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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Should I sack my nanny - safety concerns

48 replies

knakered · 02/04/2007 23:50

I have had my nanny for nearly 3 months now. I have had an intuitive feeling that she doesnt get safety from the begining but thought it "was just me"...I have 4 children - oldest 3 at school - but a 9 month old at home. The nanny told me that she left the baby in the car alone around the back of the shops in a car park whilst she brought the five year old into buy an ice cream...it was 6.30pm and dark...this made me fel sick...and I gently explained that this was wrong. Today I cam ehome for her to tell me that the baby (just started crawling)...enjoyed playing out on the deck ...and it was great as she could sit inside on the sofa and watch her...this made me feel sick...the deck had a sheer 2ft drop down onto conrete steps (I know we need to sort this)...but if the baby had fallen there waas absolutely no way she could have got to her front in doors on the sofa...and we would have avery serious accident on our hands. She is a really nice girl but I think that she as absolutely no "safety instinct"...I am not sure I can teach her this ...and dont want for her to learn by her mistakes on my childrens health and safety. My husband and I have had a massive row this evening as my instinct is that I feel unable to hand over my babay to her in the morning. He thinks that we need to " train" her up - and that I would be unfair in letting her go. We have not yet set up a contract and I have contingencies for a alternative childcare.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ScottishThistle · 03/04/2007 12:45

This girl doesn't sound like she has the common sense to be a Nanny...Sounds like she needs to spend some time as a Mother's help...Of course she said her last family were awful (she probably got sacked) & I can't believe you didn't check references as the alarm bells should have been ringing (very loudly).

Original poster

knakered · 03/04/2007 15:01

I feel like a right looser - was only trying to give her a break -- too trusting and polite thats my problem...anyway I have to get home this evening and dismiss her

OP posts:

Original poster

knakered · 03/04/2007 15:01

I feel like a right looser - was only trying to give her a break -- too trusting and polite thats my problem...anyway I have to get home this evening and dismiss her

OP posts:

Eleusis · 03/04/2007 15:46

You are not a loser. We all have a learning a curve, and mine was no more pleasant than yours is now. To make a long story short, she was neglectful (fed DD white toast with chocolate spread for brekkie, left her to pay in the back garden with an open (battery exposed) mobile phone -- I found this out later, spent the day surfing the web for boys to chat with and downloading "inappropriate content" onto my laptop whilst ignoring 14 month old DD, used to let DD run around upstairs with open windows that were definately wide and low enough for a toddler to climb out... this scared the shit out of me). So, basically she resigned, she threatented to leave, and I said you know what "good-bye", you are leaving today. I called my boss, took the ret of the week off, rounded up a childminder to cover the next two weeks while I sorted out another nanny.

It was no fun. Just as your evening is going to be no fun. But you just have to do it.... for the kids' sake. But, you will feel so much better when she is gone.

Can we help you recruit the next one??? Come here for support. You will need it.

ScottishThistle · 03/04/2007 15:49

Sorry, you're not a loser!

Please check references, it's very important!

daisy26 · 03/04/2007 15:56

how old was this nanny. Surely whatever age the children are, it's instinct-if that's the right word.It's common sense aswell, she obv donesn't know how to look after young children-don't seem that way very well.

Eleusis · 03/04/2007 16:09

Daisy, I used to think that anyone with half a brain and over the age of about 17 could look after a toddler all day long -- boy was I naive.

ScottishThistle · 03/04/2007 16:11

Eleusis, I've met many people with more than half a brain totally incapable of looking after a baby!...I've also met some with no brain who manage very well!

chocolateface · 03/04/2007 16:12

I've just read this and feel sick. Please find someone you can trust.

daisy26 · 03/04/2007 16:42

I had never done nannying before till the other week. I wnt even leave the 1 yr old in the living room on their own,if I gotta go out the room, ill take him with me, he has a 3yr old sister, but she's ok and quite independant, 1 yr old is only crawling at the minute.My family got two ref of two parents, interviewed me and that was that, they didn't do allot of checking on me. But lucky enough i have bit of exp in nurseries and im honest. Suppose you just have to go with what you think, when your hiring

NannyL · 03/04/2007 17:17

Ok have read (with horror) this post!

from a nannies point of view this person id not fit to be a nanny! give her her weeks notice and look for a new nanny!

also i dont think i would want to leave my children (especially a crawling baby) with her at all, so i personally would just pay her her notice but not ask her to work it cause i dont think i could trust some one like that to look after a crawling baby

and make sure you check the references for your new nanny, oh and get the contract sorted etc.

im sure if you phoned a couple of agencies they may have some temp nannies able to start at short notice.

good luck

pinkandsparkly · 03/04/2007 18:45

BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind giving her notice, that's one more week's worth of opportunities for her to put your children at risk. She has no contract, you have emergancy childcare sorted, get rid, end of.

