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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

what to do if child turns up filthy(not just mornings worth)

22 replies

kittypants · 11/04/2007 11:05

ive started looking after a baby of a friend of a friend.today is first day(hes sleeping now)he arrived at 9.30am caked in food and snot,it wasnt just this mornings worth looking at him.i had to wipe his face and hands before he played.also his pushchair is filthy too so if i go out im going to have to put my lo(same age) in sling and him in our pushchair.do i say anything?if so what?

OP posts:

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nannynick · 11/04/2007 11:31

Could chat with the child's parent (whom ever collects) regarding how they are coping?
How did they find getting ready for work, baby ready to come to you?

Different families have different standards when it comes to cleanliness, so try not to be too judgemental. Instead see if you can find ways of helping, if the family are having difficulties.

crace · 11/04/2007 11:35

I am not sure what I would do, knowing me - nothing. Different people have different standards, and I would hate to embarrass them if they feel this is the "norm" for them.

Tricky situation. I would just do the same, clean them up, change them and might even tackle the pushchair.. whatever I felt comfortable with..

Original poster

kittypants · 11/04/2007 12:33

they do not work,the parents are the dad whos just got custody of the child and his 16 year old girlfriend,they need a break.the only reason i was bit put out is because my ds is same age and i felt i had to clean him before he played with my los stuff.hope that doesnt make me sound snobby as im far from it.io think i will not say anything.thankyou.

OP posts:

dejags · 11/04/2007 12:38

there is nothing you can do.

If you raise it with the babies carers, you will definitely offend them.

Personally - I'd ask them if they have any objections to you bathing the baby once every other day (on the pretext that it's part of your routine).

I'd also ask them to send two or three sets of spare clothes (a very standard thing to do). You can stick them through the laundry and that way you'll ensure the baby is clean when with you?

crace · 11/04/2007 12:43

No, not snobby at all - it's hygiene and part of the standards anyway for keeping toys clean.

I think dejags suggestions are very good ones. I would do the same for the bath time, in fact I have a 12 month old mindee that is with me until 6pm and I bathe her with my own 16 mo daughter at night. It's only because I am going to do it anyway, I asked them would they like me to. They are very clean with her though - I feel bad sending her home mucky they are so clean!

Saying something would no doubt offend, I would just wash him and clothes if you can...

ScummyMummy · 11/04/2007 12:43

hard one. Is the "filth" affecting the baby? Does it have nappy rash or seem distressed? Is it putting rotten food in its mouth? As others have said, it is very subjective, cleanliness. If i thought a baby was filthy i would definitely say something but that's because my standards are extremely low and if I was stuck by the dirtiness of a baby it would be at near abusive levels such as one has a moral obligation to put a stop to. So i think it might be worth thinking where you are on the "cleanliness" scale a bit. If you are very high think about whether the dirt is actually harming the child before interveneing.

KaySamuels · 11/04/2007 12:57

As you already know the dad and his parnter are struggling I wouldn't bring it up, unless in a sympathetic way such as 'it's a real task getting a baby up and ready in a morning isn't it?!' type way.

Don't understand about the pushchair - would you have had two single pushchairs on your hands today?
I would ask for a few spare sets of clothing as dejags suggests and just be prepared to give him a good wash and a change when you get him.

If it were me I would hope that with your support and encouragement the dad and girlfriend would improve over time. However I think I would also record times dates and details of anything like this incase you do have any more concerns.

soak · 11/04/2007 13:27

do they have much support from their family(not financially but pointing in right direction with bringing up children)?

at 16 they are still quite young and naive themselves and if their families haven't/wont help they might welcome someone to say 'this is what you should do', 'babies pick up all sorts and try and put in mouth so keep stuff inc pushchair clean' etc.

another way would be to lie and wash the pushchair cover (if it removes!) and say something got spilt and you didnt want it to stain/smell!!!!! - same goes for baby!

SoupDragon · 11/04/2007 13:44

I think you're overreacting. It's his first day! How can you judge on one day ???

Blimey, you should see DD on the morning when she has a cold. There's snot everywhere.

