CM CLUB - WWYD? I feel so sick with worry and stress.............

[LoveMyGirls]

Ok i'll try to keep this brief.

At the beginning of march i was full for under 5's and finally sorting out my overdraught at last, despite constant set backs, car troubles, christmas (a full time mindee left 2 weeks before christmas as well)THEN my newish mindee left (35 hours - ish)then at the start of this week I had notice from another mindee (bad timing) so i've been doing everything i can trying to find new mindee's otherwise my wages will be going down to £50 a week which we just cant afford to happen. So as you can see it's been a bit stressful lately this on top of ordinary daily life, having my own 2 kids 1 who is struggling with schoolwork and needing alot of support and dd2 who has been teething and got a cold so has been waking us.

Now since serving notice this family have been nit picking, creating problems that just aren't there and generally having a tone, whilst i have been very accomadating and nice I have constantly apologised even though I haven't been in the wrong at all and have followed all procedures etc. They have also said they cannot afford to pay me any more than 3 weeks pay even though contract states 4 - i was willing to let this go but now for 2 reasons i'm wondering if i should fight them in court for what is rightfully mine? I have spoken to NCMA legal line who have informed me that i have the right to go to court if i want to go that far.

Then today to top it all off we had a car crash - no mindee's in car, it was just a shunt because of the wet etc but bottom line is it's going to cost us £250 (which we just havent got) after this i got a phonecall accusing my dp of being ignorant when mum picked mindee up, which he wasn't at all - it's the straw that has broken the camels back to be perfectly frank, as soon as i said what had happened to us and apologised profusely (despite us having done nothing wrong) they said oh ok forget it then (as if they want to make my life harder maybe to stop them feeling so bad about not giving me the last weeks money?)

I don't know i don't get it I don't see a reason for this anamosity (sp?) i'm just trying to do what's best for my family and it feels like i'm being knocked down constantly and i've had enough.

So what would you do?

Thanks if you have read this so far.

Oh, poor you. It sounds like you're having a really crap time at the moment.

If the amount of money they owe you is so much that it would be worth the stress and hassle of going to court then yes, do it. However, if it's a small amount then maybe you should write it off and consentrate on finding new mindees. I haven't had to go through this so maybe someone who has would be able to advise you on what's involved.

Maybe even the threat of court would be enough to make them cough up the money they owe you.

I hope you get it sorted soon.

I didnt want to cause lots of fuss i wanted it to end nicely but the way they are behaving is so out of order i'm wondering if i might as well get the money they owe me if im going to put up with their attitude anyway.

How long does it take for it to go to court and recover the money?

If they carry on being like they are do i have to keep seeing them or can I refuse to give care and still claim my money back or do i lose it? I'm just wondering why i should put up with this treatment, though obviously i can't afford to lose the money as at the moment it's 3 weeks worth of money.

I honestly understand their situation and can sympathise which is why i was going to let them off with the money (but now im thinking we need the money too and they are being out of order)

Oh hunny I've had your msn's and read this and will reply properly, I PROMISE! Ds is poorly with high temp so going to tidy this mess, get him up to bed and then when I can think clearly, I'll come back and reply.

Just wanted to send [[hugs]] for now!!

Oh you poor thing what a bad time you have been having! {{hugs}}

I would put up with them for the last few weeks because if you withdraw service then they don't have to pay you. Hmm - Maybe this is what they are hoping for?!

I would bring up the last weeks worth of money with them, say you cannot afford to be without it and that you can have free legal to claim it back from them if necessary (sp?). Knowing this may well make them fork up but you will have to politely but firmly show you will pursue it.

Ride it out hun, while my ds was teething was my worse childminding spell too - I was tearing my hair out on a daily basis. Just put up with parents for a few more weeks, don't put your energy into stressing about them and just concentrate on finding some nice new little mindees.. they will come along, they always do in the end.

Thank's I do know it will come right in the end.

I know we are all going through hell, the reason she is leaving is money so we're all having a hard time I jsut don't see why they think it's fair to do this to me when i've done nothing to them

I will ride it out and tell them I do need that money. At no point have I said it's ok for them not to pay, I have offered for them to pay in installments though not sure how that will work. They have said if the money is there they will pay me why would they if they think they can get away with not paying though.

We can't go to our insurance and say "yeh we would pay the excess but we're skint sorry" we will have to go into debt for it

I don't see why i should go into more debt because they haven't stuck to thier part of the contract onm top of everything i'm dealing with.

I think if they want to make my life hard to get out of paying me they are mistaken I CANNOT afford to lose the money so I will be hanging in there if they still refuse to pay the last weeks notice i will say i have no choice but to take them to court for the money.

So when should I say this? Do i bring it up now and make things worse than they are or leave it until they mention it again? Or leave it til last minute and tell them so if they throw a complete strop i don't have to see them? Do I send them a letter threatening court action? (bearing in mind i do not want them spoiling my good reputation)

I wish they could stick to what they agreed and i didn't have to look like the baddie threatening court action but I have to protect my business and my family.

One thing I will not be doing is stooping to that level I will be keeping things polite, professional and then I don't have to feel bad about my own behaviour.

I'm back!

