I didnt explain it very well either did I.
Mindee was used to being at home with baby sis and Mum. Mum had a back problem and he was placed in full time care with a nursery.
She complained about the nursery and found me (she lives down the same road as me) and searched me out on CIS.
When son come to me, she said they had been potty training him since january, he seemed to have mastered wees but not poos at this stage. Day one he arrived and bless him had an accident, I showed him bathroom and potty and encouraged etc, did everything I can.
From end of week one, I said it didnt seem to be going well but that I would persist into week two - not a problem but that given all that had happened to them as a family, it was maybe to be expected that he was slightly unsettled and at end of week 2 suggested pull ups.
At some points she was so drugged up due to her back, she would call during the day crying etc, I did my best to cheer her up, and of course look after the 3 children...and dont you just know that as soon as you get on the phone, they are all going to start a small drama of something.
Anyway she reluctantly gave in to pull ups so I returned all the pants I had here (no word of a lie- about 20 pairs). She called me (I rarely saw her, only dad drop off in the morning and relative to collect etc) and she said "why have you sent all these pants home?" - clearly not actually remembering what we had agreed. I got even more confused as sometimes he would turn up in nappies to my house, (dad got them ready - she stayed in bed, ill) and mum would call me to say "use pants whilst at home wont you??).
I have a mindee on a wednesday, he is 3.5 and potty trained, mindee WOULD use potty with other mindees, but as the only other potty trained mindee i have is on a wednesday this was not that often. On the last week, I coached him so much so that at every snack/meal time we would go to wash hands/sit on potty etc and whilst he didnt wee on it, at least we had a go, then on the day with other mindee, we had such a big cheer/cuddles and even kisses (he kissed me!!) and reward stickers, it was such a big thing....i really DID try.
I still stand by my opinion that he was completely unsettled by everything that had happened, she was VERY unsettled as a mother (she admitted that and openly admitted to not knowing what she is saying half the time) and that is what I will say should it come up the day we go to "panel" for approval (hopefully).
My only two mindees now are children of very good freinds - they have both been briefed on the situation and have no hesitation in providing references, infact one of the couples is one of our referees....
Anyway, yes I stayed with my mum in hospital on the monday and tuesday and returned on the tues night, which is when she sacked me, and the children never returned.
And yes - she knew we were adopting - and who with - she told me many times how amazing I was and how the children loved me, funnily enough (saltire), she mentioned how the kids smelt of me/my home. I only had them for four weeks and they were lovely children, and she even wanted me to look after them on a more permanent basis (was only initially for 6/8 weeks).
Dear O Dear, sometimes dontcha just wish you HADNT picked up the pgone!??!
Sorry to sound off, and to be soooo cross, but promised husband I would not let her get to me....