CM Club: Feeling threatened here a bit...do you think I should?

[KaySamuels]

A while ago a new cm set up shop quite near to me. Fine, until I found out she had been directly approaching my mindee's parents to offer her services ! (knowing I minded for them) My mindee told me!

Anyway I am off soon for a week and a week in September and have found out mindee will be going to this minder. Feel quite worried about it as from previous behaviour I am sure she will go all out to get mindee's approval while she has her. I know there is noting I can do but I am easily anxious and I'm finding this quite upsetting.

I know mindee loves coming here, has even said she prefers being here to being at home! I do planned activities and outings, cook her meals she likes, give her my time, etc. Just feel a bit uneasy about it....do you think I'm being silly??

Lost my first indee to leave last month and was surprised how upset I was about her leaving! (leaving as her dad had stepped up and was happy to have her more). I had got so attatched and I guess thats influencing how I feel about this holiday situation.

You are NOT being silly, this other childminding is appauling imo!!! I mean, there's always competition but she KNOWS these parents use you and is trying to STEAL your customers as that's wrong, especially as we are talking about children!!!

I'd be soooo if I were you!!

As for the attachment thing, I'm afraid that is part of the job and you just have to get used to it

Try and enjoy your time off, she's made it hard though hasn't she!!!

Yes I'm quite upset about her under hand behaviour to be honest, before I found out about this when people called me if I didn't have the space I would be telling them about new minder down xxstreet, why don't you call her etc! Grr!

I'm also upset as I know I won't relax now while I am off...not the best at unwinding as it is!

That is really hideous! I can't believe someone would do that. I don't think there is much you can do, short of begging your parents not to leave you for her and that would just look crap. I think in the future, I would try to find another minder that you can work with in the case of holidays and days off and never mention her name to anyone again. Poor you!

I hope u all don't think I'm crazy! There is another minder in our area who I get on with (by that I mean we speak to each other - new minder gives you a b!tchy look when you walk up to her), are friendly, see each other at various playgroups and so on. I am very friendly honest! She is full up tho so couldn't cover for me.

Another family I mind are moving onto new minders street soon too but mum has told me will still be bringing kids to me.

I know princesscc - can hardly say anything can I??!! Will just look silly!

at cm, but tell mindee you will be buying her a faberoony pressy from hol for when you get back.shell do nothing but talk about you

What do the parents of your mindee say about it? Do they realise how unprofessional this other minder is being? Are they using her when you are away because this new minder suggested it?

It would be nice if they could reassure you about it all (not something you can really ask outright). It's really not acceptable that the minder behaves like this and, hopefully, is the sort of thing that might actually put parents off using her.

Perhaps you could put on your Really Friendly Mrs. Nice Guy hat on, and be really really pleasant to her!! Ask her if it's OK to pass her telephone number on to anyone who's interested (err ... maybe) etc.

Its really quite unbelievable isn't it? I know that in big companies its kind of acceptable to headhunt so to speak, but surely all us cm's should stick together, shouldn't we? I'm not makng much sense, but I know what I mean! I have a lovely relationship with all the cms at my school and one started up across the road from me about 3 years ago. Me & her always share contacts and neither of us have trod on each others toes. We use each other as emergency cms and I wouldn't dream of poaching from her. I real do feel for you KS.

Parents haven't mentioned it really tp, mindee has told me (she's 11). New minder had offered her services a while ago so assuming parent remembered and asked her, they live quite close to each other.

Don't really know what I can say to the mum but will try and broach it later without appearing needy or slating other minder's tactics!

Am gonna take the present advice too pinkchick!

I don't think the parents realise how strange it was of her to zone in on my current mindees families. But if it were me I would think it was odd tbh - even if just from a moral and ethical point of view!

Don't know if I can face befriending her, is one of these cliquey gossipy mums in the playground who is always dressed immaculately in heels, huddled with similar mums all giving others who pass and smile funny looks. I hate the playground can you tell!!

people will realise that taking so much effort to look like a footballers wife on school run means less time for their little ones and will get wise..and shell realise that baby slavver and encrusted ceral on clothes is actually the norm..people will be able to 'see' how good a cm she is when faced with these situations..fingers crossed

Uck, the Yummy Mummy brigade I call it. I find it so annoying myself - so cliquey and I live in a very small village. I am "earthy" in my dress, and make up does not play into my dress code. However, coffee stains, baby spit up and snot do.

Sorry that you are having to deal with this, so unprofessional.

Kay we had a CM here at one time, like your problem she was always done up to the nines house was immaculate, I had three sets of parents say to me that they had gone to see her, but wouldn't use her as herself and her house didn't look 'child friendly'.
Myself on the other hand did!, must have been the snot and paint in my hair and the upside down house.

Shosha, you know I actually worry about people coming in and seeing the carnage but I suppose that means/shows they are having fun!

i have a lovely poem from my tutor about a cm's hosue, ill dig it out and post it

You have all made me feel a lot better about it so thanks, I have thought in the past that the important thing would be to be child friendly (which I like to think I am naturally on a confident day). I never wear make up, have hair tied back, shoes I can run in etc! I would rather people noted me playing with the kids in playground than standing on sidelines (not just mindees - all the kids seem to know my name ). I often have snot/paint/etc on top too and dp often jokes we will tidy up when ds is 18!!

Glad it's not just me and I am in very good company with you all!