Right, deffo make sure you're paid. You know I was with you the other night, agreeing that maybe just let it go blablabla BUT and a BIG BUT......they are now totally taking the pi**, making you feel rubbish etc and now they deserve to have to pay!!! I'd say leave it, let them bring it up. If they bring it up in a way you have to tell them then yes, tell them to pay BUT if they don't, just pretend you didn't hear them! and leave it as late as you can so less uncomfortable. How dare they think that they can get away with it when treating you so badly. You are right to not stoop to their level and to keep it all professional But make sure you get that money, even if you have to go to court. If not, you'll get a rep for letting people off and you could get all sorts knocking at your door

Now I know you're also worried about the future and getting more mindees and I KNOW what a worrying time this is. BELIEVE ME, I've been there. This job is so up and down it can make you feel dizzy at times!! I know you know some of this but just to give you some hope..........

May 05 - got certificate
4 July 05 - started with new mindee (3 days)
later in July 05 - 3 new mindees start (2 family plus their friend)
Aug 05 - 1st mindee adds a day
Oct 05 - gave notice to 2 in family (long story!)
Nov 05 - had to stop last mindee as couldn't do that school run
(now back to one mindee, 4 days a week)
xmas eve 05 - dh sacked, he was out of work for 3 months, we lived off my little bit of income (but boy did they pay! )
14 Feb 06 - new mindee starts
later in Feb - 2 more mindees start
FULL AGAIN (with under 5's)
Dec 06 - mindee moved (he was 2 days)
15 Feb 06 (my birthday!!!) - first ever mindee left - BOO HOO - very upset!!!
and the rest is up in the air as you know but starting to look more positive again.

What I'm trying to say is when things look like they can't get any worse, suddenly they can turn around!!! Just keep doing stuff like you did the other night etc (wow, you are SOOO brave) and I'm sure you'll get there hun!

Ok I have spoken to them now (they phoned me) I have insisted they pay me in full for the 4 weeks notice. I have agreed I will be paid in installments if nessecary. I have said i will care for mindee right up until the contract end date so if i do have mindee for the last week do I insist on money at start of week as usual or do I say if they want to pay in installments then I won't have her due to breach of contract which states they must pay in advance on a monday morning?

I don't want to take this to court but I can't afford not to.

What do you do when someone says they really can't afford to pay?

I've explained it in lots of ways and senario's so they can understand my point of view, I hope they see I am being reasonable and to not pay me would be breeching their agreement so would be giving me the go ahead to take them to court?

Hmm it's a tricky one but try to get it as usual from them in advance on the last monday - or at least a chunk of it? You know the paretns better so better to judge them but in your situation I would be worried that the mindee would go on the Friday and they would then just avoid me to not pay! All you can do is just stand firm on needing the money and that you will go to court for it if necessary but could do without the stress.

hope it works out lmg keep us posted

I will do, they seem ok with me today i'm hoping they have realised after our chat yesterday that they were being unreasonable and i'm only asking for what is fair.

I don't feel so bad today think with the crash i was just in a state and things felt alot worse than they are (they are bad but a negative attitude etc won't help me move things forward.

Have sorted out a meeting with the 2yr old mindee's parents for sunday, I'm hoping they will ask for an extra hour a day, 4 hrs a day then at least on the bright side i can finish at 4pm everyday and have fridays off, every cloud has a silver lining, I don't want it to stay like that but for a month or so that would be nice.

There are a few customers in the pipeline for in a month or so, i just need to take the pressure off myself for abit. All this panicking and stress is no good, it won't help me sort things out.

From what you have said about these parents, i think they are trying to make life uncomfortable for you so you will say "ok, just go, don't bother about teh contracts". then they don't have to pay you anything. If it's a reasonable sum of money i would definitely try and get all (or a large percentage of it) on the last Monday. Otherwise how do you know you will get it in the installments?

I agree.

Hopefully the threat of court action will be enough to make them pay. If you let them get away with it,you'll be dissapointed in yourself forever. BE STRONG!

I know what you're saying but if i say iwant the money on the monday as normal and they say we havent got it - do i agree they can pay in installments or refuse to have mindee and still charge them - if they still dont pay can i still take them to court as techincally i'll have refused to care for her because they havent paid. But i guess if they don't pay me on the monday they are breaking thier agreement before im breaking mine?

If you have it in your contract that you reserve the right to refuse to care for any child whose parents haven't paid, then yes you can still take them to court if they owe you the money

Thanks, I have the standard NCMA contracts. I'll sit and read through them very carefully.

UPDATE - mindee came as normal on friday, now they have said they're keeping mindee off for the rest of notice and have been today and paid me another 2 weeks money (1 week left to be paid).

What i don't get is why pay and not send mindee? makes no sense to me. Not like I have given them any reason to doubt the care mindee has/ would receive. I have said it's a real shame and that if they need me to have mindee i will of course be available.

I just don't get it

Have other parents been spreading rumours about your care by any chance?

Does sound like there is more to this than meets the eye. Must be upsetting for you. If it is really bothering you I would try and pluck up the courage to just ask them what's going on?????? But may be best if you can just leave it (but still make sure you get the final weeks money owed).

I wouldn't have thought so I don't think any of the parents know each other or know anyone who knows me but you never know. Anyone i have spoken to knows how much i loved and looked after this mindee (and any mindees i have)

Just seems odd, i'm putting it down to stuff going on at home that i'm not aware of.

hmm, id be careful theyre not trying to make it look like they 'had' to take their child out, i dont know why or for what reason, but to pay for 2 weeks and not the third and say they would not be back?very very odd??

I was thinking that for a while pinkchick but i honestly cant think of anything they could say id done/ not done and no point worrying over it until i hear something.

I agree it is odd but what can i do.