I wouldn't complain too much. Maybe you need to think about renting a smaller place with a smaller rent bill even if that means that your kids have to share a room for a year or so. Not being rude but some people are yet to appreciate what they earn in comparison to others who are on the bare minimum and get no help