Childminder or nursery - wwyd? Urgent decision!

[Tortycat]

Stressing as I'm due back to work in a couple of weeks and still dont have childcare decided.

Background (long!): Dc are 3 and 1. Dc1 was initially in a small nursery from 1 yr and took a while to settle, but did eventually. We then moved house when he was 18 months so had to change, and chose a childminder as local nurseries were full. He settled ok and seemed fairly happy over the next year. I was generally happy with her but couple of niggles

• she occasionally seemed to do her errands with the children eg getting her phone fixed, picking up parcels etc, and only later mentioned to me in passing. I wouldn't object but would have liked to know given its time shes paid to do childcare.
• she got a 'needs improvemenr' Ofsted rating as her paperwork wasnt up to date (she minimised this as just paperwork). She's since got a good rating but hasnt updated her paperwork since, suggesting she hasnt learnt from this (i asked for my son's book and she said she hadnt updated it)
• i bumped into her in the local park while i was out with the baby. She was running to put another ticket in her car and had left my son (along with other child in her care) with another childminder who i dont know keeping an eye.

My son then started to be unhappy about going, saying he didnt like it and being silent or clingy on drop off. I'm not sure why but maybe as she moved house and the other boy stopped going. As I've been off on mat leave i decided to take him out and he's been at home with me since Easter.

Im now due back at work. Ive got a place at a local nursery which comes recommended, but torn between this for both dc, and going back to childminder (having dc2, and doing wrap around care for dc1 along with a small recommended nursery (thats only 9-3 term time). Myself and dp both commute a long way so i feel it might be less stressful getting back for her rather than nursery who are stricter on time. Am i being too precious with niggles I've mentioned?? Also she cant confirm what other children will be with her so no idea how many/ what ages they'll be with.

I worry as dc1 is a sensitive soul who i know will be rattled about starting somewhere new, and dc2 is super clingy at the moment. Feel paralysed with indecision!

You have to go with what you feel comfortable with, but some of the things you mention are the reasons I chose CM over a Nursery !

I love the fact that my dc went to the post office, or a shop or to do other errands - out and about a lot of the day doing 'normal household stuff' rather than being cooped up in 'the baby room' at a Nursery all day. That's the best sort of childcare in my book - combining playing with 'jobs' and school runs and other real life stuff. As close to a home environment as you can get.

I also liked the fact that CMers are part of a community that back each other up and help each other out when they can. She didn't leave your dc with some random stranger, she made a professional judgement that, as they were enjoying themselves in the park, she would leave them under the professional care of another CMer for 2 mins rather than either cutting short their play time in the park to take them away before the ticket ran out, or take them away from playing in the sunshine to take both of them into the car park (or road?) where the car was (much more dangerous environment) to put the money in and then bring them back. I would have thought that was a good judgement call.

Also she cant confirm what other children will be with her so no idea how many/ what ages they'll be with.

Not sure why this is a criticism of the CM ? I doubt if the Nursery could tell you who would be in his room either? That's down to other parents not yet having confirmed places / days / etc.

Up to you of course, but I'd have no problem with what you call the 'niggles'.
Is there long enough to arrange 'settling in' sessions at Nursery now, if you are back in a couple of weeks? Nurseries are often on minimum staff over August, and Nurseries understandably can have less flexibility over settling in sessions than a CM can.

Thanks for your reply. Yes i have settling in sessions booked in the end of this week. I was def going to go with nursery but then realised cm could do wraparound care for dc1 so she seemed another viable option (I'd like him to go to a small nursery setting to help with his speech).

I'm probably worrying too much as its only 2 days but i worry sending him back sonewhere he said he didnt like (but suspect he'll also say this about nursery!).

My niggle about the car park was tbat it's right next to the playground so no road etc to cross, dc1 loves putting money in so wouldn't mind leaving, and i know he wouldnt like staying with an adult he doesnt know well (i wouldn't leave him with my friends apart from one he knows best).

Just finding decision so hard and has to be made today. Cm is on hol abroad so i cant discuss it with her

The going out to do errands are mini fun outings for children and they get fresh air. This is still childcare and better than them being stuck inside.