NappiesGaloreeatsBoysonToast · 11/04/2007 13:51

mine are caked in snot at the mo, despite 3 zillion nosewipes per hour...
and they feed themselves, so theres food about them.
and my buggies have always got ground in biscuit, melted blobs of choc god knows what in them...
i am a Perfect Mother.

not sure what the prob is ...

princesscc · 11/04/2007 14:06

I would just keep an eye on things for a few weeks. It may be that this morning was a one off afterall. But like someone else has said, as a childminder you do have an obligation to make sure your charges are OK. We are told that if a child constantly arrives dirty or without the correct things it is abuse, and whilst I am not suggesting that it is at this stage, I think its your job to keep an eye on things. I think I'd lie about the pushchair too and give it a good scrub!!

Aimsmum · 11/04/2007 14:08

Message withdrawn

princesscc · 11/04/2007 14:10

NGBT - Most kids look like that at some stage - I know mine did, but they at leas start off clean don't they? Thing is, we hear so many stories of neglect on the TV, where people in authority have ignored the signs, as cm's are now OFSTED registered, we have to look for things like this. I know its very sad and I know this probably is nothing more than a bad morning, BUT if its not and things get worse, how would kitty feel if she knew and had done nothing?

NappiesGaloreeatsBoysonToast · 11/04/2007 14:30

i quite agree princess, now you mention it.

just saying the grubbiness alone is not damning evidence of neglect.

i would absolutely keep a v good eye on the whole situation, were i the cm in question.

i sincerely hope it all works out an the little person involved is happy and well loved

princesscc · 11/04/2007 14:41

No, you are quite right - just better to be safe than sorry! And there's nothing better than seeing a grubby kid at the end of the day - it means they've had fun!!

PinkChick · 11/04/2007 19:51

they may not be managing well not to sound patronising but a 16 yr old girl wont know a lot esp if the baby isnt hers and dad is prob young too???..id ask for spare set of clothes, purposly get the paints out, let him get coverd and ring put him in bath, tell parent he was full of paint, so you bathed him, but look at this lovely picture..give him a wipe when he comes, check for neglect, but(and im the same) sometimes our own high standards are not the same as other peoples that is the difficult part.
while he is with you he will be happy, clean and healthy, thats a good start, maybe keep you ears open for parent craft classes, i get details thru quite often..or have a look on internet for help with certain things, then leave printouts, booklets lying around or pinned to notice board..good luck..ive had same myself, parents are not bad people, but dont feel the same about cleanliness and hygeine as i do

PinkChick · 11/04/2007 19:52

that sounded bad 'check for neglect' i meant check its not more than yesterdays clothes etc

Original poster

kittypants · 12/04/2007 10:02

thankyou,great ideas and thankyou all for not shouting at me(i did panic as things can be taken wrong way without meaning too!).i wouldnt say my standards are high at all.it wasnt like he had breakfast round his mouth it was more than that,yesterdays dirt by look of it.i know theyve had a not good visit by hv who tried giving pointers but ended up upsetting them.pinkchick-great idea,as i have phone number so i could phone first saying there all mucky do they mind me bathing them.worth a try.
forgetting all that-it was a great day and he is a lovely little boy.my children and he got on great and we had lots of fun.thanks again.

OP posts:

Original poster

kittypants · 12/04/2007 10:03

by the way i didnt say anything.

OP posts:

franyfroo · 12/04/2007 10:39

i have had babies turn up still in the night nappy, and/or filthy with snot, food vomit etc. It is hard to say anything. I always insist on a couple of clean outfits, so I usually, sort them out myselves. They always go home clean and shiny. But parents just never take hints. Some people just live like that.
I have all my own pushchairs, so no prob there

maximummummy · 13/04/2007 00:28

if you have baby same age as new mindee how come you arn't using a double buggy? Both famillies i mind for have DIGUSTINGLY FILTHY pushchairs and i'd be ashamed to be seen out with them and i can promise you i'm in no way snobby or house proud I HATE CLEANING!!! i have my own pushchairs for minding which makes things simple so theres no need for parents to bring their manky pushchairs!!!

nallydoolally · 13/04/2007 00:37

definitely a good idea to have a double buggy (or two) around the place as a cm. never know when you might need one.
i think i would, same as everyone else, just keep an eye on it.
good night all x

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