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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What is the protocol?

24 replies

Earlybird · 10/04/2007 14:13

If dd and occasional babysitter (not a regular nanny) have been around the house all day, and pop to the high street for a change of scenery/fresh air...and stop at Starbucks for muffin/hot chocolate....does babysitter's drink/snack come from kitty money?

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nannyj · 10/04/2007 14:44

Yes normally it would but it's not something she should abuse. I only do it once in a while.

sunnyjim · 10/04/2007 15:06

not with an occasional babysitter no, I'd say help yourself to cuppa's etc in our house. But unless I've asked her to go out then a starbucks coffee is her money nto mine.

I used to pay for; coffee at playgroups or things I'd agreed with her that DS went to, entrance for swimming etc (DS went free), bus fares, and she could help herself to food for lunch, tea juice etc to drink at home.

Having coffee at starbucks is not part of a job description!

fresh air = park and cups of tea/snacks happen at home.

MissGolightly · 10/04/2007 15:10

I'd say it depends on your DD's age and who initiated the trip. If your DD is the one who wants to go to Starbucks and the sitter is accompanying her then it would be a nice gesture to pay for both of them, although I would feel she should check with me first.

If your DD is little and the outing is primarily for the babysitter's enjoyment then no, it should come out of the baby sitter's money!

dmo · 10/04/2007 20:03

so as i took 9 children to the farm all day should i ask for 20p from each parent to pay for my brew

and on that subject took the kids to the farm phoned to book and it was £3.50 each so i asked each parent for £4
got there and fee had gone upto £4 than it was £1 each for the train, £1 each for ice-cream and 70p for an extra drink each

do i get any extra from parents do i pump

Original poster

Earlybird · 11/04/2007 15:11

Here's the context: I was going to the high street for a meeting (2:00, so after lunch), and suggested that dd/babysitter ride with me in the car for a change of scenery (it had been raining all morning, and they hadn't been out of the house).

I gave babysitter £10 thinking it would be enough for a hot chocolate for dd, and had told dd she could use the rest to buy a book at the bookstore. I picked them up 90 minutes later. DD had got her hot chocolate, and babysitter had got herself a cappucino and muffin. There wasn't enough money left over to buy a book, so dd was moping.

It's not a big thing, but it did take me back a bit. It honestly never occured to me to give enough money to include snack for babysitter - hence my question about protocol. Just trying to get a sense of how to handle these sorts of things in future...oh, and if it matters, this was our first time using this woman to sit for dd.

OP posts:

Soapbox · 11/04/2007 15:14

If you suggested outing and babysitter was 'on duty' then you should pay.

I think it would be mean to expect her to pay for her own refreshments whilst she is working for you.

mogs0 · 11/04/2007 15:17

If you had suggested your dd have a hot choc then I would think it fair that you pay for the babysitter to have something too.

Starbucks is way over priced anyway!!!

nannyj · 11/04/2007 15:26

If i had been in your babysitters position and knew the left over money had been promised to your child i would have bought a basic drink. Was a bit cheeky buying food too just for herself.

Original poster

Earlybird · 11/04/2007 15:39

OK - thanks for replies. In future, I will plan on enough money to include snack for babysitter too.

And nannyj - interesting that you picked up on the food/drink part of this scenario. I felt petty saying that babysitter's snack probably cost twice as much as dd's. But the thought had crossed my mind.....

OP posts:

Eleusis · 11/04/2007 15:53

Agree with nannyj. The muffin was OTT. Actually, the whole thing was OTT in view of the fact that babysitter knew her spending the money meant no book for her charge. Bit selfish really.

I would be more upset at the inconsiderate nature of the babysitter than I would the price of the muffin.

Poor kid didn't get her book.

hannahsaunt · 11/04/2007 15:56

Am having similar dilemma right now (though must add that if I had proposed the outing I would have included funds for sitter and child).

Here - nanny doing extra hours for me this week; I left out books to take ds1 to library and he has tennis this pm. She texted me to say that they were going to the beach for a walk. When I popped home at lunch it transpires that she had paid for him to do several rides at the funfair at the beach - do I pay for these or not as it's not something we normally allow dcs to do (mainly because we go to the beach a lot and to do rides every time would leave us bankrupt).

Eleusis · 11/04/2007 16:04

hannahsaunt,
I set a budget for my nanny. She gets £70/month to spend on activities however she so chooses. (and she also gets a bus pass to cover travel and a phone to cover arranging activities and talking to me). But, by setting the £70 budget, I never get a big unexpected bill at the end of the month.