It's a tough decision. I have used both for childcare over the years. It's hard if you are not 100% about CM. Pros and cons for both so maybe write a list. My experience of nursery was very positive, from the baby room and beyond there were activities, stimulation, outings, outside time and quiet time. Neither of mine settled straight away. They were never cooped up all day. Give them a month at whatever you decide then revisit? You could always look at another childminder that ticks all the boxes you need ticked. Good luck xx

That's the best sort of childcare in my book - combining playing with 'jobs' and school runs and other real life stuff. As close to a home environment as you can get

I certainly agree with this. You must trust your instincts though.

I chose nursery for all of my children from 8 months onwards. For me it was the right decision but the reasons nursery was right for me differed from friends who chose childminders. It's very personal and you'll have your reasons either way.

One observation though would be whilst I'd be concerned about the paperwork side you mentioned and DC being upset when you dropped off I would not be concerned about the odd errand. When I worked full time I had to do some errands during lunch break. A childminder tends to not have a break during the day with no children so realistically they have to take them for some errands. Plus children tend to enjoy quick errands anyway, they experience different settings, they get out house to journey there and often get chatted to my adults around them.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Local errands i usually have no problem with and can see the benefits mentioned. The phone errand only niggled me as they had to go quite a drive into the busy town centre and park quite a way off, it wasnt a walk to our local shops. I know I'm probably being a bit precious though. As another q, how much tv do people think is acceptable towards thr end of the day?

Trying to tell myself both options are probably fine but i cant stop stressing...

She may have been limited to when she took the phone in. If she hadn't have gotten her phone repaired then she would have been hard to contact and will also probably rely on said phone when she is out and about.

I have no problems with the points you mentioned. Leaving the children with a trusted friend while she nipped to put money in is surely fine? And errands need to be done.
Just to add that the cm and nursery are both businesses. While you can have some say in how you'd like things to be done like naps etc... it is her business. She's not a nanny where you have more say in what they do..

I didn't mind the childminder - she talked to her and played as well as running errands - went to parks etc

The nursery we had settling in sessions had very bored looking babies - they arranged expensive outing where we're had to pay £25 for taking them on a coach - no option to not go and still pay for the day - all young teens

I'd go childminder again

Do you know for sure that she has a wrap around care place for your oldest child? Childminders can only care for 3 preschool age children at any one time. Most want children who want a longer day than wrap around if they are preschool age.
A childminder is home from home childcare so running errands, popping to the shops is all part of a normal day.

If her grading has now changed she has been re-inspected and her paperwork deemed correct.

Errands - are part of the learning experience going out seeing the environment looking and talking about jobs, print numbers science handing money over etc.

Permission - you should have signed a permission form including car travel - did you then query how far when etc? I take mine up to half and hour journey and never get special permission for this (traffic means you don't go far in that time...and we sing chat etc).

Leaving with another cm......she does not have to ask your permission as she was in sight of your child. She probably knows this cm and so does your child so not a stranger and part of the transition to school requires separation from key worker and seeking help from other familiar adults.....you Lo is probably less keen to do this with you because he can sense your anxieties and is probably different with the cm.

Saying good bye when you leave - this is common to have some reluctance from time to time including when mummy has a new baby or is not doing her normal things, after holidays, when mummy is anxious and hangs around etc....a better indication is how desperate they are to leave when you come after the first hello cuddle - providing you always say good bye and never just disappear - this breads anxiety and the lo tends to panic that you might disappear again.

Speech - many cm's have as good training as room managers some have better including degrees. I have specialist training in many needs include early language skills, portage and I'm a trained SENCO with children being placed with me because I can give them more 1 to 1 support and more individual planning. I can also call in specialists and do referrals to chams and speech therapy sessions.

You do need to be confident with your choice and that is a very personal thing but none of the factors you mention above would make it an automatic less safe or wise choice. Go with you instinct.

Paperwork - your child's book being updated is not the sort of paperwork that requires improvement - there is no need to have written observations and planning if you can demonstrate you know the child well where they are what they are interested in and what are their next steps - recently Ofsted changed guidance because they listened to practitioners who complained of the unnecessary paperwork that took time away from working with the children meaning practitioners were spending more time observing than supporting play. Many nurseries now only do global obs all the children sat on the carpet and listened to x which is actually not very relevant In my work observing practitioners in nurseries some were writing the daily diaries at 10 am for the whole day including meals sleeps and nappies, something Ofsted would never pick up.
The important paperwork is register, medication accidents and incidents and it is possible to be down graded because a parent rushed off shouting x has a bruise on her leg...the practioner records this and then an inspector arrives and says why didn't you get parent to sign it? The fact that you would do tonight is not good enough.