The thing that really scares me about this hopeless excuse for a nanny is that she was actually TELLING you what she's done, in what seemed from your post to be a casual manner. She obviously has NO natural instinct for child safety (most people have at least a bit, some a bit too much!) I feel very frightened for the safety of any future children she might be left in charge of.

Knackered, I expect this had been a real eye opener for you but try not to beat yourself up about it, your maternal instincts may just have saved your children from serious injury.

If your DH is still making a fuss about the hassle of finding a new nanny, just ask him to picture himself justifying his decision to 'train up' your current 'nanny' whilst sitting in your local A+E department waiting to find out if your dc will be scarred for life/brain damaged/able to walk again.

Harsh I know but with a 'nanny' making these kind of MASSIVE safety errors these senarios could really happen.

Eleusis · 04/04/2007 08:29

Sooooooo... how did it go?

And, incidentally, I agree that she shouldn't be given a weeks a notice. Just tell her to go, effective immediately. The scenario you describe, in my view, is definately in the realm of gross misconduct.

And, how are you???? I hope you have your DH's support!

NAB3 · 04/04/2007 10:42

A lesson here. All people employing nannies, put in the contract about immediate dismissal for things like this.

Eleusis · 04/04/2007 15:21

Knackered,
I've just recieved an e-mail from someone asking about our job (which has already been filled). If you want to know more, cat me and I'll pass you her details and you can see if she's interested in your job (which I assume is vacant by now).

Job reference: Private Advert
Message: Hello, my name is x xxx, and I am interested in the position as a nanny for your family.

I am currently working in London as an au pair. The family I am working for will be moving in June/July, and as one of their children will be going to boarding school, they will then no longer have a position available for me.

I am looking for full time nanny work, and have spent the majority of my life working with children. I would be more than happy to provide you with my current CV, as well as references, including one from my current employer.

I do have a full drivers license, though I have not yet had the opportunity to drive on the left side of the road (I am from Vancouver, Canada). I'm sure that with a lesson, or the opportunity to practise first (with one of the parents) I will have no problems adapting. I have had my licence for 5+years, and have never had an accident. I also have experience as a shuttle driver, so I know what its like to drive with distractions, such as fighting in the back seat.

I enjoy cooking, and am more than capable of preparing well-balanced and tasty meals. I love to be outside, weather that is going for a walk, or hike, or just reading a book in a park. I tend not to spend too much time cooped up in the house, and I hope your children enjoy outside games.

I graduated high school with honours in french, and would enjoy a chance to use it regularly. While I did not continue my french studies into university, I have taken a few Spanish courses in my spare time.

Though I do not have full time, sole charge experience with children, I am more than confident in my abilities to provide a safe, and fun environment for your children.

Please let me know of any questions or concerns you may have.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Kindest regards,
(name deleted for this post)

jura · 04/04/2007 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eleusis · 04/04/2007 20:30

Well, have you sacked her or what?

Original poster

knakered · 04/04/2007 22:24

Thanks for all you feedback ..it has been really useful to have my instincts echoed and to feel supported to get thru an emotional, devastating, unpleasant and chaotic few days. The best thing I did was to get my husband to read all of your posts last night. I had a heart to heart with her last night - there were tears on both sides...I really like this girl and so do my children...I take responsibility for putting her in a position that she is not able for and I apologised for this as well as suggesting that experience and training etc with babies needs to be gained in a supervised/mentored environment...I am not around to give that. I said that I have lost confidence and that I cant get back from that. I took today off and my husband was off also and took the older 3 out for the day. I spent the day trawling my network and have found a fabulous highly trained nanny with fab refs ready to start after Easter. So tomorow morning I will give her a weeks notice..we are bth around Thurs and most of next week. thanks again

OP posts:

suejonez · 04/04/2007 22:25

you have done well to bite the bullet, its not easy sacking someone. Good luck with new nanny

Josie3 · 04/04/2007 22:27

It's really nice to see that you aren't just throwing her to the wolves - but have been honest and caring with her. You've given her constructive advice and i hope she follows it.

nannyj · 05/04/2007 06:39

Knackered - you couldn't have handed it better. Good luck with the new nanny.

Eleusis · 05/04/2007 07:43

I agree. Knackered, you handled the situation very well. Pat yourself on the back for finding the appropriate middle groud between dedicated parent and fair employer.

Nicely done.

Kelly1978 · 05/04/2007 08:14

I saw this thread earlier, glad you have it sorted, and it sounds like you handled it really well.

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