Eleusis · 11/04/2007 16:09

BTW, I agree that if I had sent DD and bsitter to starbucks, I'd have given them enough money for a drink each and a book for DD. Maybe you should give the book money to DD next time so nanny doesn't spend it.

Original poster

Earlybird · 11/04/2007 16:15

hannahsaunt - I'd reimburse sitter this time as she honestly didin't know your policy regarding funfair rides. But explain yourself so that she knows it's not in the budget for future.

Isn't it funny how thse little 'real life scenarios' can catch us out?

OP posts:

soak · 11/04/2007 16:16

or tell them to get the hot chocolate and muffin from mcdonalds instead!

I have no idea if they taste the same as I refuse point blank to pay starbuck prices!!!!
mcdonalds do do nice hot chocolate thought...

bozza · 11/04/2007 16:24

So did you expect the babysitter just to sit and watch your DD drink her hot chocolate? I agree that having a muffin was taking the p. a bit but think you should have funded a drink for her under the circumstances. So I think you were both wrong.

Eleusis · 11/04/2007 16:54

Bozza, I think everyone (including Earlybird) agrees about the drink. It's just that by spending the money on food she kept the poor kid from buying the book she had been promised.

Original poster

Earlybird · 11/04/2007 19:28

bozza - as I said before, I hadn't thought it through and was unsure about how things unfolded. It is not a big thing in the overall scheme of things, but I aim to be fair, so asked for guidance here. Thanks for your feedback.

OP posts:

sunnyjim · 11/04/2007 19:34

I agree that if you specifically ask a babysitter/nanny/au pair/friend to take DD to starbucks for you then you also offer to pay for their drink - but NOT their snack.

Otherwise if they just fancy a snack/drink then they pay for it themselves. I dont' expect my boss to pay for the £3 latte I fancy having at 11am when there is free tea and coffee in the staffroom!

Same with clubs and funfair ride or icecreams in the park. I made it clear to our exnanny that the things I asked her to take DS too I woudl fund - and pay for her to have a cuppa to if appropriate. But he wasn't to do funfair rides etc without checking - partly the money thing but also stuff like that is a big change in routine for DS so I'd need to okay it first.

GeeGee2 · 11/04/2007 19:53

Agree that should pay for drink but the muffin (given that it meant no book) was unnecessary.

Float money was always a point of contention for me. I gave £30 a week and £60 during the school holidays (2 children). I felt this was fair as I also paid directly for music and gym classes etc. On a number of occassions the nanny took my six month old to have lunch in a restaurant with one of her nanny friends, for a 'play date' with a three year old. I was expected to pick up my nannies lunch bill, despite plenty of food at home!

When I spoke to her about this she made me feel like I was being totally unreasonable and stingy with the float money. I'm happy to pay for lunches out when they are on a day trip and a packed lunch is not always an option, but I object to paying for my nannies social life.

I'm now very clear on what the float money can be spent on.

Eleusis · 12/04/2007 08:12

Geegee, I think £30/week is quite generous. Does that include travel?

And I think your x-nanny was way out of line. My contract says that employer provides nanny's food which is usually but not always prepared and consumed in employer's home.

sunnyjim · 12/04/2007 12:43

what on earth did she spend £30 on?!?

I never spend that much on DS in a week and that includes weeks when we've done 'something special'

GeeGee2 · 12/04/2007 22:37

The £30 was a float for 'incidental expenses'. It wasn't always spent, and she often saved it up for the holidays when she'd use it to take the kids out to farms etc or to the cinema. It was generally spent on car parking, entrance to toddler groups, soft play centre, drinks /snacks, craft materials for the children for making seasonal cards, my presents from the children for mother's day, bread / milk etc, if I happened to run out during the week.

Some of the dodgier ones (which I had to repeatedly talk to her about) were - presents which 'she' bought for the children when out and about (especially some very dodgy clothes), and presents which 'she' gave to my DD's music teacher when she had a baby, lunches out with the children rather than coming home to eat.

It was also a battle getting her to tell me what the money was being spent on. I honestly don't think she was being dishonest, but just extremely naive on what is justifiable expenditure.

Genidef · 12/04/2007 22:59

Interesting thread. I always paid for the classes each week, but expected C to have lunch at home or take something we'd prepared with her. Nanny helped herself to whatever she liked (plus the tea for her daughter etc!!) Sometimes nanny organised trips to McD's (despite the fact that tehre was plenty of food at home, and I was in fact throwing away unused stuff we'd prepared at the end of the week sometimes) with her nanny friends. I didn't pay for that lunch, as I saw it as her choice and fundamentally based on wanting to socialise, when she could have made other arrangements where she wasn't out of pocket.

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