CM Club - This can't be right can it? Others childminders telling me..........

[looneytune]

I have this new 6 week old baby starting next week and I'm hoping to continue with my Thursday toddler group but need to check with mum first due to routine given. Other childminders said 'oh well, just don't tell her' and 'well if she doesn't want you to, come anyway' If I had other children on the days I'm having baby then of course this would all have been discussed and I'd have said she has to go or she's not to use me. BUT, this is the one who's agreed to pay me double in return for 1:1 care. Therefore (unless it's holidays), it will just be this lady's baby as my ds is at nursery and this baby is using 2 spaces (so all under 5's used up). Surely if I'm only looking after her baby, I should do what she wants (within reason)? And to suggest going behind parents backs!!! These are all nice ladies, differing ages/length of time being a childminder etc. and I was really surprised they were saying this!

What do you think of what they said? Strange or do others go behind parents back like this?

I use a childminder and would be horrified if she went behind my back. given that she is paying you for 1;1 care I would be upfront and honest with her.

Start as you mean to go on.

Just tell your childminding pals that if someting was to happen to their charge in a place hwere they shouldn't be they could be liable!!! and could end up with a very bad reputation and no users of their service!!!!

HTH

If it was somewhere you went with other mindees every week I would talk to the mother about going, but seeing as she pays you for all your places, No definitely not without her permission!

I take children swimming and people come to me for a Interview, I tell them, and have had some say 'Well I don't want my child to go' in which case I tell them that it is a regular activity that the other children enjoy, and I would not be prepared to stop because of her child so I am probably not the childminder for her.

I would not go behind parents backs!

I'm astonished actually. I'd be very upset if my CM went behind my back and I probably would know as I have SAHM mum friends who go to the same toddler groups she takes ds to.

On the other hand I would be Ok with you going to a toddler group once a week even if it didn't fit in with the baby's routine exactly. I assume it would only be once a week.

The fact is that you are being paid for two children and only have to look after one so it is not on to do this without checking with the mother first.

I definitely wouldn't do something like this without the mum knowing, especially as it is bound to get back to her. I also think it reflects really badly on those who think it's OK to do it behind parents' backs!!

I always tell parents what my usual routine is at our first meeting - if they don't like the fact that we go out somewhere every morning, then they have the option to choose someone else.

Glad you all agree. I was totally shocked that they were saying this. I couldn't give a t*ss what they say, NO WAY am I going unless the mother wants me to. It's got nothing to do with being found out or anything, I think it's just plain WRONG and as a mother I'd be FURIOUS if my CM lied to me or went behind my back!!!!

When this lady came to visit me, it was intially about adhoc care on odd occasions so we didn't go into detail about everything, I just said what I normally do, which included toddler groups. The next day she suddenly wanted me for 2 full days on contract and then also agreed to pay me double. So we've had to catch up to go through other details to get the contract together and I just need to find out her views on the group once a week. If she doesn't want me to go then I WON'T be going!!

When I came on here it was just to vent off as I was shocked at what was said!

Anyway, I'm off to have a large drink now

As a mother I would be happy but it's good to discuss it. I always wanted (in our case) our nanny to enjoy her work/life and if meeting her friends with children helped that then that was a good plan and I think being alone with the children can get a bit boring for some CM and nannies so it's nice if they can get out to things. But you're right to ask the parents.